Took a sick day as I'm burnt out

[Henrietta1000]

I work between 44-50 hours a week which I know isn't even as much as some people on here must do, however working 6 days a week is draining.
I have no children so I know it could be worse, but I'm fed up. So I've called in sick today, luckily my last sick day was a year ago and it's not a job where they'll be short staffed.
I'm in the Civil Service as an AO. Whilst I enjoy the role, an AO salary is not great for a person living alone..I've applied for 3 EO roles but have come to understand how unbelievably slow they are. I sent 2 of my applications 3 months ago and still waiting to hear if I have an interview!
So I've currently got a second weekend/evening job. There's no guaranteed overtime in my civil service role, it used to be unlimited now it's capped.

I'm a qualified teacher, but gave up trying to get a job. I'm in languages, was turning up to interviews with 5 others and failing every time, got put on a support plan in one so resigned, or just not getting interviews. So I did supply, which was fine and paid better but I wanted something permanent and stable.

Please do not tell me it's worth it because of the pension, when you have a low salary and are quite young, you're obviously not going to put up with that for 30 years!
I've had a very productive day so far, cleaning my home and tidying, also just catching up on TV.
It's hard sometimes! I went to a hen the other week and all of my schoolfriends are now band 7 or 8 NHS, manager of xyz, and I'm in an entry level admin job despite going to uni.
6 days a week isn't sustainable much longer!
It's not even an AIBU, just a rant. Even EO roles are very competitive, I'm so fed up.

Have you ever had burnout or anxiety or other mental health issues? Because I can assure you you very much can clean your house and doing so is likely to make you feel much better than lying in bed.
The OP mentioned going to a hen do the other week. So not today on her sick day. Again I would ask if you’ve ever suffered any of the issues mentioned above. Because you sound like an idiot.

Hello OP - I’ve read your posts but not the full thread.

I’ve been around in the civil service for a long time, and wanted to pass on a few thoughts.

Firstly, taking a sick day for poor mental health (which is what burnout is) is totally legitimate, so don’t worry about that.

secondly, I think from what you’ve said that you’re a temp, rather than a civil service employee (ie not even a civil servant on a fixed term contract?). If that’s the case, then sympathies, as it can be hard to access the opportunities for development and learning in the CS as a temp. I would encourage you to access whatever you can, however - training, shadowing people, literally anything. It helps to get a sense of what opportunities there are. You can also reach out to people and ask for a quick mentoring chat and ask them about their career journey (this feels awkward but it’s actually pretty flattering and most people like it and will make time).

finally, I’ve got a couple of ex-teachers in my team. No idea if they were any good as teachers but they bring amazing skills that aren’t necessarily common across the civil service, especially at junior grades - confident communication and presenting, and being really good at chairing meetings and ‘running’ a group, to name just a few. So don’t sell yourself short - I’m sure you have lots to offer. Very best of luck with it all.

The reality of being a Civil Servant is you are just a number. I don’t mean what you do is unimportant but loyalty is very much one way. I don’t think one sick day a year is unreasonable & can understand why you may need a day to catch up at home & recharge. Enjoy the rest of your day

This sounds really crappy and that is far too many working hours for one human being. You're heading for burn-out if you stay on this course. It would have to be something you love to keep doing that!

Have you thought about trying to get a career mentor? I'm thinking either someone senior in the civil service who could give you some really good current career advice, or an outsider who will look at your whole life. Have you discussed your frustrations with your line manager? If yes, what kind of response did you get?

And enjoy your day! And take another...who is only genuinely sick for one day anyway :D

Especially ones with an attitude as bad as the OP, who sounds utterly useless so I’m not surprised is struggling to find anything.

also who on earth told you there is progression in a contact centre…there ends up being potentially 100s of people and every now and again 1 manager role will come up that pays barely anything extra and is given to the ‘yes men (or women)’

I'm ex civil service. Went from EO to HEO and from what i saw you either fly up the bands to SEO or you can't jump more than two bands. Unless your face fits. My colleague went from EO to grade 6 in four years. Because dad was head of department. Everyone else moved up one or two bands max. Just my observation.

Another option was to be spectacularly shit at your job and you'd be promoted out as no one ever wants to sack anyone. You give glowing reviews to get rid

Psychologist here. Ignore the spiteful, idiotic comments about cleaning, hen party etc. You’re burnt out from WORK. These people have clearly never had a burnout or any MH issues. Take care of yourself. X

@Boromirsgreyhound there are some limited views on Mumsnet that's for sure

I have no idea what an AO and EO are.
But you don’t have any children OP, and you haven’t mentioned ANYTHING stressful or time-consuming aside from work, which we all have - so I think YABVU. I’m not sure how you’d cope if you had children

Also if you’re a temp worker, you might as well be earning more in supply teaching

Thanks! Didn't realise you were only referring to the public sector 😊

This.
I had severe burnout. Ended up sectioned.
If we poo blood, or have a lump... we are told to get help. But seeing the start of a potential MH issue... put it off and get on with your life.
Believe me, you can do that until you can't.

