Took a sick day as I'm burnt out

[Henrietta1000]

I work between 44-50 hours a week which I know isn't even as much as some people on here must do, however working 6 days a week is draining.
I have no children so I know it could be worse, but I'm fed up. So I've called in sick today, luckily my last sick day was a year ago and it's not a job where they'll be short staffed.
I'm in the Civil Service as an AO. Whilst I enjoy the role, an AO salary is not great for a person living alone..I've applied for 3 EO roles but have come to understand how unbelievably slow they are. I sent 2 of my applications 3 months ago and still waiting to hear if I have an interview!
So I've currently got a second weekend/evening job. There's no guaranteed overtime in my civil service role, it used to be unlimited now it's capped.

I'm a qualified teacher, but gave up trying to get a job. I'm in languages, was turning up to interviews with 5 others and failing every time, got put on a support plan in one so resigned, or just not getting interviews. So I did supply, which was fine and paid better but I wanted something permanent and stable.

Please do not tell me it's worth it because of the pension, when you have a low salary and are quite young, you're obviously not going to put up with that for 30 years!
I've had a very productive day so far, cleaning my home and tidying, also just catching up on TV.
It's hard sometimes! I went to a hen the other week and all of my schoolfriends are now band 7 or 8 NHS, manager of xyz, and I'm in an entry level admin job despite going to uni.
6 days a week isn't sustainable much longer!
It's not even an AIBU, just a rant. Even EO roles are very competitive, I'm so fed up.

"Entitled"... says it all really.

Your friends who are doing well are taking responsibility, meanwhile you are "entitled".

For one day ?? And OP is getting paid sick pay ? Thats a bit off too

OP, AIBU has become a toxic and quite aggressive thread and this is another example of women attacking women for sharing their life stressors and seeking emotional support or constructive solutions. I hope you feel better after a break.

You are! There are call centre jobs regularly, I looked at one recently but didn’t take it due to the pay

https://www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi?SID=cGFnZWNsYXNzPUpvYnMmb3duZXI9NTA3MDAwMCZ1c2Vyc2VhcmNoY29udGV4dD0xNDA2NzcwMDYmb3duZXJ0eXBlPWZhaXImam9ibGlzdF92aWV3X3ZhYz0xOTU5OTAwJnBhZ2VhY3Rpb249dmlld3ZhY2J5am9ibGlzdCZzZWFyY2hzb3J0PWNsb3Npbmcmc2VhcmNocGFnZT0xJnJlcXNpZz0xNzUxOTc1Mjk2LTIwOWY1Nzc2MDg1YmVjNjZiOTNkYTBjZTEwMGIwZTM2ZDc3NjkwOTM=

On the OP, I wouldn't have voted that you were unreasonable. I did vote you were being unreasonable after reading your responses.

Oh yeah, I'll just get another one, that's not at all what the been trying to do for months.
If you are constantly not getting jobs you are applying for, then perhaps it is time to look at what it is about your applications that is the problem.

I can see this thread was a mistake. The sheer anger and bitterness coming from people who want a certificate for never taking a day off, ever. Life doesn't work like that. Stop taking out your anger on what other people do.
You have been angry the entire thread from the start. And bitter. Nobody owes you a living, nobody owes you a job. And you aren't the only person early in their career (nor indeed late in their career) who has had to work long hours or work two jobs. Perhaps if you quite feeling so sorry for yourself and seeing everyone and everything else as the cause of your problems, then you might figure out why you are struggling to get the job you want.

This isn’t great OP. It suggests your lifestyle isn’t sustainable. Or that you hate your job.

Don’t waste time blaming yourself but do think about how to change things. You’re still young but you want to get yourself back on track. Obvious options are:

• continue applying for jobs which pay more as the main role (for example have you accessed all of the soft skills training you can, could you get a mentor, would your boss proof read applications?) so you can give up your second job;
• consider a return to the private sector or capitalising on your SEN experience to get a sideways permanent move;
• cut back on expenses so you can give up second job anyway;
• cut back on your socialising so you have more time to relax at home;
• think about other areas of your life, like whether you’re eating well, taking exercise etc.

Think of this as a one off which you don’t want to get into the habit of repeating.

As an AO why are you working 55-60 hours. If it's for the o/time fair enough but if you're burnt out because of it then it's your own fault.

If you can't afford to live on an AO salary then look for another job although be warned salaries for the same level in the private sector aren't dramatically better and can be more demanding.

Just as a side note if you've been doing o/ time and are now off sick don't be surprised if your line manager has something to say, especially if you make a practice of it. It won't go unnoticed.

I do feel for you OP. You don't have to be a parent to have a stressful life! Sounds like you've been trying all sorts to get out of your current position.

