To think finding the time to lose weight is IMPOSSIBLE?!

[Fat40Unhappy]

Probably get roasted as I’ve posted here for traffic.

I’m about 3.5 stone overweight currently.

I’ve had a shit 3 and a half years. Had a baby, had PND, was doing a stressful degree which included placement, my sibling was diagnosed terminally ill and died last March, my relationship broke down and I’m now working full time in a stressful job with a toddler and I’m a single parent.

My working hours are changing soon to 8:45am to 6pm and I will have one non-working day per week.

I also have a serious mental health condition which requires medication which is very sedating, causes weight gain and makes it difficult to lose. This conditions impacts my sleep so I need to prioritise this to avoid getting ill.

I’m most likely peri-menopausal as well.

Normal day is get up about 7, get myself and toddler dressed, drop to nursery and head to work. I have a 20/30 minute drive depending on traffic. My mum picks toddler up every day after nursery so has them for 2 hours before I get home.

Get home say 6.30 with new hours and then have to feed toddler and myself, bathe toddler and do bed time. They go down about between 7.30-8.30pm. They still wake up 2/3 times per night and I end up in their bed beside them most nights. Broken sleep all week which kills me.

I feel so depressed, I look at myself and feel disgusted. But I don’t know how to organise my life to incorporate exercise and losing this significant amount of weight. I need some motivation and ideas.

TIA

YABU
You don't need time off work to lose weight. In fact, work is probably the easiest place to do it because you don't have a constant access of food.

If I eat very little no sugar no sweets no chocolate no desserts no restaurant meals I will lose weight. If I do the opposite, I maintain my weight or gain weight.

It's got nothing to do with not having time.What do you think extra time would do.

I am always late to these threads where insane comments are made and quickly deleted. What was said?

When it comes to diet, go with simple foods, it will be something you can actually do and may even make life easier.

Make up a big Tupperware of salad keep it topped up and in the fridge ready to go. I just chuck anything in but my favourite combination is: yellow bell pepper, sliced pickled beetroot, jalepenos, cherry tomatoes and little gem lettuce. I chop it all up quite small so it’s like a salsa and then add some frozen sweetcorn. That goes on the side of most of my meals at the minute.

When the weather is cold I do tenderstem broccoli, sugarsnap peas, baby corn, green beans and then just microwave a serving for 3 minutes and have it as a warm salad with a bit of butter, some cooked chicken or boiled egg or have it as a side with my main meal.

For main meals I just have whatever protein I’m making for the family and switch out the carb for my salad mix or some other kind of green veg or mushroom.

So if they’re having lasagna or bolognaise I hold back some of the meat in red sauce, put it on a big portobello mushroom and roast it alongside the lasagna.

If they’re having chicken and wedges. I’ll have chicken and roasted broccoli and cauliflower all cooked in the oven at the same time,

If they’re having tacos, I use little gem lettuce leaves instead of taco shells.

Meat and 2 veg type meals are generally quick and easy to prep, then just stick it in the oven and wait 20-30 minutes.

I also like doing slow cooker meals which I batch cook so I have 4 lunches cooked and ready to eat. 500g mince/beef chunks/chicken breast/boneless chicken thighs/pork shoulder steaks. A bag of prepped sliced onion, a bag of prepped sliced mushroom, frozen sliced peppers, a tin of tomatoes and whatever seasoning you like gives you 4 hearty portions and eat serving is about 250 - 300 calories depending on what meat you use.

Very doable.
You can focus on the food aspect more so the size of the portion and make sure you ar ein a calorie deficit. And walking 2 or 3 times a week 40mins each time will do amazing things with a good clean diet ina calorie deficiet.

I started to take it seriously last year and have lost 20kg! I eat healthy clean food no junk or frozen or anything. I meal prep for all the family on Sundays for the next 10days. But that wasn't enough I then started using my toddlers plate for my dinner. And it worked.

