Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

Are you going to move through work? Canada is facing similar issues like UK. If you work in a corporate sector, you have a better chance in the US. Cost of living is higher but so are salaries. Though in current climate, many would avoid it.

You can move to one of the higher income countries in Europe. Quality of life is better. You will be close to UK for visiting children. But you maybe notice all those high income European countries are a bit dull and hard to create social life in when you move in your middle age.

The grass is not greener in Canada, USA or Europe at the moment. Think wisely before decide.
If you have the moneys to not work here that is another story because you will have that money there.
If is because you are fed up of the weather, we'll there is places with a more benevolent one.

You can move to one of the higher income countries in Europe.

You can't 'move' just like that though.

You'd need permission to live and work there, a job lined up and an ability to speak the local language. And even then, you'll likely find a variation of the same problems you find here.

True but this world to a great extent is every man for himself. So best is to think about your personal circumstances and try to create a life which is good for you. If that means moving to another country with better financial opportunities, then so be it as long as it makes you happy.

Went to Canada in April, full of people engaging in general conversation when they heard the British accent and saying they wanted to leave!

Possibly Button Moon given that she’s concerned people will be made of muslin

😂😂

But moving to another country is difficult and Op wants to leave UK. So she needs visa in each of them.

She has written her criteria in Op, so based on that I suggested her these options. Learning foreign language is not impossible. I moved to my 4th country, 2 of them had a language different from my mother tongue and English.

Also, op will need to have a good career behind her, which I assume she her partner does from her op. So before moving, she or her partner has to apply and secure job in that country.

It’s not easy but leaving your country is never easy and post Brexit UK citizens don’t have the luxury of packing bags and moving to an EU country. Most of those countries are having similar problems anyways.

I just looked for images of Button Moon. I think I remember it with rose tinted glasses. It’s not like I remember it for sure. Or I wonder if I’m thinking of Fraggle Rock. Or the Moomins, they lived in a muslin looking place.

Best TV theme tune ever!

Quite. It's how we end up with people moving to idyllic places they spent a fortnight in on holiday, like Cornwall.

Then they move here and slowly realise Cornwall is the poorest county in England, with a dearth of jobs, homes, opportunities, tertiary education, public transport, national chains and health services.... And many move away again to get access to those things. But how different can it be, it's still England.... 🤔

And how big was this island you were on?

Australia. The most sexist misogynistic uncultured place I’ve ever been. And now they think people with dicks (otherwise known as men) can be women. No thank you.

I know three people who've moved to France without any difficulties. All of them are self-employed in roles that can be done remotely from anywhere with decent internet access. They all got residence after a year or so without any difficulty.

One of them has barely any French, even after living there for 2-3 years.

They've never assimilated though, and they're part of a large group of UK ex-pats who all socialise together.

I think it’s a matter of where you are in the UK. In london and pockets of the north west I see pockets of investment, some good and interesting exhibits, thriving local markets and independent cafes and restaurants. In some parts of the south and east, I see less of it. It might just be the specific towns we are visiting too.

I’ve lived aboard (and probably will again at some point in the future) but the challenges / benefits are a lot more nuanced than the UK-bashing would suggest.

I think the transport here is really good. Especially in London. I walk out of my house and wait 5 min for the bus. Love it

I went for a hospital appointment a few weeks ago. Ok it was the weekend but the place looked like a ghost town. There was no one there. A few of us were in the waiting room. No one on reception. As we sat there waiting the lights went out. Someone came out but didn’t say what was going on. After a while the lights went back on again. The woman who came to do the tests asked me how to spell one of the words she was putting in the report.

The whole experience was weird.

The other day I popped into a local hospital to use the loo. It was in a dreadful state. And no soap to wash my hand with. In a hospital! I am wondering if the people who usually do the jobs that are invisible but crucial to maintaining an efficient service have left the country because of the hostile environment.

