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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No prospect of any time off over summer but I need it

124 replies

Nicmars · 10/07/2025 06:42

I work on team of 5 people and the annual leave chart is already booked up for summer and there is no prospect of me being allowed to book any leave.
I jooined this team from another department 2 months ago, by which time colleagues on new team has already booked their summer leave.
Issue is that I need time off, even if just 1 week. Its for childcare, I'm not going away on holiday or anything. Just childcare. The general attitude at work is tough luck, not their problem.
So I'm left with no choice but to consider pulling a sickie. To make it believable it's need to start my sickness before school is out for the summer, rather than the same day or week. What kind of sickness can I have? Ideally to last a week maybe 2. Just till my sister can get here (she's travelling till 2nd week of August but has offered to come and help when back). Need a plausible sickness idea that doesn't sound too cliche or made up.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 10/07/2025 09:24

Grammarnut · 10/07/2025 08:37

You need to talk to line manager and make it clear you need to take summer leave. It is unreasonable for your employer to move you and then say you cannot now take leave during the summer because it is all booked up in your dept. What if you had booked a holiday? They are being unreasonable.

The OP never said her employer moved her.

And she had previously booked annual leave and subsequently cancelled it.

RhaenysRocks · 10/07/2025 09:37

Two posters have now have referenced her husband or the other parent taking leave. Given the entire absence of mention of such a person in the OP I would assume that he is absent or dead. I hope so...if it is the case that the child's dad is on the scene then absolutely he should be factored in....but according to one pp, men are far more reliable so he can't possibly be expected to let HIS employer down. I'm assuming, like so many women, the OP is on her own with this while the "dad" is free to climb the career ladder unimpeded while the OP gets slated on here.

MaraB77 · 10/07/2025 09:37

I'm sure I've seen this exact same post before. I'd arrange holiday clubs for this time if you can. Look for the cheapest available, ask on the school whatsapp maybe if anyone can help with drop offs and pick ups if they have a child going the same day. It is clear in the long term your elderly parents can no longer manage the kids, which is fair enough. In future book every other school holiday as soon as you are allowed to book them, up to your maximum leave limit. As clubs become available for booking, look for the cheapest possible, book them and then start cancelling those days of leave. It requires a lot of organisation and it isn't ideal but is really the only way to manage it.

itstartedinthepeaks · 10/07/2025 09:38

I’d honestly like to know what the OP should do, given that we have to assume there’s no partner in the picture and no holiday clubs etc available (of course you can look but they might be full.)

What should she do - resign?

itstartedinthepeaks · 10/07/2025 09:39

And I know round here holiday clubs are only open 10-2, which I’m not sure is much use for a standard working day!

SameOldMe · 10/07/2025 09:40
  • You could request unpaid parents leave, but it might be refused unless it's an emergency.
  • Try your local gyms, they often have reasonably priced childcare options
MemorableTrenchcoat · 10/07/2025 09:40

Nicmars · 10/07/2025 07:02

I had originally booked leave but then grandparents stepped in to offer childcare. So I cancelled it and the slot was meanwhile snapped up by somebody else on the team. Fast forward to last week, grandparents childcare offer was rescinded as they've got their own complex health issues and on 2bd thoughts said childcare would be too much for them. So I'm back to square one.

Quite a dripfeed there! You had the time off, and you gave it away!

MaraB77 · 10/07/2025 09:53

itstartedinthepeaks · 10/07/2025 09:38

I’d honestly like to know what the OP should do, given that we have to assume there’s no partner in the picture and no holiday clubs etc available (of course you can look but they might be full.)

What should she do - resign?

If she has absolutely exhausted every option, holiday clubs full, and no other childcare, then her choices are a) look for another job (probably not enough time) b)resign with no job to go to ( could leave her homeless as well) c) leave the kids home alone (possibly endangering them) or d) pull a sickie. I realise d) might be the only option but despite what is says on her original post I can't believe the OP really needs advice on how to pull a sickie. It's honestly not difficult to fake a number of conditions if you use your imagination.

MifsBr0wn · 10/07/2025 09:57

Be careful , you’re new to the job and you pull an obvious sickie. You’d be “managed out “where I work.

