“Most employers won’t let you WFH and look after children”

[choochoowah]

Is this actually the case? I know some must have this policy but my husbands certainly doesn’t: they don’t know or care what he does in the day as long as the work gets done (he works from home twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays.)

WFH isn’t an option in my job so I don’t know. I’m just wondering how common this is as an actual policy.

Well no, not if it impedes your ability to do your job. A 14 year old who can entertain themselves and just needs an adult present in the house is one thing, a three year old is another matter.

Watching a sick kid would be fine??

Eh yeah?
Many people with remotely flexible or understanding employers can and do work from home for a day or two when their child is too sick for school. Usually an ill child is just resting in the sofa all day.

Thanks for answers. I was genuinely just interested.

DS is four and a half and will be picked up from school twice a week by DH until I get home around half four, so about an hour. I can quite see a full day wouldn’t be great and not would you get anything done with a toddler (we also have a two year old) but I guess that’s the point, work would slacken if that was the case. Nothing explicit in the policy though.

It used to be a rule at my work but after covid when we went WFH full time they changed it, they saw that the adults they employ were able to sensibly manage their lives and jobs. They also knocked core hours on the head at the same time too, we can work whatever hours suit as long as the work is done and KPIs are met.

Saying that though 'sensibly manage' is the important part, it wouldn't be sensible to look after a baby/toddler full time whilst trying to do a full time job simultaneously. It's more about juggling school aged kids who can occupy themselves for a bit when work needs to be done, and not having to be chained to your desk when the kids need something.

I can completely ignore my (pre teen & teen) kids if i'm on a call, with a muted mic and a perfected poker face, you can't/shouldn't ignore a baby/toddler.

Massive difference between a kid in high school and a toddler.
A small child and working all day borders on neglect

Well obviously it depends on the age of the child and how sick they were. I worked from home last time my 10 year old was sick. She had vomited the night before so couldn't go to school but was feeling a lot better so didn't need constant care. She happily watched TV for a bit and then came and sat with me and did some drawing while I worked. She was far less of a distraction than the colleague I share an office with who never stops talking for a second and has to give a running commentary on everything she does!

If she had been really unwell or a few years younger I would have taken the day off.

I work in local government and it’s in our contact that childcare must be used if you are wfh with children under 10. In practice, a day or two wfh with an ill child is fine, and most people appreciate the flexibility and don’t take advantage.

Unless an emergency then no. You can't work to the same level if you're also looking after your child. I work from home and spend a fortune on holidays camps but know some people keep their kids off during holidays at home, it's really annoying. Working from home is already a great perk. Why push it!

I find it wild personally that people do this but mine are 3 and 1 so it would be logistically and physically impossible to work whilst looking after them. What do you do if you have meetings? I mean, my role is quite meeting heavy and involves presenting to clients a lot, so it would just not be possible in any practical sense.

As everyone else says, it depends on age.
And IMO, how often you’re doing it. An older kid once in a while is fine but I think it would be unfair to them if it was allll holidays and they weren’t old enough to get themselves out and about.

It’s mostly at manager’s discretion where I work. An 8yo off sick from school for the day is fine. Looking after a toddler all day every day to save on childcare costs is not

WFH with under 6s - impossible. With 6-10s possible, but a bit harsh on them if they get very little attention all day. 10+ they should be fine to entertain themselves for several days but harsh on them if they have to do it al summer.

Maybe DS is an anomaly but he seems fine to entertain himself for an hour or so. I wouldn’t expect the whole day but still I wouldn’t call it impossible.

If your DH worked at my company he could absolutely do that, he would just need to block an hour or two out on his calendar/maybe put his internal out of office on, with a note to say when he'll be back online, and do what he needs to get done before pick up and/or when you get home.

You wouldn’t take your young children into work with you, so why would you think it’s acceptable to WFH with no child care?

Sorry OP but I think 4 is too young for this. Can your DP arrange to have a break at that time and work later in the evening to make up the time? We have done similar when unavoidable (e.g. when I got a puncture and couldn't make it to school in time my husband stepped in) but I wouldn't do it regularly. I know a few people who do but I don't think it's on personally. I know I wouldn't be able to fully focus on work with a 4 year old in the house. And I don't think it's fair on the child either.

My kids would be fine from age 6/7 upwards. We often pick them up, then continue to work (even the 4 year old is ok if he can ask his big bro for stuff). But that’s immediately after school and not everyday. I wouldn’t do it in the school holidays - the 4 year old would be bored stiff.

’usually’…. Hmm ok then

Depends entirely on the circumstances of your role and culture of your organisation. Some of my team who are client facing need to be available between 9 - 5, so it would be totally inappropriate for them to be caring for their young children during working hours.

Other members of the team have more flexibility and could potentially work outside of core hours but this would be the exception rather than the rule.

We pay emergency parental leave so it isn't really an issue. Older children are a different matter - in general they are pretty self sufficient.

Fundamentally you are being paid to do a job, if you are looking after children while you should be working then its highly likely you're not meeting your obligations to your employer.

Think mine says no to under 8's. I've had the occasional having to pick up when I've got a couple of hours left due to sickness. I'm honest and say if I can't work then I make up the hours that evening. Our company treat us like adults, if you need to WFH for a delivery then do so. Have an emergency childcare issue talk to us and we'll sort out your hours etc.

I've managed to beg borrow and steal childcare this holiday as DS is term time at pre school and nowhere takes under4s. I have a just turned 16 year old cousin sitting in on some days. I'm paying her to stop the kids from murdering each other, I'll feed them at lunchtime and know that they are safe in the house whilst I work.

You may find that if your DH looked deeper there is a policy on it. Lots of people fly under the radar by doing it occasionally and not making a huge deal out of it but if it starts affecting your work there will be consequences

My employers know I WFH and look after DC but are fine with it because I get everything done efficiently.

One of my coworkers is often wearing his baby in a carrier whilst working and in meetings. Nobody bats an eyelid.

It’s just been added to our hybrid working document. Occasional emergency childcare is fine but regular is not. You are expected to have childcare the same as when in the office.

OP, I think your DH’s situation is really unusual. Maybe because he is part-time (or at home part-time). Does he do something where he doesn’t receive calls or have meetings?