Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

I think like many places it depends where you live and your income.
We have a nice house in a lovely area. Kids go to a brilliant state school, we have loads of free events and cultural things to go to. Within an hour can be in the hill, by the sea or in the countryside so we can go camping and enjoy the seasons. It’s not perfect but I’d say my kids quality of life is very high!

If we need a Gp appointment I fill in an online form and get a phone call within 48 hours for adults or on the day for the kids. They then see us within the day if we need to be seen. Wait times are long but for example I paid for a private consultation which the NHS then acted on, that consult cost far less than a years private insurance and considerably less than friends pay for healthcare abroad.

There's plenty of places in the UK that you can have this, I'd consider myself one of them.

Intervene how? If they aren’t overruling U.K. law, don’t have any legal power, why would/could the police intervene? You can’t police how any community council operates if they are within the law. If you don’t think there are similar white community groups / councils who work in ways that dictate what people can do, you’re kidding yourself.

I think we will probably leave when the DC finish school/start university. Thinking Singapore for a few years. Clean, safe, low tax, good weather (I love the heat/humidity weirdly!), could transfer with my company.
Then retire to southern Europe, likely Mallorca/Ibiza (have EU passports).

It’s a few years away yet but that’s my current thinking. YOLO etc. But not naive enough to think every other country is a panacea either.

@TheignT I absolutely agree. I’ve had excellent experience of the NHS and I’ve had a LOT of experience of it. I’ve also been a carer for DS and then for DH and had lots of support. The same applies to various relatives in different areas. It’s not completely perfect, my recent ENT experience was hard work but, at the same time, I had two other appointments and was out before the actual start time!

I'm glad it's not just me. I see so much negativity about the NHS that I sometimes feel confused about my own experience.

Oh, I do. I visit regularly, still have many family and friends in the U.K., and my sister is an NHS doctor (and even she says the system is broken).

Nope, not negative. Realistic.
I briefly returned to the U.K. for work for 4 months in 2020. The NHS treated my then nearly 2yo fabulously (meningitis jabs for variants that aren’t routinely available in EU countries, and they did his 2-year check) and it still doesn’t outweigh the fact that QOL is better elsewhere in Europe.
People do generally pay higher taxes in the EU, yes. However, they don’t mind on the whole because they actually see where it goes.

Were you and your child actually entitled to NHS care when you don't live here? I suppose the NHS would have more money if people didn't arrive here and expect treatment that isn't available in the country where they live.

Just looked it up and no you weren't entitled as you aren't settled here after living abroad for 17 years. How nice for you that you took advantage of our broken system.

From which EU country?

OP - do you speak French? Be careful where in Canada you move to if you don’t.

I know a lot of UK citizens who no longer live in the UK or who moved for a few years then
moved back.

The successful moves have been those who have moved to somewhere, not just focussed on moving from somewhere. Those who have integrated, spoken the language and not limited themselves to the expat community for their community. This is particularly important as you age, many countries have an assumption that family will do care. You won’t have that.

Yes I thought this as well. Thought you had to be “normally resident” to use the NHS. For a 4 month stay should have paid privately and/or had insurance for non emergency treatment. We do need more checks and controls on access to the NHS.

Yes allowing freeloaders to come and abuse the. NHS is one area where they are failing. I don't begrudge anyone emergency treatment but coming and using vaccinations and health checks is a cheeky.

I wonder if the NHS doctor sister has facilitated this

I don’t think it matters, as far as I am aware it gives us the right to live in any of them. Could be wrong though as have never investigated it.

I was living and working in the UK at the time, yes. I was there continuously for 6 months (from July to December, starting work in September). My sister had nothing to do with my access to care (and for what it's worth I actually accessed nothing for myself - I only registered my small child in case something went wrong with him.) and it is utterly offensive to suggest that she did. Doctors never intervene in medical matters pertaining to their own family; they would be breaking various professional codes of practice if they did. I worked and paid tax during the time when I was in the UK, so I consider your comment to be unfounded and rude.

No you said you were here for 4 months. Bit late to change it when you are challenged. As for rude I think it's rude to be running down the UK while using our NHS to get vaccinations for your child that you can't get where you actually live. Maybe the QOL wouldn't be so good without the protection those vaccinations gave.

Sick of people knocking life here.

Yes as you say, my understanding of “ordinarily resident” would be that one’s main residence (or only residence for most people!) is in the UK. When someone actually lives abroad and only come for a visit, be that 4 months or 6 months, my understanding is that they don’t/shouldn’t qualify. But it’s down to the NHS to tighten up the processes around access as at the moment it’s clearly too easy for people who actually live overseas to access it. And maybe the “qualification” requirements are not as clear as they should be.

No kids and still in our 30s but we are also looking at leaving. Would you qualify for a golden visa somewhere? Would you be working still? What kind of situation are you looking for? I only ask bc I've done a lot of research on the subject recently and lived in 4 diff countries in 4 diff parts of the world so I'm a seasoned expat.

Yeah, aren't most churches turned into food courts or flats, like they should be?

Appreciate what exactly? Please tell me what is so good about the UK that makes the high taxes, crumbling infrastructure, services and housing market so totally worth staying here?

Exactly. That is really not the immigrant mentality, wherever they come from. It really takes a certain kind of person to able to be able to just pick up and do that and laziness or being unproductive are rarely one of their character traits.

I like it here and wouldn't want to live anywhere else. We've had many crises, including recessions, housing problems, unemployment and goodness knows what before, it's nothing new. So have and do other countries. Life is ups and downs, we make the most of the ups and weather the downs. We are a lot more fortunate that many. I could go abroad and maybe have a better lifestyle economically and a bigger house but the chances are in a few years that country would be in crisis.

It's pleasant here and it's home.

Well for starters I can put my kids to bed this evening with full tummies and without the fear of a bomb coming through the roof overnight, which is not the case for many thousands around the world tonight.

If any of us get seriously ill we can see a doctor that same night. OK we'll be waiting for some time but we would be seen, helped and given medicine if needed. Again, see above.

If we can't afford to put food on the table, or my kids need additional support at school, or my parents need assessing for elderly care, or we lost our home and had nowhere safe for our toddler to sleep, there are services/networks/avenues that can help. Again, see above. Not all countries can say the same including some extremely wealthy ones.

I'm far from a bloody patriot but i genuinely don't know how anyone can look at the news atm and complain the UK is hell on earth.

@Emilysmum90 but you can do that in Netherlands, Spain, Germany, Denmark, France , depending ‘if’ you have the right to reside or ability to obtain right to reside - many other places - the choice isn’t UK or Syria .