I'm all for exercise, exercise is great and being fit is something we should all aim for.
However, like others have said, losing weight with exercise is close to impossible. I didn't lose a pound when I was half marathon training and running hours every week. It's the food intake you need to address.
And if you say you're already eating well (except for fizzy drinks) then it's the portion sizes. I had a very healthy whole food homecooked diet - just too much of it. Bonus - no extra time needed.

4 posts in, and someone suggests weight loss injections. 🙄

Don't start these @Fat40Unhappy FGS. I lost 2 stone several years ago (and kept it off) with the 5:2 diet. Very effective and the easiest diet I have found to stick to.

OP you have had a very though time and are still dealing with a lot it sounds. So be kind to yourself. Aiming for a better weight is a good plan but probable done best in small steps by making small changes.

I would suggest getting a stress free evening routine would be a good plan. It sounds like your mother takes your toddler from nursery to your house? Maybe she can have your child fed and possibly even bathed by the time you get home? Just have some meals ready for your mother to heat up. Then you only have to focus on getting them to bed on time and your own healthy meal.

My DS sounds about the same age as yours and has always been a bad sleeper. I too end up in their bed every night. Make sure the bed is comfortable for YOU.

Reduce one bad habit. For exams give yourself one fizzy dink per day allowance at work. Once you feel this is your new normal try and reduce it a bit more like no fizzy drinks at home for example.

Most of the posts are saying to just eat less, completely ignoring the fact the OP is specifically on medication that causes weight gain. Anti psychotics and other types of severe mental health meds come with very serious side effects that aren't always easily fixed. "Move more and eat less" doesn't work when medication messes with your physiology !!!!! Its also not easy to just stop them. So many people that are either ignorant or cant read properly.

Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, it's not easy at all.

Another vote for intermittent fasting. It's cheap and you don't have to find time for anything. It should help you get your energy levels stable so small exercise/healthy eating starts to be a bit more manageable.

It can be hard at first but it works if you can get over that initial barrier.

Thank you, these are the kind of ideas I’m looking for with eating better as well. I struggle to think of meals that don’t involve pasta or rice. It doesn’t help that the meals that I’m best at are bolognese, arrabiata, lasagne, chilli, curries etc.

I’ll screenshot this as I’m going to do a big shop at the weekend.

I think you need to give yourself a break. You’ve got a LOT going on and are already juggling more than the average person. Whatever you choose to do, go easy on yourself. You’re doing great already.

If I eat very little no sugar no sweets no chocolate no desserts no restaurant meals I will lose weight.
This. I have changed to skimmed milk no sugar. Cut out biscuits, chocolate and snacks and I have lost 13lb in 2 months. No exercise.

Yes, but I find most people don’t understand this at all. Even when I explain it thoroughly to loved ones…for example ex partner. He still didn’t get that the medication puts on weight even if you’re not trying and it’s really hard to lose once you’re on it. He used to just tell me to stop moaning and do somethunf about it.

It’s a toss up most times between being fat and stable or thin and unwell.

My medication is used off label to treat eating disorders to help people gain weight. It’s second on the list of antipsychotics that cause the most weight gain.

I’ve been lucky and haven’t piled on the weight like some other people that take it. I’m in groups where people have gained 5/6 stone in the space of a few months. Some have went from size 8 to size 22 in a few years. Mines has steadily went on, not helped by baby and a shit few years. That’s why I’m thinking exercise rather than food is my issue.

Thank you for understanding.

Honestly OP ignore the one that say where there is a will there is a way. It's BS. You don't need to exercise. The impact would be minimal.

A few people suggested intermittent fasting and I think it's brilliant to save calories. See if it suits you. Delay your first meal of the day as long as possible (or do it 1hr at a time to get comfortable) and it may reduce overall appetite and food cravings. It's brilliant. I somehow also find it relatively easy to not eat after a certain time in the evening because I know the window has closed and that's how it is.

You are having a stressful life and I understand that losing weight is yet another thing that you feel you have to make head space for. It is hard!