Both my husband and I (separately) spent some years in Europe and we would really like to move back. We seriously considered it a couple of years ago and realised that we'd maybe missed the opportunity when the kids were tiny and we are basically now waiting to be in your position. Luckily for us, everyone in the family (except me) has a dual British/Irish nationality - so the move should be easy enough. For us, it's the lifestyle that attracts us, a lot more relaxed and balanced, more outdoorsy, and more (easier) opportunities to travel and explore.

I've moved a few countries in the past and one thing I wanted to point out is the social circle. Consider how you would make friends and social life unless you're particularly introverted and dont need anyone. Each time I moved i felt like I'd made a huge mistake and felt very lonely and it took a few months to create a good variety of social connections I could rely on.it was worth in it the end, but the first few months were tough. Obviously if you're very social, it maybe doesn't apply, but my husband is very outgoing and he shares similar concerns. Especially since we have a good circle of friends in the UK.

Good luck. I know we'd be moving for certain when the time is right for us.

No, there are countries where Op does not have to deal with variations of problems mentioned in the post. E.g. Switzerland, Luxembourg. Healthcare is great, taxes are lower than in UK, op complained of people relying on state support, that is also not a problem in these countries, crime is low, there is good infrastructure. The only caveat is they are a bit dull compared to problematic countries. Moving as a middle aged couple is more difficult as these are very quiet societies, so harder to make friends, social life. Also op can’t move without securing a job there.

Op mentioned Canada but is also worried about not being close to potential
grand children. Canada is far from UK, has a lot of social problems going on, op mentioned taxes, Canada has high taxes, a lot of neighbourhood have lost their original character ( another complaint in op), healthcare is declining, salaries are lower. It’s pretty similar to UK. Op can move to Calgary and work in Oil & Gas and make decent money, can live near beautiful nature. Finding a job as a foreigner is challenging in Canada too.

Based on her criteria, other options are Dubai, Singapore. Singapore is not easy to move to and very far, poor work culture.

Good luck Op. Maybe you need to take holidays in multiple locations and talk to some local people about life there.

I would have recommended Switzerland (before Brexit). Especially if OP already speaks German or French (or is a fast language learner)...

We have air con, swimming pools and houses built for the heat. It is a joke in the UK. I would NEVER visit the UK in the summer precisely because of the misery when there are a few days over 23 degrees. I happily live in the Algarve with temperatures regularly between 25-35 degrees with no problem at all.

And that's what we complain about when people from other countries come to live here!

I would think the most obvious question would be what are your languages? If you are restricting yourself to English then you are limiting yourself. If you spent a year working really hard on a new language before moving somewhere it would add to your focus and excitement. If you are restricted to English then Ireland might be an option. Housing is a disaster but if you have enough money you could get lucky especially if you move outside urban high demand areas. Rent out your own house and you'll have that source of income. It's not without it's own issues but I don't think the same sense of frustration is here.. UK seems to be struggling with an empire in decline but here we mostly expect things to be shit, and are happy when they work out 😀 don't get sick though, it's about £50 for a GP visit and could be 100s to see a consultant.

Do you know any non-EU citizens who have been able to move to Switzerland? I speak French, some German and am highly skilled (degree, professional qualification and several years of professional experience) but the wording of the visa requirements is really off-putting!

The other day I popped into a local hospital to use the loo. It was in a dreadful state. And no soap to wash my hand with. In a hospital! I am wondering if the people who usually do the jobs that are invisible but crucial to maintaining an efficient service have left the country because of the hostile environment.

On three occasions in the last few months, I've needed a pee while at a hospital. Every time, the toilets have been absolutely filthy, with no toilet paper save for what was lying among the pool of water that was all over the floor. This was in 2 different departments in one hospital, and at a different hospital int he same trust.

One of these hospitals has had a massive amount of money spent on extending it, has a really swanky reception area, a roof terrace and lots of interesting art all over the place, but they can't seem to manage the basics. So depressing.