Just normal politeness at the dentist is all I am asking for

[MsMarch]

DS is having private orthodontic treatment as the waiting list for NHS treatment is too long. This should NOT be relevant, but I admit, the insane amount of money it's costing us is probably impacting how I feel about this.

The reception staff are so incredibly unfriendly and unhelpful and it's really starting to wind me up. They don't say hello. If you ask a question they either look at you blankly or start to do it, but refuse to actually say anything. eg I asked if we could set up the next appointment and she didn't even look up. By the clicking, I assumed she was looking at the calendar. But after about 20 seconds of silence and no eye contact I had to say, "sorry, are you looking for an appointment" and she was quite snippy in her "yes, we're very busy".

When I took DS in this week I had to drop him as there'd been road works and we were late so I told him to tell them I was just parking the car. When I came in, buzzed to be let in. Waited. Waited. Waited. When I finally go tin, three staff in reception, 2 on the actual desk, so I admit, I was already a bit confused why I had to wait but anyway. I see DS isn't in the waiting area so I say, "Hi", in preparation to ask where he is, and they both just sit there, continuing to look at their computers. So after a few seconds, I'm like, "HIIIIIIII" and they look up, all confused and say, "we were just busy with something".

It's INFURIATING.

And the woman who did his braces was great so I have no complaints, but I won't lie, I would have lied to have been told that the actual orthodontist is NOT the person who would be doing it, but instead it would be a "therapist".

Am I just being ridiculously precious? I'm really getting very annoyed. DH had a similarly unpleasant experience while trying to set up the appointment in the first place.

They’re ride because clumsy has nothing to do with it.

Be polite, because it’s the right thing to do and what they’re paid for.

If you don’t like that element of the job, find something else to do.

But if all the staff operate like this, then surely this style of communication was a management choice, not an individual staff one.

In any case, I would say that if you don't like and especially because it is an expensive clinic, vote with your feed and your wallet. You can also complain if that is what you want to do.

Maybe, it's also because I am not from the UK. I am mainland Europe and I am used to this style of communication. Few people here would find it rude.

This could well be true. I’m a dental nurse and the thing most commented on (reviews) is how friendly and helpful the staff are.
We work in a great practice with a brilliant manager and are all very happy to be there!
But I know other dental nurses at other practices working in terrible environments, it must be nigh on impossible to put on a happy face working there!!

When you are in a customer facing role, in a service position, it’s customary to acknowledge someone when they address you. Or at least look at them.

The first thing I’d have done would be to mention it to the orthodontist and,I might wait till the end of treatment, but I would definitely write a detailed complaint and suggest their front facing staff might benefit from some customer service training.

This is hilarious, I do something similar. Full on hyper camp pass-agg.

I’d love to know if this is in Chipping Norton as your experience is very similar to the one I’ve had there. Great dentists, unhelpful receptionists.

So mid treatment you start elsewhere? No thanks.

Yes I’ll complain and yes I’ll demand they acknowledge are are not rude to me.

if they can’t do their job properly because of management choice, get another job.

Politeness costs nothing, no matter what.

Communication is the key, they’re not communicating.

You have to tell the doctor or dentist if their receptionist is like that. I told my doctor about his receptionist who was always on her phone when she was meant to be dealing with patients- and no, it wasn't part of her job.

Two of my kids are at different orthodontists and you’re so right! One is a bit worse than the other but none of them are friendly or polite. I thought it was because we’re NHS referred and not private. They don’t want to have to deal with us riff raff who they are required to take on to meet quotas?

It doesn't have to be mid-treatment. You can complete the treatment and then go elsewhere.

I thought it was currently hard to get a new job in the UK. If this is the case, then switching jobs because of bad management may not be an option right now.

If politeness costs nothing, then neither does waiting a few minutes. I don't understand why people are so impatient these days and demand immediately acknowledgement when a person is occupied doing something else.

I really think the general attitude on this threat to what is at worst poor communication is overblown. Just chill a little and take life at its pace.

There are lots of people desperate for work who are capable of looking up when a service user appears, smiling and saying ‘Morning, I will be with you in just a second thanks.’ It’s not hard. Treating patients or anyone like dirt on your shoe or an inconvenience is unacceptable and pretty stupid.

I was at a nail bar in an upmarket department store yesterday and watched as a well dressed smiley lady appeared at the counter to be first ignored by an apparently free member of staff, then, as she turned to leave to receive a curt ‘yeh?’ She responded ‘I think you mean morning Madam, may I help you?’! Quite right too.

You would expect SOME acknowledgement though. To not even make eye contact or say anything at all is just strange.

They sound incredibly rude and I'd be mentioning it to the manager.

Brief eye contact and verbal acknowledgement is all that's required. It is rude to do less than the bare minimum when you're dealing with people - get a different job if you find pleasantries too difficult to keep up for a whole working day.

It is madness to think this is acceptable!

My daughter’s orthodontist clinic was awful.

I look very young and feel like he was beyond rude whenever my daughter was having adjustments. The receptionists weren’t so bad but he was horrendous. One time I snapped because he was so rude and talking badly like we weren’t in the room so I said hold on a moment and let rip.

Funnily enough they lost all funding and closed down part way through her treatment. The one she moved to were brilliant and made so many improvements to her treatment.

Do you expect them to attend to you straight away whenever you go up to the desk?

It is absolutely reasonable to expect a person dealing with face to face requests to say something to let you know they're aware you're there and are speaking to them - "Let me just finish with this and I'll have a look. Are there any days that would be better for you, or that I should avoid?" Or if they're on the phone when you approach to look at you and nod/smile to acknowledge you. You get better results all round if you communicate. That isn't a matter of opinion or preference, surely.

I was an incredibly shy and socially awkward/anxious teen but my first job was as a cashier in the USA - it was probably one of the best things for me!

I had no choice but to interact politely and professionally with lots of strangers because it IS just common courtesy (especially when you’re giving them money in exchange for a service or product!). It was really difficult for the first few months and then it eventually became second nature.

To a large extent, I’m still very socially awkward/anxious but find interacting in professional environments or well-defined roles (like shops, hair appointments, etc) MUCH easier than purely social situations.

When Im in this sort of situation I always stand and wait until they notice me, then I say Hi. Saying Hi and assuming they will respond immediately is pretty rude imho - cos actually they most likely are in the middle of something.
At my work when I ask a question of another colleague I always wait until they've finished doing whatever it was they were already doing. But other colleagues on wanting me.............mostly assume they will immediately get my attention! Which I find really rude and annoying. Just wait a moment - then Im all yours lol

YANBU, a smile and a bit of friendliness costs nothing but does SO much good. Literally the best example of small effort/no cost = huge positive outcome in life.

I must be very lucky as I have been taking my grand daughter to an orthodentist for over 2 years, on the NHS - they do private as well. But the receptionist has been nothing but kindness and friendly from the word go. Always has a few words for for us. It seems a shame not all people can get such good service.

This actually reminded me of how odd I find it at my dentist that when I arrive they never say hello and just sit there staring at the computer while I wait awkwardly - just a quick “I’ll be with you in a minute” would be much more polite and other places manage it

No, I deserve politeness without having to change provider, I’ll stand my ground until I get it.

Not sure why you think it’s hard to get a job in the UK at the moment.

I’ll wait a few mins, if I’m acknowledged politely, takes a second for that to be done.

Im not being “not chill” but I don’t accept rudeness, it costs not a penny to be polite.

You are in the vast minority, which is good.