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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I need to have my high conflict ex agree one day at nursery?

2 replies

BookArt55 · 10/07/2025 18:04

I know you need permission for school choice or to change schools from the coparent, but do you need it to change nursery? Due to funding and the current nursery change which I've just been told about, I'm struggling to see how I afford it. I've been counting down until September for the last 18months thinking I would be better off. But now I won't be if she remains 4 days at the current nursery... long story.

So I can keep our 3 year old at the current nursery x3 days a week (currently does 4 days), 1 day with me, and the extra day at a nursery attached to a primary school. Coparent would still pick up and drop off to the same nursery, the new nursery would be solely on my day.

Dad has kids every weekend and one midweek night every other week (3/14).

It would be good for our 3 year old as they wear uniform, visit the primary school, just a little more grown up. Plus the nursery is a linked with two primary schools, one of which her older sibling attends so will meet people potentially in her school class next year.

But high conflict coparent is never going to agree just because... I have no hope.

But if I don't sort something I am financially screwed for the next year. Legal debt being the biggest issue.

Any advice?

Do I need dad's permission?

OP posts:
HuskyNew · 10/07/2025 23:00

I don’t think you do. It’s your day, doesn’t impact him at all.
it’s not the same as changing schools. It’s just a new setting.
would he even know?

BookArt55 · 11/07/2025 05:50

@HuskyNew thanks for this. I think the kids would tell him, so I feel like I would probably have to notify him. But I know the backlash i will get through the app and how he takes it out on the kids, won't be nice.
I have a lives with order, which I think helps me with this type of thing.

OP posts:
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