To think DH performance cooking is a bit ott…

[harriethoyle]

Lighthearted! I will preface this by saying I adore my DH and he is an excellent man who more than pulls his domestic weight.

BUT

When he decides To Cook (capitals deliberate) as he did today, it is a performance. Wanting me as a sous chef, commentary on the progress of the dish, frequent tastings for my opinion, serving up with a flourish then a post-mortem on what was good, bad, ugly. It was delicious tbf.

Meanwhile, I’ve knocked up a lasagne for tomorrow, mini quiches for next weekend’s picnic lunch and a cous cous salad for lunches this week. With no assistance, checking in or post-cook review…

AIBU? Anyone else’s partner do this?!

Oh Christ, sounds like my BIL. So cunting tedious “mmm, yes you CAN tell the asparagus are in season” (I can’t). Only diff being everything he serves is utter vom.

YANBU. Why don’t you tell him he can do without a sous chef and leave the kitchen? Why pander to him?

Do the same when you cook.

Is it because you cook more often? If so, tell him it's just so delicious that he can cook more.

I was fixing myself a gin and slim so got sucked in 🤣 don’t worry, I did my piano practice for the next hour! 🤭

Stay out the kitchen while he's cooking so he has no audience /help and just has to get on with it like you do!

@SouthLondonMum22 i don’t think so because if anything he does the majority of the cooking, it’s when he sets out to cook A Thing. Today was pork shoulder ragu. Planned for days!

My partner used to do this, until he retired early at 60 and I made him take over all the cooking and laundry. He's not quite so "flourishy" these days.

But that’s where the drinks fridge is… 😬

At least it was genuinely delicious! 🤣

😂 Its your planning that needs improving then! Get drinks as soon as the cooking starts...maybe invest in a mini fridge 😂

Would one look like a lush if one had a wine fridge in the lounge @Butthechildrentheylovethebooks ? asking for a friend… 👀

I love pork shoulder, sounds yum, I might even look up a recipe..

The funny thing is, since my partner retired early 5 years ago, we kind of swapped roles (I still work FT with a side job). He's now the one that does the regular week's meal planning, big shop order, and day-to-day cooking... but I'm now the one who gets to do the preformative cooking!! Oh yes, it's so much fun. The grown-up kids love the "mum's cooking" days, they'll even bring their gfs over. How the tables have turned!

@harriethoyle who cares if it keeps you away from the performance! 😆

@Muffsies irritatingly, it was absolutely lush 🤣

Ah it sounds really fun op! it sounds fine as long as the food is good and he’s not leaving a huge mess!

It’s always more enjoyable to cook something new / interesting that churning out same old family meals / batch cooking. I wouldn’t mind that but then my Dh isn’t interested enough in cooking for performance, whereas I am!

DH is like this too. I have evolved and grown ear flaps in the last few years. My nose still works so I turn up for the tasting.😋

I believe it! I've already found the optimum recipe. Pork shoulder and Italian sausage will be sourced for the week after next, and somehow this will be when my brother and his Italian wife are visiting. Thankfully, she loves it when the British do Italian cooking. Her mother was a chef, and she'll tell me exactly how it should have been done (all in very good humour, and gratefully received).

But it’s the endless need for endorsement @Xmasbaby11 - yes the sauce is cooking down nicely, yes the pork is now very tender, yes the pasta was perfectly al dente… 🤣🙈

Yeah I manage to stifle my annoyance at that point @HereForTheFreeLunch 🤣🤣🤣

Ah yes, that is the difference with men. No doubt. Everything they do must be witnessed and celebrated. I tend to ignore it. It's a trait that I have hopefully bred out of my 3 boys.

I genuinely do think this is a male trait @Muffsies although I acknowledge MAMALT. But quite a lot of them seem to be!

And does the need continue on beyond the actual digestion of the meal, and long after it’s been shat out and gone on its way?

Do you need to keep revisiting its marvellousness? Are you reminded often to reminisce and re-congratulate appropriately on its excellence? (In a way that absolutely none of the many of the things you do on a daily basis will ever be memorialised, obviously?)

Honestly, if you stabbed him with a spoon one day, no jury in the land would convict.

why make quiches a week in advance ?

Why is MN so obsessed with things being ‘performative’?

He sounds like he’s just enjoying himself.

You can never have enough quiche; seriously tho its a great convenience food. You can store it in the fridge or feezer, prepare it hot or cold, on it's own, or with multiple accompaniments. It's almost the perfect food 👌