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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be disappointed about this?

777 replies

mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 20:30

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 21:37

saraclara · 06/07/2025 21:36

Buy a couple of trays of fancy mixed sushi, and a bottle of wine/some tinned cocktails. Done.

Ooh sushi! That's definitely a thought! Very compact too!

OP posts:
mswales · 06/07/2025 21:37

This is so silly (sorry OP). All the seats are the same size so it's not more cramped. You'll be across the aisle from each other so not trapped with a stranger, if I'm understanding correctly. You don't need a table to share food on a train! No reason to switch to sandwiches and water just because you're not sat opposite each other.

It is a bit annoying but there must be a bigger underlying issue of him being a bit careless for you to feel this upset about this. Which I completely sympathise with!

There is always one carriage unreserved so if you get to the station early and get to the platform first you can probably still get a table together.

Needmorelego · 06/07/2025 21:38

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:35

You mean the factual remark about wipes?

They're essentially tissues with various liquids on.
I mean if we are being environmentally friendly we shouldn't be travelling on trains should we - we should all stay within a 3 mile radius of our homes 😂
People use wipes......jeez.

CurlewKate · 06/07/2025 21:39

Didimum · 06/07/2025 20:41

Download a good podcast. Get some gins in tins. But a new book.

I think your train picnics likely bother other passengers, but whatever.

Why and how?

grumpygrape · 06/07/2025 21:39

Sorry OP, I think you are being unreasonable. You said your OH has form so you should have done the booking yourself.
Have a good time anyway.

TeenLifeMum · 06/07/2025 21:39

Those with sensitive noses; be grateful you weren’t on the Weymouth train yesterday when we had to move carriage because a man vomited all the way up the aisle as we sat with our cocktails 🤢 I’d rather smell antipasti.

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:41

Needmorelego · 06/07/2025 21:38

They're essentially tissues with various liquids on.
I mean if we are being environmentally friendly we shouldn't be travelling on trains should we - we should all stay within a 3 mile radius of our homes 😂
People use wipes......jeez.

Trains are often the more environmentally friendly option.
Wipes often aren't biodegradable, like tissues are.

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:42

CurlewKate · 06/07/2025 21:39

Why and how?

There's quite a few replies answering this already.

Needmorelego · 06/07/2025 21:43

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:41

Trains are often the more environmentally friendly option.
Wipes often aren't biodegradable, like tissues are.

Where I live general waste rubbish gets incinerated so they won't need to biodegradable.

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:43

TeenLifeMum · 06/07/2025 21:39

Those with sensitive noses; be grateful you weren’t on the Weymouth train yesterday when we had to move carriage because a man vomited all the way up the aisle as we sat with our cocktails 🤢 I’d rather smell antipasti.

I hope he was ok, presumably he didn't vomit for fun.

saraclara · 06/07/2025 21:45

mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 21:37

Ooh sushi! That's definitely a thought! Very compact too!

The compactness is what led me to suggest it. It's nicer and classier than sandwiches, but not messy or fiddly to eat. And it comes already packed neatly in a box.

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:46

Needmorelego · 06/07/2025 21:43

Where I live general waste rubbish gets incinerated so they won't need to biodegradable.

So, wipes are generating more unnecessary waste that needs to be incinerated. 🫣

mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 21:47

grumpygrape · 06/07/2025 21:39

Sorry OP, I think you are being unreasonable. You said your OH has form so you should have done the booking yourself.
Have a good time anyway.

What? You think I should reward my DHs incompetence by making his life easy and taking on the full burden of doing all the admin myself?

Yeah, not gonna happen.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 06/07/2025 21:48

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:46

So, wipes are generating more unnecessary waste that needs to be incinerated. 🫣

......and turned into electricity.

mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 21:48

saraclara · 06/07/2025 21:45

The compactness is what led me to suggest it. It's nicer and classier than sandwiches, but not messy or fiddly to eat. And it comes already packed neatly in a box.

And, I can use chopsticks. #pretentiousandproud!

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 06/07/2025 21:48

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:43

I hope he was ok, presumably he didn't vomit for fun.

He’d been on the piss in Weymouth with his mates.

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:49

mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 21:47

What? You think I should reward my DHs incompetence by making his life easy and taking on the full burden of doing all the admin myself?

Yeah, not gonna happen.

Are you sure he's not actually been completely competent at avoiding the train picnic? Does he enjoy it as much as you?

Bluddyellfire · 06/07/2025 21:49

Oh the humanity!!! Agree, absolute non problem. Get a meal deal and some gin tins, it's a train not the Ritz.................. 🙄

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:50

TeenLifeMum · 06/07/2025 21:48

He’d been on the piss in Weymouth with his mates.

Ah. Well, many folk have been there, done that.
Yuck for you though.

Morry15 · 06/07/2025 21:50

Goodness me. Talk about a first world problem. So your birthday starts at 3pm instead of 11am.

And???

mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 21:50

Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:49

Are you sure he's not actually been completely competent at avoiding the train picnic? Does he enjoy it as much as you?

Yeah, he does. He definitely didn't do this on purpose.

OP posts:
Morgenrot25 · 06/07/2025 21:50

mrsm43s · 06/07/2025 21:48

And, I can use chopsticks. #pretentiousandproud!

Lots of people can use chopsticks.
🫣

Delphiniumandlupins · 06/07/2025 21:50

OP hasn't explained whether she and DH have 2 aisle seats, beside each other, one window and one aisle seat, beside each other, or two separate seats.

TourdeFrance2025 · 06/07/2025 21:51

Your usual routine sounds lovely. Just ignore the negative nellies! It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if you were sitting next to me & you'd be welcome spread out in the table!

I'd be pissed off with DH being so slapdash as well. I'd be asking him if he doesn't enjoy our train picnics?!

this time, could you go for brunch before the train, then take some nice chocolate & individual nice drinks for the journey with either podcast/audio book/ real book/magazines however you like to relax.

i'd make him well aware of how pissed off I was that he didn't bother to think, but then I'd decide how I could best enjoy the journey.

(for me that involves Cornish pasty! The only time I get to enjoy one!! Chocolate & coffee!)

grumpygrape · 06/07/2025 21:51

No, not rewarding him, just getting what you set such store by.
If you can't train him..... (See what I did there ?)