“Most employers won’t let you WFH and look after children”

[choochoowah]

Is this actually the case? I know some must have this policy but my husbands certainly doesn’t: they don’t know or care what he does in the day as long as the work gets done (he works from home twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays.)

WFH isn’t an option in my job so I don’t know. I’m just wondering how common this is as an actual policy.

Agree, I occasionally have to do pick up (normally do drop off before work) but I used my lunch to collect ds today and as a 14 year old was no bother to me - I then worked till 7 to get extra work done (easier to work extra in the absence of a commute)

Wfh with age 10+ at home, I can see how that’s possible (I wfh once a week and if my teenagers are around then they know I’m busy working in our home office so won’t disturb me). Wfh with toddlers/preschoolers - absolutely impossible and you’re either neglecting the job, the children or both.

I think it depends on the child and the workplace (what they find acceptable or not). For me, I never would entertain the idea. I had a highly fussy newborn and toddler. I think if I had tried to work from home and look after a small child I would have failed miserably on both.

If DC was older (school-aged) I feel this is slightly different and I can understand the odd occasion where the kid is at home because they unwell and the parent working.

One sort of annoying thing I found is one mum I worked with let her 6 year old twin DCs go on camera during meetings and talk to her. She would answer back and forget what she was saying or where the meeting was at. She had options for caring too (tons of family on hand for support). The children would sometimes screech loud (playing noises) in the background. I found her approach unprofessional because it was happening on so many occasions. Yet she got a high level management role.

There's no specific policy in my workplace or DH's- the expectation is we're not taking the piss. DD is 5, DH pops out to pick her up at 3:15, some nights she goes straight back out to an activity, but if not, I get her a snack and a drink and she mostly occupies herself until we finish work at 5. A couple of times she's been home all day and it's definitely impacted on our work. It wouldn't be sustainable to have a young child at home all day whilst WFH imo, not fair on them or your employer.

Once or twice, my daughter's been home sick from school and she's popped up in Zoom meetings next to me, but if she tries to talk to me I just say I'm in a meeting and she has to wait. As it's so infrequent and my team is pretty laid back, normally they say hello and tell her how cute she is. I can imagine in a more formal business meeting it wouldn't be OK at all and if I'm delivering training or speaking to anyone external to my team I would be very careful to stop that happening.

We don’t care in my company . Unless a worker is constantly working under target we don’t care . It’s always been the case and it got even more enforced during and after Covid .

Mine don’t allow it full time but during half terms and when they are sick they are fine with me wfh with my kids (3&7)

Then why not bring the kids to work? If it’s not a full time job looking after child/children, then it should be fine to bring them to the workplace, for the whole shift.

There are actually standard rules for WFH which include things like equipment, hours, insurance etc…but this is the childcare information.

*Childcare arrangements
Employees who have childcare responsibilities must make their employers aware of their situation. It may be required for them to create an agreement towards a more flexible schedule. This could include:

• Working different hours to coincide with childcare or school pickup times
• Working part-time instead of full-time
• Being more flexible around impending deadlines

This same approach may also be required for those that are looking after someone who may be ill or an older relative. It is very important employers are there to help employees and support them. As remote working has brought on issues for many people across the country, so having a supportive manager is vital.

Does the workplace have their beds, playrooms, childproofed gated safe areas, all their toys, books etc?

My WFH set up had everything I needed to take care of my DD, play with her, feed her, manage her naps, supervise her independent play time and meet my work targets at the same time.

Just like parents at the weekend manage to do laundry, chores, grocery shopping, life admin, host guests, cooking, cleaning, gardening while taking care of their kids.

Depends on what the work is. If it can be done anytime or within certain hours

Dh works from home and is expected to not look after children. We now have a ten year old and recently if I have needed to nip out ten year old watch’s tv 4-5 while dh works but he doesn’t need anything. It wouldn’t work all day though. Unless you are a childminder or similar surely you can’t do a job properly while supervising children.

All staff are contracted to work 35 hours a week. No set times. Just get the work done.

