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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being married is… actually really nice?

60 replies

BeCalmWasp · 09/07/2025 19:26

I feel like there’s a lot of cynicism around marriage: the jokes, the warnings, the “ball and chain” stuff. But honestly? I find it comforting, grounding, and just quietly lovely.

AIBU to think being married is still something worth wanting, not just for tradition but for how it can feel?

OP posts:
raysofhope · 09/07/2025 19:28

Yes - when both parties are committed and loving towards the other.

junkmaail · 09/07/2025 19:33

Being married to the right person is fab.

User37482 · 09/07/2025 19:34

Yup, we are pretty happy, I think very few people feel the need to comment on a happy contended marriage.

FullyLined · 09/07/2025 19:34

Same here, love it and took his name happily without children to consider. It’s just cosy.

tuvamoodyson · 09/07/2025 19:35

Yes…it’s the best thing I’ve ever done!

LittleCosette · 09/07/2025 19:35

I love being married! I love it!

user1476613140 · 09/07/2025 19:36

I agree. It's just the best feeling in the world. I love being in a partnership with DH.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 09/07/2025 19:39

I've been with my husband for 16 years. We have a house and a DC together. I think "quietly lovely" is a very good description. There's not much wild, emotional romance or grand gestures any more. Just choosing each other every day, doing little things, hugging and snuggling, tugging our DC into bed together and telling him that we both love him - and telling each other the same. Living and continuing to build our lives together, every day and in all the little things we do, choices we make, conversations we have and hugs and kisses shared. It does feel comforting and grounding. And safe and loving. My life would make for an extremely boring tv show - just the way I want it.

WorkerBee123 · 09/07/2025 19:44

I agree. Marriage rocks!

tsmainsqueeze · 09/07/2025 19:44

I think i would have been fine on my own but i'm very glad i met and married my husband, i like the feeling of security and knowing he's always on my side.

PermanentTemporary · 09/07/2025 19:46

Yeah I mostly liked being married and when it’s good it’s the absolute best.

Zuert · 09/07/2025 19:50

PermanentTemporary · 09/07/2025 19:46

Yeah I mostly liked being married and when it’s good it’s the absolute best.

This. When it’s good, it’s very very good. And when it is bad it is horrid

BeachPossum · 09/07/2025 19:50

You hear about a lot of truly terrible marriages on MN, but for me, yes - it's wonderful. It enhances my life and sustains me in every way. I get to do every difficult, beautiful, happy, awful, exciting, sad, dull, wonderful day with my dearest and most beloved husband beside me. I wouldn't change it for the world.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 09/07/2025 19:55

Love being married. Known DH for 30 years, together for 28, married for 21.

Luckyingame · 09/07/2025 19:56

Yes, it's cosy, as a PP said. Especially if you marry to make your already good life better.

S1K1PPSO · 09/07/2025 19:57

Of course, it's lovely being married to my dh. I knew it would be, but I didn't know how much and for how long ❤️

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 09/07/2025 19:58

Love my marriage, adore my husband! Been together almost 20 years and can count on one hand the number of arguments we have had and only 2 of those were "serious" meaning we actually shouted at each other.

Finding someone you feel so connected to is wonderful, I took his name without hesitation and never worried at all that he would leave me high and dry when I became a SAHM for 10 years.

I feel so sad when people struggle in awful marriages.

ImAPreMadonna · 09/07/2025 19:59

It’s worth wanting if it’s something you want.

SpikeGilesSandwich · 09/07/2025 20:04

Depends who you married I guess. I think I’d prefer the kind of marriage where you have separate houses.

GroovyChick87 · 09/07/2025 20:04

Yes I love being married. I have been a single mum too and I was doing ok and happyish, but I love knowing at the end of every day that I'm going home to someone I love and who loves me. He is my best friend who I can relax with and be myself around, but my sexy lover too.

Praying4Peace · 09/07/2025 20:11

Lovely to hear such lovely messages and that there are such happily married people about.
I've never been married and raised my son alone. Can't imagine having someone to look after me or share parenthood with.
I'm not complaining at all.
I've learnt always been very independent and worked for everything and built a lot of resilience along the way.
I have friends and family who are in happy and unhappy marriages.
Lovely when it all works out

myturf · 09/07/2025 20:20

I wasn't expecting it to feel any different, we'd been together a while before we actually got married. But I really like it and it surprised me, the way it kind of enhanced the feeling of being a unit.

Hollowvoice · 09/07/2025 20:21

Marriage is great with the right person. I got it wrong first time.

lifesalive · 09/07/2025 21:02

I've had a couple of long term relationships, and none have ever led to marriage. It is a huge regret for me. I just seem to be the type of woman that doesn't inspire men to do romantic gestures. Its a huge regret and point of pain to me now, at this stage in my life that my boyfriend isn't thinking about marriage. I'd love to have the feeling that this is it, and we're now tackling life together.

I am not prepared to start again, I'm too old, and too tired. Just disappointed.

Giddykiddy · 09/07/2025 21:10

Had a long marriage before (19years) which ended badly - the last 5 were terrible. I've been with my second DH for 17 years - he is a wonderful partner and we are very happy