To think being married is… actually really nice?

[BeCalmWasp]

I feel like there’s a lot of cynicism around marriage: the jokes, the warnings, the “ball and chain” stuff. But honestly? I find it comforting, grounding, and just quietly lovely.

AIBU to think being married is still something worth wanting, not just for tradition but for how it can feel?

I agree. Being married is wonderful. We have loads of friends in happy marriages too, it’s the norm in our circle.

Yes I truly love it

I enjoyed being free, but found marriage to be so loving, comforting and brings me a great deal of happiness for so many decades. I don’t usually say so, as I don’t want to appear smug.

Me too! And the kind of marriage where you're not married ☺️

Lovely thread. I enjoy the stability, grounded feeling and commitment from marriage. Quietly lovely is a perfect summary (for those in loving and equal marriages)

I agree. We’ve been together for over 20 years and got married 9 years ago. I thought it wouldn’t make any difference but once married, it did somehow feel different. I enjoy the fact we have officially ‘joined’ our lives together.

Yep. If you have the right spouse I am positive it would be nice.

I do love living alone!

Yes I agree. Been married 30 years now. I’m sure we annoy each other now and then but we are still best friends, do everything together, and love hanging out with our adult children. He has always put us first and has been a solid partner and a brilliant dad. He’s my absolute rock.

It’s nice til it’s not

It is great if you are happy, But you only need to read the hundreds of threads on mumsnet where relationships have broken down. So it is not all sugar and spice.

I’m sure it must be wonderful when you’re with the right person, pretty hellish when you're not.

I find my DH annoying in some ways, we are very different people, but I have realised I have a tendency to be controlling about small things and it irritates me that he pushes back, albeit gently.

Ultimately, I enjoy being married. It’s secure and comforting and can be a lot of fun.

That's the most brilliant typo 😂

The best part of my day is snuggling up in bed with my husband and waking up in his arms. When we snuggle we fit completely together. I then breathe out and relax completely. He nestles into me and I’m home. I’m his home, his refuge and he is my safe harbour.

I think being in a committed relationship is lovely. I don’t see being married as important at all.

If it’s to the right person. I’m on my second. The first was 2 awful years with a narcissistic abuser. The second is the best thing that’s ever happened, bar the son that’s resulted from it.

I absolutely love marriage,
Even in ye olden days when love wasn’t necessarily a factor, to know that someone else has just implicitly got your back and vice versa, when actually it’s all about just working together as a team to raise your kids and keep food on the table and a roof over your heads. Whatever may happen, in the dead of night it’s you two in the same bed. That you can’t testify against each other (possibly urban myth, or no longer law, but I love it anyway), because there’s no way one would betray the other

I actually love the idea of the teamwork and the in-it-forever element more than the romantic.

This is exactly how I felt before I got married - and what a waste of time and money planning a wedding is too. But then we got married and I just loved it. I still do. I love being settled. I love the consistency. I love that we made a commitment to be with each other for the rest of our lives. It’s just magic. I love being me with him. GOD he’s so lucky how much I love him 😆

Nothing wrong with wanting it. And nothing wrong with not wanting it. Either is ok.

20 years in and it just gets better. I love being married.

This^

Definitely. I made a much better choice the second time and it’s bloody brilliant.

I’d never known loneliness like being in a shit marriage with an arse. But married to my best friend in the world, who still gives me butterflies, knows me better than anyone ever has, who shares my hopes, fears and dreams, is the best. Lovely thread OP.

Well if this person behaves like you described and committed to the team work it’s fab. But I’m afraid a lot of women don’t get such an amazing supportive picture otherwise why we have so many divorces.

My ex husband wasn’t perfect. Far from it towards the end but yes i liked the feeling of being married and the comfort and stability it gave me. Even now a couple of years after divorce I miss that feeling most. Not him so much just having a person. Someone who knew me who I’d had a shared history with. I won’t have that with anyone else I don’t think