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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to buy my daughter expensive new uniform instead of second hand

76 replies

Amandella · 26/05/2008 14:33

Ok, I don't know how to write this without sounding like a wealthy stupid desperate housewife but my youngest dd is starting in a new private school in September and yesterday we got a uniform list and instructions on where to go for fittings at John Lewis. Looking at the list which is frankly miles long and ludicrously overpriced, my dh commented that there was sure to be a second hand shop at the school and I should check it out. Being dutiful desperate housewife, but hoping that there wasn't, I rang school and friendly lady advises that there is indeed a second hand shop and i'm welcome to come in to see if I can get anything. OK, so the total list of items she needs comes to about £350 and no, we are not loaded, but t.b.h I can afford this so I would prefer my dd to go to her first school in her own new clothes... it's just me - I am not a snob and I don't have an issue in buying stuff second hand as time goes on but I just have a vision of her starting school in new stuff just like her sister did and just like I remember doing when I went to school. This sounds trite I know but is it unreasonable?? Dh is not bothered either way!
Thanks

OP posts:

widgypog · 26/05/2008 20:37

I think you should def buy new. I am like you and I dont really have a valid reason for buying new when dd starts in spetember but I will be anyway. I have always said I would rather not eat for a month than send her in 2nd hand clothes on her first day. I am not a snob but I do feel first impressions count and I want her to fit in and have no reason for her to feel uncomfortable.

I have another dilemma in that our next door neigh bours have been giving me 2nd hand school clothesfor years and I have been 'losing' them so I am going to have to make up and excuse as to where they are..DOH!!!

MrsWeasley · 26/05/2008 20:44

Amandella: I agree with you its nice if their first uniform is a new one.

My DS is starting a new school in september he has 3 siblings who all went there so we have a load of uniforms in various sizes but for his first days he will have brand new things. He will undoubtly wear some of the others things later in his school life but not to start with!

ivykaty44 · 26/05/2008 20:45

Many moons ago when buying my own dd's uniform from the second hand uniform sale - I was so pleased to see a millionaire at the same second hand uniform sale, shopping for uniform for one of her dd's as well

They wern't mean or stingy just practicle and even if you do have the odd 60 million there is no shame in recycling

I like down to earth thinking

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 26/05/2008 20:48

If you can do it, buy new.

My parents always made sure we had new for school.

Part of DS's summer uniform is a polo shirt with the school logo on it. In reception he had seven, one for every day and some spare. They do not wash very well, so now he has M&S plain white for during the week and logo for assembly on Friday.

cupsoftea · 26/05/2008 20:49

Got as much as possible second hand - a popular thing to do & after the first few days I was pleased I did. I'd say you'll be spending on shoes, bag, activities....

Earlybird · 26/05/2008 21:47

Why not go along to the second hand shop to check out the quality of what is on offer? If it looks worn/shabby/old, then don't purchase, and buy new.

Personally, have never heard of children 'making fun' of another child's second hand uniform. How would they know it is second hand if it's in reasonable condition, and got the child's own nametag sewn in? Also, can't imagine primary school children noticing/caring.

stitch · 26/05/2008 21:50

i would never let a child go to a new s chool in second hand clothes, unless i was literally atarving to death.
however, once there, i would make good use of the second hand shop.
first impression count for a lot in social situations. you never get a chance to make a first impression again

edam · 26/05/2008 21:52

If money's not an issue, why not? I can see there's something appealing about sending your little girl off to school in a brand new uniform.

Earlybird · 26/05/2008 21:53

Also, do you think there is a stigma among parents about buying from the second hand uniform shop?

