Child wrongly accused of gossiping about a parent by TA

[FireBreathingDragon]

Am I overreacting about this?

My ten year old has been bullied for a while by another girl who hits her, verbal insults etc. Teachers have told my daughter she needs to hit her back (which shows how bad the bullying is) but my daughter can’t / won’t as is very gentle natured. She’s the most placid kid and will not hurt anyone.

Yesterday at sports day the mother of this (bully) child claimed my daughter was gossiping about her, the mother?!! She told a teaching assistant that my daughter was even saying her name (totally impossible - we don’t even know the mother’s name). My daughter was pulled aside and given a talking to, asking what she was saying about the mother.

I wasn’t at the sports day so my daughter was outnumbered and totally bewildered as hadn’t been saying a word about that mother or any other. She’s totally, one hundred percent, telling the truth about this.

I feel the teaching assistant was wrong to even entertain this nonsense from the mother and should have calmed it down rather than pulling my child aside in front of the mother and questioning her with:

‘Do you know X’s mother’s name?’
’Why were you discussing her?’
’What were you saying?’

I went in all guns blazing with emails to
the staff member and teacher and want to make sure I am not overreacting. I am not placid like my daughter 🤭

Thanks for taking your time to read this.

The TA did nothing wrong. She is allowed to do her job and ask your dd if she was involved in something that shouldn’t have happened.

I understand that your interpretation of what the teacher had said is that your child should hit back, but I can assure you that is NOT what they are saying. No teacher would advocate hitting back.

You need to meet with the teacher/TA/Head and get to the bottom of what is going on and what was said at Sports Day. You should use the opportunity to get clarity on the ‘hit back’ confusion too.
Guns blazing will achieve absolutely nothing.
Calm and pragmatic will win the day.

Come on! The 2 trained professionals your DD has told about this BOTH independently told her to hit back?? That's before we even get started on the cock and bull story about the TA telling her off!