To think finding the time to lose weight is IMPOSSIBLE?!

[Fat40Unhappy]

Probably get roasted as I’ve posted here for traffic.

I’m about 3.5 stone overweight currently.

I’ve had a shit 3 and a half years. Had a baby, had PND, was doing a stressful degree which included placement, my sibling was diagnosed terminally ill and died last March, my relationship broke down and I’m now working full time in a stressful job with a toddler and I’m a single parent.

My working hours are changing soon to 8:45am to 6pm and I will have one non-working day per week.

I also have a serious mental health condition which requires medication which is very sedating, causes weight gain and makes it difficult to lose. This conditions impacts my sleep so I need to prioritise this to avoid getting ill.

I’m most likely peri-menopausal as well.

Normal day is get up about 7, get myself and toddler dressed, drop to nursery and head to work. I have a 20/30 minute drive depending on traffic. My mum picks toddler up every day after nursery so has them for 2 hours before I get home.

Get home say 6.30 with new hours and then have to feed toddler and myself, bathe toddler and do bed time. They go down about between 7.30-8.30pm. They still wake up 2/3 times per night and I end up in their bed beside them most nights. Broken sleep all week which kills me.

I feel so depressed, I look at myself and feel disgusted. But I don’t know how to organise my life to incorporate exercise and losing this significant amount of weight. I need some motivation and ideas.

TIA

A majority of weight loss comes down to what you’re eating. Plan your meals. Cook wholefoods, cook enough for 3-4 days then cook again for the rest of the week. Weigh your food if it helps with portion control. Excuses will keep you overweight. If you want to find time you will

I’m so sorry for your loss, it sounds like a really hard few years and you are doing well to be juggling it all.

I would park the idea of formal exercise for now and concentrate on eating well. I think when you’re super busy and stressed, the idea of fitting in exercise adds to the stress. If you can go for a walk at lunchtime, or with your toddler in the buggy at weekends, then that’s great x

Can you afford weight loss injections? They will really help. They just make losing weight easy and quick and have given me a lot of confidence. I know they aren’t right for everyone but do some research (lots of threads on Mumsnet) and you can offset the cost against food bill reductions. Just an idea. X

I might sound crazy but wearing spanx for me has been just as good as the weight loss injections. I don't feel hungry when they are on and have lost 6lb just from wearing them. I was a normal weight before so that 6lb was hard to lose.

Also as other posters have said, a lot of comes down to what you eat. Any chance of intermittent fasting? You'll save time too.

You have had a really tough time of it op, so first thing is not to beat yourself up about this.

I would agree with the advice already given. Nutrition drives 80% of weight loss, so focus on that in the first instance. Find out what your ballpark TDEE is (there are calculators online). Then work out a moderate deficit. No more than 500 calories. Prioritise protein (1g/Ib desired body weight). Carbs and fats make up the remaining calories. Track what you eat in an app like my fitness pal. It will take a while to get it right but it will become easier over time.

Any more movement you can fit in is a great start. A walk at lunchtime, maybe a longer walk on your non working day or weekends.

That’s where I would make a start and you will see some progress by doing those things. Other forms of exercise will come over time as you are able to give them the time and headspace.

I lose weight best through intermittent fasting and not snacking, which takes less time than eating frequently all day (for example I don't take lunch to work, I work 7:30-4:30 and eat 5pm-9pm).

BUT

Your life sounds incredibly stressful and you've been through bereavement and had a baby recently and are on medication. Give yourself a break.

If I'm honest I didn't get started sorting my health out until my youngest child was 9 (had also had a lot going on) and although I got to a healthy weight and fitness level another stressful period knocked me back and I slipped quite a bit for quite a while before getting my head straight again.

I feel better, healthier and stronger and fitter when I keep to an eating window and fast in between and avoid refined sugar, but it's easy when I'm feeling good and hard when I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed - like everything. Generally it's hard to make positive changes from a position of self loathing, so you actually give yourself a better chance if you can be nice to yourself and prioritise sleep and self care first - hard with a toddler of course.

Is the six day working week permanent? I don't think that's legal if it's every week! Unless you are self employed.

Fucking hell.

Exercise doesn"t make a lot of difference to our weight, it's mainly what we eat.

Focus on giving yourself a better diet, and make sure that you are consuming the right amount of calories, and your weight will soon be sorted.

Some people here are not very nice.

OP, I'm in a different situation - my son is 12 but autistic - also want to lose weight and be more active for other health reasons, but am finding it difficult. The disturbed/disrupted sleep on its own without other stresses makes it very difficult.

I don't have a neat answer, but I hope things improve for you.

Probably not what you're looking for at all but reading your post I just thought, wow you've been through a lot. A lot. And I thought, give yourself a break. Worry about the weight loss when your toddler is sleeping through the night. Though I find homemade soup is soothing and wholesome, sets me up for a healthy evening but still feels like cosy, filling comfort food.