AbbeyA · 26/05/2008 21:55

However would they know whether it was new or second hand? I would only buy it if it was in good condition.

pepperrabbit · 26/05/2008 21:55

Buy it.
My parents moved me in the middle of a term once to a private school and I had second hand uniform - which I fully accept was all they could afford, but my life was made hell. I can honestly say it's the single school experience that sticks in my mind the most - the first girl saying - Oh, isn't that LAST years dress. and the misery that followed.
I would never ever put a child of mine through that. I was 13 so maybe that made a big difference? And i turned out quite normal anyway

Earlybird · 26/05/2008 22:00

Perhaps a silly question - but do uniforms change every few years? If so, can understand a bit more from people who comment on 'last year's dress', and see that could be uncomfortable.

At dd's school, the uniform had been the same for decades. People generally only bought new if money was no object, if the second hand shop had nothing suitable available, or if the oldest child in a family intended to pass on the uniform to younger siblings.

Pollyanna · 26/05/2008 22:04

everyone at my ds and dd1s private school buys secondhand if they can - there is no stigma attached at all. I would rather use the money elsewhere tbh.

Enid · 26/05/2008 22:06

not unreasonable - just a sign you are already following the herd..private school...brand new uniform...are you worrying about your car yet?

BEAUTlFUL · 26/05/2008 22:08

lol Enid!

foofi · 26/05/2008 22:13

I would never buy second hand clothes for my children. However, I do pass the clothes down from sibling to sibling, so I suppose that's the same as second hand.

chunkychips · 26/05/2008 22:13

I would have a look at the second hand stuff, you may not be able to tell the difference. Even if you can afford new, it's good to recycle and there's no stigma attached anymore to second hand stuff. You can tell her it's vintage!

WendyWeber · 26/05/2008 22:14

Could you just buy her a new (very large ) blazer and buy everything else secondhand? (Or, if they're not weird-private-school-colours, buy new stuff but from M&S or somewhere?)

Janni · 26/05/2008 22:17

DS1 started secondary school this year and as it was the first time he'd worn uniform I wanted us to have the 'experience' of buying some new. I bought a couple of each of the items on the list, then topped up at the end of the first week from the second hand uniform shop.

I honestly could not now tell which were the new items and which were second hand.

Earlybird · 26/05/2008 22:19

On the contrary, at dd's school people felt secretly rather pleased with themselves if they were savvy shoppers and somehow ended up with an item from a 'high profile' family from the second hand shop.

DD had a pair of gym shorts from the second hand shop that previously belonged to the child of a minor European royal family. I chuckled when I thought of the shorts coming home to our tiny flat to be washed, as compared to their 'previous life'!

BirdyArms · 26/05/2008 22:21

I agree with the people who said that if you do buy second hand you must make sure it's up to date. I had a mixture when I started school and I wasn't embarassed to have second hand, didn't particularly care whether people knew it was second hand, but I was mortified to turn up in the old print of dress rather than the new. A couple of years later though I was squeezing myself into them because they became very fashionable!

SlackSally · 26/05/2008 22:23

'could you buy any generic things (skirts, shirts, socks) at somewhere cheaper than John Lewis?'

The basic school stuff at John Lewis is just as cheap as elsewhere (skirts/trousers from £4, two polo shirts £3 etc etc). They just have a rep for being expensive because they also sell the poncy schools' overpriced stuff.

Hulababy · 26/05/2008 22:25

If you can afford it, can't see the problem.

However, by the secnd year I bet you are far more willing to hit the school second hand shop. I talk from experience, having bought everything brand new last year - and now some bits, esp the spares, come from the very good second hand shop at school.

Earlybird · 26/05/2008 22:28

Completely understand that you wouldn't want to buy second hand polo shirts or items that wear out quickly.

But, it seems that school uniform is generally so overpriced (especially the lines carried at John Lewis/Peter Jones/Harrod's etc), that it seems foolish to pay full price.

DD's summer pinafores are £54 each, so buying new seems just silly when there are ones in good condition available from the second hand shop.

BEAUTlFUL · 26/05/2008 22:32

At my son's school, mothers raid the end-of-term lost-property tables like they're a free jumble sale.

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