Lots of good advice about diets and food, but I was going to say, would it be possible to move your toddler’s bed next to yours, or yours next to theirs? At least then you are not having to get right up out of bed to soothe them, and they may be more comforted and not wake so much if you are there next to them. You won’t create a monster that will forever want to sleep next to you, but it could make things just a bit easier for now.

No. You need to exercise ages to lose 500 calories. It's calories in Vs calories out. Probably your metabolism is a bit slow, but the same principle applies. It's impossible to lose a substantial amount of weight via exercise.

By skipping breakfast you can save 400-500 calories A DAY.

You’re already doing brilliantly, OP. The best thing you can do is just find ways that make eating good unprocessed food as easy as possible - bagged salads, ready prepared veg, batch cooking are all your friend. You don’t need to spend hours that you don’t have anyway exercising - you work and have a child so are probably getting in plenty of movement during the day. Prioritise rest and good nutrition, your body needs it for the busy and stressful life you have. Sending you good wishes ❤️

Glad it was helpful @Fat40Unhappy tray bakes are also great for this. Get a roasting pan, put in some low cal sausages (they taste better when cooked with stuff than they do when served as a standalone item) or veggie sausages re often lower calorie, or you can good chicken thighs or pork steak. Then add whole cherry tomatoes, chunky red onion, peppers, broccoli, babycorn (basically anything you like that can stand about 30-40 minutes in the oven, limited potatoes though if you want to keep carbs low). Drizzle of olive oil and whatever herbs or spices you enjoy. Bung it 8n the oven at gas mark 6 for 30-40 minutes, give it a shake every now and then and it’s done when it’s the right shade of brown and crispy for your tastes. Takes about 5 minutes to get everything in the tray then it just sorts itself out in the oven while you do something else, at the end you have a full plate of food with no sides needed and it’s full of veg.

Why not? They're working for thousands of people, what is the issue?

Sounds like you’ve had a traumatic and stressful few years. It must be stressful being a single parent as well. Do you have a support network around you?

Weight loss is also about regulating blood sugar and cortisol. Make sure you eat a clean, whole food diet (meal prep) I recommend Jessica Shand’s hormone book and follow her on instagram. Make sure you walk during your lunch break and get a decent nights sleep.

You can do this, I believe in you.

You don’t need time lovely, just a few small lifestyle adjustments. Find out what your BMR is and then eat healthy meals with a calorie deficit- I’ve actually found chat GPT really useful for this, you can put in all the food you have available to use and it suggests meals and recipes with their calorie value, and you can use it to track your daily intake. I’ve also been trying to do 10k steps per day and a short (10-15 min) YouTube workout during my lunch break. Lost over 4kgs in just under 4 weeks and reduced my BMI by 1.6… and I was only just under 60kgs to begin with. Good luck!

You do long hours! I would recommend if you can adding some exercise in, maybe something with weights at home even.
Im fat just now but when I lost weight before just toning up your body when you have big boobs can help. It just helps improving the muscle tone across your chest and holding them up!
I can see now you are on your own so even harder. Maybe twice a week for 15/20 minutes after they’ve gone to bed. Does dad take them at all.
I also agree you need to meal plan, including snacks, so you don’t get caught out,

Also is your medication mirtazapine? If so I would request an alternative from your GP… I was on that for a while quite some time ago, I put on two stone without even trying and it took aaaaaaaaages to shift even after I came off it, and it didn’t help with my mental state one tiny bit.

I batch cook a really cheap, easy, healthy, filling lentil Dahl - chuck 300g dry red lentils, 2 tins toms and use for cans of water, 3 tableslolns garlic and ginger paste, 2 or 3 stock cubes, tablespoon of garam masala. . Simmer for an hour. Makes 4 decent portions, can add veggies like frozen spinach at the end. Also hard boiled egg or two for extra protein. 300 cals if you make 4 portions, 250 for 5 portions (plus egg calories). I love it.

You need less calories, that doesn’t have to involve a lot of cooking or planning.