Childless houseguests-AIBU to keep my child quiet and out of the way?

[StressedHost]

If you have houseguests without children, that like to have sleep-ins and a quiet house, long meals etc., do you minimize all disruption caused by you child (ren) and adapt your schedule to those of the guests? Or do you go on with your life as usual?
I don't know what is the right thing to do and had a fight with DH over it. Essentially, I think it is basic kindness towards the guests to not disturb their sleep and quiet, and I'm aware that children of other people can be quite annoying, especially if you are childless and not used to the noise levels etc. DH thinks we owe them nothing, since they invited themselves and were aware that they were going to stay in a household with a young child.

For context, the guests are neither friends nor family. It is a former colleague that I know quite well, but am not particularly friends with, and her boyfriend, whom we had never met before he came to stay at our house. They sort of invited themselves for a few long weekends over the summer, because we live in a quite touristy, but expensive city. They are here to do sightseeing/going to events in our city, not to spend time with us. They stay for free obviously, but buy some of their groceries (special things they need due to intolerances).

We have a spare room/office, but our flat is quite small. And unfortunately the spare room is right beside the kitchen/living area, so they could certainly hear us getting up at the crack of dawn with our DC. DC is a typical 6YO, not particularly badly behaved, but will talk loudly, jump or run. DC is also awake latest at 6:30 am.
We have the first weekend behind us, and it was stressful. Especially keeping DC quiet from 6 am until 10 am (when the guests finally decided to get up) was hard. I tried to play as quietly as possible with DC in their room while feeding them only cookies for breakfast, to avoid noise in the kitchen (had no coffee myself as well until 10 am, because of our noisy coffee maker).
The guests are otherwise quite nice people-clean, tidy and did not complain about DC or the noise so far.

YANBU=Yes, it is basic kindness to keep your DC quiet. You agreed to the visits, so you have to do your best to keep the guests comfortable.

YABU=They invited themselves and were aware of the DC before coming, go on with your life as normal.

We will not agree to further visits by this couple (beyond the ones that are already planned), and probably stick with inviting only close friends or family until DC is older. So it is a lesson learned.

I don't have kids, if I am visiting friends or family with kids I wouldn't expect them to hide away or silence their kids. Just let things be how they normally are!

This is absolute madness.

Someone ask if they could stay at your home free of charge, then they bought along another guest that you’d never met before and then you’re hurrying out of your home with your children to give them peace!

Here you are:

Dear [acquaintance],

Your request to stay further nights at our house is noted.

Having consulted with my husband, and carefully considered the matter, I refer you to the response given in Arkell v. Pressdram.

Yours sincerely,
…

Is that ‘diplomatic’ enough?

She's a CF and she has the measure of you, a total doormat.

For goodness sake text her that something has come up and it no longer suits you.

Your poor family.

I’d just cancel the further visits , tell them that you’ve had to take in a family member so won’t be able to have them now if you don’t want to be honest .

It's wonderful that our DC has suddenly developed an interest in music...his rendition of "Londons Burning" on the recorder at 3am really is something special. We can still host, but you might need earplugs...
^Try this. 😉

You're not a parental figure to them.

You're the pushover who provides them free lodging at the expense of your resentful husband and your poor son who can't even get a decent breakfast and is punished by having to stay out of the common area

You aren't single. This isn't just your house. You brought in an adult male who is a complete stranger into your child's home.

Why are you treating a rude coworker and a stranger better than you own family?

Well more fool you. Want to stay in my house? You need to fit in with our lives.

Yes be considerate at like 6am but this just sounds bonkers. But are you absolutely sure they were actually looking at you that way or were you just projecting your discomfort on to them?

You need to let them have the full child experience, in fact up it a bit, send the little one in to visit them nice and early with a musical instrument.

They might decide to cancel future visits. Fingers crossed.

I'd keep any running around, jumping and shouting to a minimum until probably 8am ish. Other than that, no. Life as normal would continue.

I clocked you are being unreasonable purely on the basis that you letting them stay is unreasonable when one is a former colleague and you don't know the partner. That's bonkers

I would tell her, you agreed to letting her stay for a couple of nights but you and H felt uncomfortable with an unknown male staying and it was too much of a strain keeping your child quiet. That you and H feel you can’t extend your hospitality for any future requests.

If this is not a reverse, or made up, then you need to grow a pair.

’I’m sorry that doesn’t work for us-I hope you get somewhere booked’ is a complete sentence.

So a child has to change their behaviour in their own home when fully grown adults do whatever the hell they like.

wrong fred. oops.

If I was too much of a wet lettuce to tell someone I barely know or like that they can't stay at mine for free, I sincerely hope I would be able to muster up enough passive-aggression to do some loud DIY or something. Give that child a saucepan and a wooden spoon!

I think you just live your normal life. They are getting free accommodation and if they want a different ‘ambience’ then they should go elsewhere

Very bizarre to allow them to stay in your flat when you barely know them, let alone trying to keep your kids out of their way. Just say no.

@StressedHost We can help you.

Tell us what you would like to happen - even if you think you will be coming across as rude to these CFers.

At the moment you are wringing your hands with no action. We can help you find your words without negative ramifications on your standing in your industry.

I've nothing to say about the children/etiquette issue, because I can't get past the fact that you've got people staying who you're not friends with or related to, who invited themselves, who move the goalposts about the terms of the stay and who do things like booking tickets before they've even asked you if they can come.

I think it’s a balance, 6am - 10am is too much.
I think being quiet before 8am is reasonable.

But If it’s an inconvenience (based on the first weekend being stressful!) you do need to say you can’t let them stay again.

They are cheeky fuckers.
Cancel any further stays.
Who invites themselves to colleagues homes for holiday weekends?
I can't believe you are this gullible.

You have two single, unencumbered, employed adults that you are bending over backwards to accommodate. I really think you should contact them and state clearly that while it was lovely to have them visit recently/last time, you’re afraid that it really didn’t work for your young family and you will have to ask them to book to stay elsewhere. It’s not as if they need to cancel flights etc - they can book a hotel/BnB or go elsewhere.

You do not need to feel obliged to have them back again in order to maintain the relationship… would your ex colleague be coming to visit you if you lived in Grimsby or a Birmingham suburb? Does she ask you to come and visit her? If you feel the answer to that is no, then you know they are simply making use of your location for a cheap holiday.

@Thulpelly completely disagree.

They are not guests. They are CFs in OP's tiny flat. In no way should OP change any of her normal lifestyle to facilitate their FREE lodging.

If a 6 YO wakes up at 5:30am it is bloody ridiculous to try to keep them quiet for 2 and a half hours.