RhaenysRocks · 10/07/2025 09:57

itstartedinthepeaks · 10/07/2025 09:39

And I know round here holiday clubs are only open 10-2, which I’m not sure is much use for a standard working day!

Its very area dependent..in my area a private school runs them 8-6 but all the OP can do is look. There are some really snide people on here "pay for it like the rest of us" as though none of them would use a family option if it had been offered.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 10/07/2025 09:58

itstartedinthepeaks · 10/07/2025 09:38

I’d honestly like to know what the OP should do, given that we have to assume there’s no partner in the picture and no holiday clubs etc available (of course you can look but they might be full.)

What should she do - resign?

Well, she’ll have to risk pulling a sickie but the likelihood is that she’ll get caught and pulled up for it.

SUPerSaver721 · 10/07/2025 10:00

What do you do for childcare through the week? If you use a childminder book her over the summer or is their day nursery's that will take them or clubs they can go to?

ilovesooty · 10/07/2025 10:00

MaraB77 · 10/07/2025 09:53

If she has absolutely exhausted every option, holiday clubs full, and no other childcare, then her choices are a) look for another job (probably not enough time) b)resign with no job to go to ( could leave her homeless as well) c) leave the kids home alone (possibly endangering them) or d) pull a sickie. I realise d) might be the only option but despite what is says on her original post I can't believe the OP really needs advice on how to pull a sickie. It's honestly not difficult to fake a number of conditions if you use your imagination.

Or ask for unpaid leave.

diddl · 10/07/2025 10:02

Well hindsight is of course great, but if the GPs have complex health care issues maybe accepting their offer of childcare was always going to be risky?

How old are the kids?

Any older teens locally who could do it?

ilovesooty · 10/07/2025 10:03

I sounds as though she wants too long off to self certify. Would "pulling a sickie" involve asking the GP to provide a note for an invented condition?

DurinsBane · 10/07/2025 10:21

HollyGolightly4 · 10/07/2025 06:42

Isn't this what parental leave is for?

they can still turn down a parental leave request though if business needs warrant it

snowmichael · 10/07/2025 10:22

Did you have booked leave before you moved departments?
If so, insist (politely) that it's honoured
If not ... tough
Others booked first
Book next year's summer leave now

Fluffyblackcat7 · 10/07/2025 10:26

HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2025 07:28

When you're complaining about women being disadvantaged in the workplace, remember this thread. This scenario is entirely the OP's fault. She hasn't booked any leave and suddenly she is blaming her company and plans to take a couple of weeks sick leave. A couple of weeks! This is not only dishonest, it leaves her colleagues in the shit as they will have to pick up her work while she is having fun with her kids getting fully paid. The OP and the number of people supporting her are a good indicator of why men can sometimes be favoured over women because, quite frankly, women can be unreliable. This is living proof. Most women aren't, most women are grown ups and responsible adults that would ensure they have childcare in place. It is of course unfair that women are screwed over as it is the minority. But it is not enough of a minority to make it insignificant.

I assume this OP is a troll as nobody is this stupid and it is a very goady post. But that doesn't matter, it puts ideas in people's heads. It draws out the irresponsible and tarnishes the reputation of women.

What misogynistic claptrap!

It's the fathers that can never be relied upon to step up and cover their share of childcare in the holidays that are unreliable.

She's been put in a very difficult situation because grandparents have had to pull their offer of childcare due to ill health and you've replied with a post attacking women in the workplace in general? Well, with regard to understanding and problem solving/useful advice, you're pretty unreliable yourself!

If you don't have anything useful to say, jog on!

OP, have a word with your manager to see if they can help.

Maybe ask colleagues, friends and family their childcare plans. Could your kid(s) tag along with different families on different days? I have taken a friend's kid on the odd day out in similar circumstances.

Check our your local council for a holiday club. Look at special interest camps like football/rugby if that appeals.

Last resort, a childminder. Some will have spaces while their usual clients are away on holiday.

Good luck!

Stormroses · 10/07/2025 10:26

Nicmars · 10/07/2025 07:02

I had originally booked leave but then grandparents stepped in to offer childcare. So I cancelled it and the slot was meanwhile snapped up by somebody else on the team. Fast forward to last week, grandparents childcare offer was rescinded as they've got their own complex health issues and on 2bd thoughts said childcare would be too much for them. So I'm back to square one.