I don't really have much advice but as you have a history of teaching and you currently work with children have you considered a role within young adult education? A friend of mine works as a teacher for a small company who teach young adults - school leaver age up to 25 I think, and they all have additional needs, mostly ADHD, ASD - and she loves it.

There are seemingly lots of these college type facilities that are government funded so it might be worth looking into that? Just an idea. I do hope you find your way out of your current situation.

I had a very difficult AO job considering applications on a very complicated scheme, to the point where my tiny team of AOs had to work directly with policy. Plus side we all got promoted because we had EO level competencies.

Not all AO jobs are easy.

Don't worry about it. You'll get no more appreciation or thanks if you keep going as you are and burn out to the point where you're struggling to function.

I think your mindset is due to comparing yourself to your friends. Speaking from experience , misery lies that way.

The only person to compare against is, yourself. Are you doing better than you were? Where can you improve? You don't need anyone to validate your self worth.

Obviously you do want to get paid more though - just keep going. Set yourself a goal- in 12 months time I want to have an xx role. Work towards it in a targeted way. Learn from every application and interview.

Career wise, become a technical expert in a particular area that has longevity.

I don’t know what to tell you… I’ve never done it and never will! 😇

Why on earth are you working that much as an AO?? I’m an SEO and I work my contracted hours and no more. Channel your inner Veronika (look up the skits on YouTube if you haven’t seen them)

This thread is grim. Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves kicking someone who’s down and suffering from poor mental health. As for people saying her life sounds simple - what the actual fuck? Have you ever had mental health issues or more accurately, have you got even the slightest ounce of empathy? First of all, MH does not discriminate. At all. And second, OP’s life does sound very stressful with very long hours and at minimum wage. She can take a sick day if she feels burned out. Burn out is mental and of course you can cook, clean, go for a walk, whatever when you are off work with it. That’s literally how you recover and cleaning can bring about a mental health boost.
She isn’t even being paid sick pay for her day off. You horrible horrible people.

She is sick though. Or are you claiming to have never had a day off sick ever in which case wow that’s nice for you that you’ve never been so ill that you can’t go to work. Almost everyone else has though.

Is encouraging OP to do this in her third choice of employment, a temporary role with little employment protection likely to improve her life or is she self sabotaging and setting a tone for the rest of her life?

It's possible to feel burnt out and still able to perform socially from time-to-time. Working 6 days per week, particularly if you don't love it, is not ideal; you just don't get a chance to recharge your batteries.

My advice to you, if you'd still like to go for an EO role, is to try to get a mentor from that level or above.

Good luck!

To be fair, the very first response she received was quite spiteful.

Why pretend to be sick? Why not book a day of annual leave like the rest of us? It isn't your employers fault that you have two jobs and have taken on too much.

You sound really stressed. I have been in a similar situation working in a call centre albeit not for the civil service and having a summer second job too. It's draining.
I also went to uni and trained in languages and only had one role where it was of use.
It took me to the age of 38 to attain professional qualifications which give me a salary boost (even now I think I'm underpaid).
I went to work in financial services. (FA etc) It is one of the few industries where you can build on qualifications and use a lot of transferable skills. You can get paid to work towards qualifications and there is a lot of WFH available. I've learnt to not compare yourself with others though. Everyone has their own journey.
Good luck and enjoy your day off.

Schools are crying out for language teachers where I am (Dorset) - maybe you need to consider relocating?

She’s taking one day off for poor mental health. Since when does “pull your socks up” work as a strategy to improve mental health anyway? Insulting people and telling them it’s their own fault they cant get a job isn’t the motivator you think it is.

I needed to read this thread. Did the exact same thing today. Not even because of hours or workload but because of a toxic atmosphere from 2-3 colleagues in my immediate team who are causing a lot of trouble. Sometimes you just need it. Keep going, the right thing will come up either here or externally. Don't rush and jump from the frying pan into the fire, wait for the right opportunity. I felt a lot better when I mentally told myself that one way or another I won't still be working there in 2026.

I am in the SCS, and three things spring to mind.

1. full time hours on modernised T&Cs are capped at 37 and you are entitled to flexi leave. Use your flexi & take back control of your hours. I would not allow anyone in my team to regularly work those hours, at that grade, without a review of their workload, objectives & time management practices.
2. burn out is a legitimate reason for taking a sick day. You should be honest with your line manager as to the reason, and if it remains an issue seek an Occupational Health assessment.
3. with regards to applying for roles on promotion. Application scores are important to know if your behaviours are reaching the required level. The timescales are quite slow, but you can contact CSJ for an update on the progress of your application.

She’s an agency worker so she isn’t getting paid for today. OP Didn't make that clear in her first post