Edit to add - on the soup, that's just if you want a v basic easy tip that works for me. I really do think you should be kind to yourself and rest as the priority. Your life sounds really full and busy at the moment. 💐

Have you tried recipe boxes like hello fresh/gousto? You can filter by healthier/quick cook meals so it takes the planning and prep out of it.
Something that works for me is “fasting windows”
so I try to limit my eating to between 10.30-6.30 which means I have a “brunch” then normal dinner with the family. Takes less time in the morning because I don’t have breakfast anymore!

Sorry you’ve had such a shit time.
As a start, buy lots of apples celery and carrots etc and munch them when you get hungry. You’ll be less inclined to eat junk and feel healthier and it’s quick to do.

I've lost 3.5 stone with Slimming World since about last November. It's about what you eat. I'd highly recommend it.

@Themomentsheknewshefkedup
If you want to find time you will

I hate this so much. No, this is not always possible. At the worst with my son, between his needs, appointments etc and trying to keep my job I was on the go for something like 15-16 hours a day, 8am until 11/midnight and then woken by him every two hours in the night. Eating was whatever was easiest and exercise was out of the question, what was I supposed to do at midnight?

You don't need to exercise to lose weight.
There are lots of reasons that losing weight is hard, but lack of time isn't one of them.

I can only imagine how sad your life is that you’re reduced to making such comments.

Weight loss is all about what you eat. Exercise accounts for such a small amount of it. Start by downloading a calorie counting app such as MyFitnessPal. Set it to lose 1lb a week. Track everything you eat and drink. Losing fat is about a calorie deficit, so calorie count accurately and you’ll be well on your way!!!!

I don’t think time is the problem here.

Have you considered weight loss injections?

I totally get you, but agree with others that it's about calories in, and exercise can help you have a couple of hundred calories more each day, but isn't essential. It's more about portion control and willpower - unless you can afford WLIs which would make life much easier.

My fitness pal is great for tracking calories. Try to eat healthy and cut out potatoes/rice/bread as much as you can. I've been dieting for 18 months and don't think I'm ever going to be able to stop! I'm hungry all the time, its really not easy. I've recently started skipping breakfast which I'm still trying to get used to, and my hunger in a morning isn't any worse than normal. It's not easy and you';ve been through a tough time, I feel for you. But if you are unhappy with your weight you can change it - I am a slim person now even though I want to lose more, but I feel so much better for it.

Weight loss is all about diet and it’s hard. Meal prep for the week at a time.

Use an online calculator and find out your TDEE, subtract 300-500 cals and use ChatGPT to help you meal plan based on what you like, protein heavy or what you have in the fridge etc.

You can ask it to do 3 quick meals and snacks or 2 cooked meals and a packed lunch, then snacks. It can also give you a shopping list which you can do an online shop from. Will help you avoid the trap of not knowing what to do in the supermarket.

You could also ask it to be toddler friendly, such as no spice or veg heavy. I’ve never done this but I have asked it to meal plan for simple recipes as DD1 is a fuss pot.

Do come join the weight loss boards ❤

A lot of people have, quite rightly, said that diet is more effective than exercise when it comes to losing weight.

HOWEVER, for som me to be able to tackle either their mental health needs to be in a decent place. So I’d have that as my primary focus before anything else - otherwise you won’t have solid foundations for the rest.

Forgot to add, while pregnant I had pre-eclampsia and almost died. My baby was born very early by emergency c-section and had to stay in the NICU. So still holding onto some trauma from that as well.

Sorry, I should have clarified, I don’t think my eating is terrible. Probably could be better as in more wholefoods and proper protein but it’s not overeating that’s my problem. For example, today I’ve had a yogurt and a sandwich so far. Waiting on my dinner cooking. I’m a social worker so my days are manic and sometimes don’t get to eat properly. I know one of my issues is relying on fizzy drinks to provide energy to get through work. I am working on this.

For context, I’m a size 14 but I’m short with huge and I mean huge boobs. So any extra weight looks horrendous on me which is probably why I feel so disgusted.

My activity levels outwith work are almost zero though. I feel like I’ve got just enough energy to work to pay the bills and look after my child day to day. I’ve maintained this weight since having my baby, literally not moved a pound up or down. I think if I moved more, the scales would start moving.

But it just seems so hopeless. It sounds so simple to just “find the time” but my days just seem to get away from me. I’m aware it does sound like excuses but I don’t know how to start changing my ways, I genuinely don’t.

Thanks to the people who have been kind and understanding. I know the posters who’ve been horrible are probably fat and sad themselves and feel better kicking someone when they’re down rather than just scrolling past when they have nothing useful to add.

OP I'm on similar meds for MH and discussed with the GP and started mounjaro which has helped.

I had to pay for it though. There are charities for MH campaigning for patients on the meds to get the jabs