No prospect of any time off over summer but I need it

[Nicmars]

I work on team of 5 people and the annual leave chart is already booked up for summer and there is no prospect of me being allowed to book any leave.
I jooined this team from another department 2 months ago, by which time colleagues on new team has already booked their summer leave.
Issue is that I need time off, even if just 1 week. Its for childcare, I'm not going away on holiday or anything. Just childcare. The general attitude at work is tough luck, not their problem.
So I'm left with no choice but to consider pulling a sickie. To make it believable it's need to start my sickness before school is out for the summer, rather than the same day or week. What kind of sickness can I have? Ideally to last a week maybe 2. Just till my sister can get here (she's travelling till 2nd week of August but has offered to come and help when back). Need a plausible sickness idea that doesn't sound too cliche or made up.

Ask for emergency parental leave. If that isn't possible ask for unpaid leave. If they say no sort other childcare for your child. Don't pull a sickie. Firstly because it they find out you could be in trouble. Secondly because if you do happen to get quite sick soon, even just with a run of winter bugs or something, using sick leave could take you to the amount of leave where they have to investigate it, that isn't a nice process, especially when some of your leave was used for the wrong purpose.

If leave is refused and you are unable to find another childcare solution (or you find one but it falls through) then you would still be able to take dependant emergency leave at short notice. It is unpaid and you should only take off a "reasonable" amount of time. So not ideal but it would be much better to do this than take a sickie, which could be treated as gross misconduct if it was discovered (as it is a dishonesty offence).

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Do not fake sickness. It is immoral and unfair on your new team.You set a terrible example to your kids, and feed the narrative that mothers are too flakey to employ.

If these reasons are too unselfish for you, think about how it will backfire. Your tem will be suspicious/not trust you (good start) and resent picking up your work. When you actually ARE sick at some point in the future, you risk accruing too much absence, or you will risk no one believing you and building more resentment.

Tell the truth to your manager. Try to find solutions. Try to deal with the issue as a professional adult.

Yeah this is where you have an issue! You cancelled it so they’re not obliged to honor it. Speak to your manager and tell them of your situation and say you have no alternative. They have to be flexible

Parental leave needs to be approved and can be declined just as annual leave (but alternative date needs to be offered). If AL won't be approved over the school hols, so won't parental leave.

If you pull a sickie the week you have requested they will smell a rat big time, do you actually want this job?

I would instead be looking for alternative childcare and perhaps persuade them to let you take 2 days maybe

And that’s why people are suspicious of those genuinely struggling with mental health

So you cancelled leave? And now you’re considering fraudulently taking sick leave?

Completely unreasonable.

They really don’t have to be flexible
If there is no capacity for you to have annual leave I can’t see them giving you parental leave

why is standard childcare not an option? what are you doing all the other weeks over the school hols. I would try to arrange a holiday club or so.

Realistically your options are find alternative childcare, explain the issue and hope there is some flexibility, risk taking sick leave but honestly I would not do this.

OP who do you work for?
is it a public sector / civil service role?

I wish people wouldn’t encourage shit like this.

What about holiday clubs, sports camps or approaching parents of their friends for some help? You could offer to have their kids in a different holiday when you can get time off.

What's the paid holiday clubs situation like locally, Op?

Can you not book a holiday club?

Or you could just organise paid childcare like 90% of other working families.

Emergency leave is for emergencies and is usually a day or two max.

Parental leave has to be approved.

Do you have the ability to WFH?

I hope your parents are ok.

I'd speak to my manager about the situation and request parental leave or some variety of special paid leave. Push the ill parents aspect to get the point across that you're not taking the mickey and that you don't have a choice.

I'm assuming that there's no dad on the scene or is he already taking leave?

I feel like a fucking mug working in a role where I have to depend on reliable, costly and daily childcare so I can show up to work and give 100%.

I would be fucking livid if a new colleagues poor planning meant I was shouldering not only the cost AND the stress of picking up their work.

MN always do this; order people to use parental leave. It isn’t as simple as that. They do have to grant it but it’s on their terms - you can’t just announce you’re using it on dates X-Y.

If you’ve no other choice I’d say injury to back or similar. Ideally no one would lie but sometimes you’re put in a position where you have no other choice.

I think you are better off being honest.

I joined this team from another department 2 months ago, by which time colleagues on new team has already booked their summer leave.

Your OP is misleading as you refer to the summer being booked up two months ago when you joined the team but you then say you had childcare arrangements that fell through last week:

Fast forward to last week, grandparents childcare offer was rescinded

Have you tried explaining the probably to your manager? Is there a prospect of another person being off?

I'm not sure what the solution is but this is the second post I've seen like this, this week, and women taking time off sick cannot be the solution. Your GPs were wrong to simply change their minds about childcare. If they cannot do it due to health then fair enough but otherwise can you explain you now cannot request leave and ask that they have them this time?

Has it occurred to you that if you invent sickness in order to get the time off, some of your colleagues might have their planned leave cancelled?