I think we all got used to seeing each other’s pets/babies/kids/OH during COVID and nobody bats an eyelid now. It’s just normal in my world.

I noticed a PP who also works for a charity had a similar experience so maybe it’s sectoral. I don’t have kids at home any longer as am old, so I have no skin in the game. I still think it’s fine. I will admit to getting more enjoyment from dogs and cats than babies though!! 😂

She needs to pay for nursery (or holiday clubs due to age) like the rest of us! I wouldn’t be able to have my full attention on work and a toddler or primary school aged child. No one is able to. She’s slacking off work.

As someone who has a large team - I am absolutely happy to receive flexible working requests and consider them. E.g. if someone want to finish at 3 twice a week to do the school run, I will look at their request, consider how they can make up the hours and whether there is sensible cover in their team for those hours should anything urgent come up.

What I won't tolerate are people who don't talk to their manager about it and just do it on the sly.

WFH isn’t in my contract, but I have worked from home since Covid. I had a baby in 2024 and he goes to nursery on my working days. I could not do my job with him there - he needs full attention and would just try and play with my laptop.

It’s not allowed at my work. I’d to jump on a video call this week - during my holidays. I explained I’d my kids at home (hence the holidays) but in another room with partner watching them. I was told I needed to have my camera on but the person I’d a call with refused to turn there one on - they were actually working as opposed to me giving up time during my holidays. They declared they WFH on that day & don’t turn their camera on. There was background noise - kids in the background. This is absolutely not allowed at my work.

I find it impossible to WFH when my children are around. I was lucky enough to be able to change my hours to working hours. I am hybrid and go in for meetings etc so it wouldn’t work anyway.

Exactly, I've said yes to requests to go out for brunch, or get hair done mid morning and all sorts of flexibility

The key is being honest and open about it

It’s in many contracts but whether you can get away with it or not probably depends on whether you have lots of virtual meetings, or whether you just manage your own time and work. It obviously depends on the age of the child too.

One point to make "hearing children in the background" doesn't mean there isn't another adult there supervising them

There are plenty of threads on here from sahms etc feeling stressed trying to keep their children quiet when their DH WFH.

And sometimes I WFH and DH looks after the children. I have my own study, they are older children, and he usually takes them out for a chunk of each day. But when they are in the house they still make noise!

She’s slacking on work and on caring for her 5 year old. Poor kid must be bored and lonely, and would be far better off in child care. 5 year olds need engaging with properly, not leaving to their own devices all day.

But she is allowed so she will carry on, she says “ why should I pay for childcare when I’m allowed to look after him while working” so there is no incentive for her to put him in an after school club etc

I’m quite surprised at some of these answers. Especially as during Covid we were all told just to suck it up.

I have a teen and a 10 year old. I work mornings so I generally don’t need to do this. But I do work for the occasional afternoon team meeting or if I need to work later do extra to complete a project. I can do this perfectly fine with a 10yo.

I work in the dining room and the 10yo just stays in the living room next door, glass doors so I can see him and watches tv. He knows he mustn’t disturb me if I’m in a meeting.

School holidays I use annual leave, holiday club or his dad or brother are here to look after him. But I can manage the odd morning wfh. Or if he’s off school sick I can manage. I literally set him up with snacks/packed lunch, quiet activities and the tv and you wouldn’t know he was there.

I actually find that there are more disturbances from my teen or husband and I have to be really firm with them to get I’m working.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to wfh with a baby/toddler or very small child unless it’s an emergency.

My work offers flexi-time so I log the hours that I do. As long as I work my 36 hours a week, I can flex around both caring and childcare responsibilities. However, I am very transparent with it and some laugh at how pedantic I am with it: if I nip away for 5-10 mins, I always log it on my flexi-sheet, and I clearly block out times in my calendar for school run, appointments, dropping off at activities, etc. This is open to abuse though, and there have been people pulled up on it (including 1 disciplinary/dismissal in my team). For those who follow the policy, fine. For those who try to abuse it, it can cause resentment amongst other staff members and distrust.