Sorry I’m a muggle - what’s AO and what’s EO?

Dick comment.

Are you being serious? You don’t think working two jobs and working well in excess of a normal working week could be stressful? Is having children the only thing that could be difficult in someone’s life? Imagine the outrage if a mum said she was feeling stressed and someone popped up and told her to get a grip because she only works part time and there’s not ANYTHING stressful in her life.

@Glowingupwhy would someone tell a mum that there’s nothing stressful in her life? Kids are inherently stressful. OP does not have any, she just has a job like the rest of us, granted long hours.

If you read my post properly, I never said she had nothing stressful in her life - simply that she didnt have anything stressful “aside from work, which we all have”.

going to a social event is better for her mental health.

Oh piss off. I was so burnt out I was in hospital. Used my leave to go home and clean my house.

Perhaps if civil service pay wasn’t so shit she wouldn’t need a second job

What do you mean “like the rest of us”? You don’t do her job and jobs vary hugely depending on numerous factors. You do also realise that people tend to get burnout from work, not from having children (although that can lead to other MH issues). Lots of people would disagree that having kids is inherently stressful so the best thing is to not generalise. People get stressed by different things.

And “she has nothing stressful aside from work” yeah well duh it’s her work that’s stressing her out. Thats like saying “you have nothing physically wrong with you apart from a broken leg”. It also has nothing to do with whether you have children. I once worked with a man who had no kids and he jumped in front of a train one afternoon after work due to stress and depression brought on by work. You should educate yourself on burnout and stress because you clearly know nothing about it.

God, the replies on here! For some reason we have this obsession with working around the clock/putting in a hard day's work in this country (and as for those saying well I have kids blah blah, no sympathy at all- you CHOSE to have them, so piss off with your one upmanship saying you have it harder!). Guess what? Your employer wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, your employer and colleagues don't particularly care about you, you can work yourself to the bone and have nothing to show for it. Take as many days off as you please (i would) and ignore the nasty replies OP- they're probably all self-righteous martyrs with shit office jobs, mediocre husbands/partners, mortgages they can barely afford and annoying kids, yet they feel they have to "accept" their lot in life. A job is simply just that- a job.

Some people in this thread are vile
Mumsnet is no longer a supportive forum. It’s a place where keyboard warriors enjoy being vindictive.

Whilst I agree that OPs employer could not care less about her, I think you are somewhat misleading OP (an obviously young person) by telling her that the work shy have fabulous lives, great jobs and fabulous marriages. The truth is that of you do not work hard, you will struggle to find a decent salary and that will impact your marriage. Lots of us have great jobs with a fantastic work life balance, because we have put in the hours and hard work to build an impressive CV. Whilst in an ideal world there should be more empathisis on mental health the reality is that at the bottom there is not. Looking at the bigger picture, OP is struggling to find a job she would like, and taking off days to clean her house isn't going to help her in that respect or make any real difference to her mental health. You are simply lying to her if you tell her that it will.

Quite. This OP hasn't lasted 5 minutes in a job so far.

She gave up teaching after barely trying and was put on a performance plan in one role so she quit. That speaks volumes as to the quality of her work and the effort she puts in.

I'm in a top profession and let me tell you I put the hours in when I was in my twenties. My weekdays were nothing but being out of the house for up to fourteen hours. Id leave at 6am and be home at 8pm. Weekends were spent recovering from that. I had no time to myself and no time to pursue hobbies.

But you know what it paid off and now I earn a decent salary and have a good standard of living. I wouldn't have reached that good standard of living if I hadnt put the work in when in my twenties.

I would also disagree that mental health support is there higher up the chain. Employers have very little sympathy for those who can't carry out their role.

You are quite right in the saying that the workshy do not get far in life and they do not have everything fall into their laps for doing very little. If you want something in life, you have to work HARD for it. The op doesn't seem prepared to do that and needs days off to clean her house and relax.. More power to her but it's not going to get her far in life.

Anyone who says otherwise is mistaken.

they're probably all self-righteous martyrs with shit office jobs, mediocre husbands/partners, mortgages they can barely afford and annoying kids, yet they feel they have to "accept" their lot in life. A job is simply just that- a job.

And you're just nasty and jealous. The OP is the one with the shit office job which she has to accept as her lot in life because she couldn't make teaching work out.

Your university careers service may be able to help and may have agreements with other university careers services so you can use one local to where you're currently living.

There may be scope to get involved in stuff outside your immediate job role giving you more experiences to write about when applying for new roles.

There's a skill in civil service applications and interviews that's specific and probably learnable (I'm not very good at them).

Another option might be to move to a cheaper bit of the country where your salary might go further.