You need to explain this to your work. Say that your childcare cover has been cancelled due to illness and you can't find reliable cover at such short notice.

It is bloody ridiculous that the CoL means families need two incomes to survive and yet childcare is not properly taken into consideration in this country.

Sunshineonthewater · 10/07/2025 10:43

HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2025 07:28

When you're complaining about women being disadvantaged in the workplace, remember this thread. This scenario is entirely the OP's fault. She hasn't booked any leave and suddenly she is blaming her company and plans to take a couple of weeks sick leave. A couple of weeks! This is not only dishonest, it leaves her colleagues in the shit as they will have to pick up her work while she is having fun with her kids getting fully paid. The OP and the number of people supporting her are a good indicator of why men can sometimes be favoured over women because, quite frankly, women can be unreliable. This is living proof. Most women aren't, most women are grown ups and responsible adults that would ensure they have childcare in place. It is of course unfair that women are screwed over as it is the minority. But it is not enough of a minority to make it insignificant.

I assume this OP is a troll as nobody is this stupid and it is a very goady post. But that doesn't matter, it puts ideas in people's heads. It draws out the irresponsible and tarnishes the reputation of women.

I think that’s pretty unfair because you have not taken Daddy into account. What’s he done to prevent/resolve the situation. Why is it on women to sort out the childcare?

ThatsNotMyTeen · 10/07/2025 10:46

So you did have leave, but cancelled it. Do you not want any time off in the holidays, irrespective of if you need it for childcare?

Cucy · 10/07/2025 10:49

Look into holiday clubs and then ask for flexible working around these hours.

Be honest and say what you’ve said on here.

Worst comes to worse you’ll have to just tell them that you cannot come in and that you’ll need to take it unpaid.
But it may result in a disciplinary.

Going forward, I would not rely on grandparents and book leave in plenty of time.

Rememberwhatthedoorknobsaid · 10/07/2025 11:08

Utterly repugnant that people think it is acceptable to just “pull a sickie.” Nobody remotely professional would even consider this. I hope you get found out and disciplined.

HerVagestyTheQueef · 10/07/2025 11:09

HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2025 07:28

When you're complaining about women being disadvantaged in the workplace, remember this thread. This scenario is entirely the OP's fault. She hasn't booked any leave and suddenly she is blaming her company and plans to take a couple of weeks sick leave. A couple of weeks! This is not only dishonest, it leaves her colleagues in the shit as they will have to pick up her work while she is having fun with her kids getting fully paid. The OP and the number of people supporting her are a good indicator of why men can sometimes be favoured over women because, quite frankly, women can be unreliable. This is living proof. Most women aren't, most women are grown ups and responsible adults that would ensure they have childcare in place. It is of course unfair that women are screwed over as it is the minority. But it is not enough of a minority to make it insignificant.

I assume this OP is a troll as nobody is this stupid and it is a very goady post. But that doesn't matter, it puts ideas in people's heads. It draws out the irresponsible and tarnishes the reputation of women.

Been long time since I've read such unguarded woman hate on here.
If you think childcare is the sole responsibility of mothers then frankly you're in the wrong century.
Women can be unreliable? So can men. My plumber never turned up last week because he had to collect his son when football practice was cancelled; my mobile tyre man came a day late a couple of weeks ago having taken on too much work the day before.
Why the fuck is this child's father off the hook? This is not "entirely" OPs fault.

And no, OP's predicament - or any one-off apochryphal example - is not "proof" of anything pertaining to women in general.
Can only assume you're a troll as nobody is this stupid.
Bore off with your misogyny.

OP, explore holiday clubs, friends (even if they take turns), flexible hours, WFH,whatever you can. Don't pull a sickie it'll backfire. Worst case scenario you come clean and tell them.
I don't envy working parents, school holidays are a nightmare. That's why I became a teacher!!!

TouchOfSilverShampoo · 10/07/2025 11:15

I don’t see how @HoskinsChoiceis being viewed as women-hate and misogynistic?!! She’s pointing out the sad fucking reality of life for working women.

And the Ops been a fool, making it harder for women by pulling sickies, probably won’t come back and won’t consider paid childcare like any normal person with this issue.