To think “neurodivergent” is being used too casually and too often?

[MauveOrca]

Every quirk or preference doesn’t mean you’re ND. I know diagnoses help some people but it feels like it’s now shorthand for anything outside the mainstream. Can we not just have variation without a label?

Or, cringle inducingly, "superpower"

I had a friend diagnosed with adhd, and it became, without exaggeration, her whole personality.

My son is ASD. It helps to understand that some of his weird behaviour and reactions are "normal" to him- he's not doing it to be annoying (repeat ad nauseum in order not to blow up on him). So yes, he's ND. He needs a TA 1:1 in school and has a learning disability as well. When people say I'm ND even though they have no difficulty or diagnosis, they just want to say that they're different and quirky it really pisses me of. I would love for my DS to not be ND- it makes his life so difficult and ours as well. And I don't think he will ever be able to live independently. Nothing cute or quirky about that, it's just sad.

We are just discovering that the ND population is a very big minority. Not the tiny little % people thought it was.

things have to change. Education, the way work is structured. Everything. It’s all set out for NT and it makes every day life exhausting for the rest of us

You do realise that you actually have to meet a criteria in order to even be referred let alone get a diagnosis?

It’s really not a case of us all being a bit different.

If the term "neurodiverse" were saved for parts of the spectrum that are well away from the average, and the degree of severity was properly diagnosed by the correct medical professionals, then time ,money and resources could be targeted at those who haven't the capability or resilience to develop their own coping strategies.
At the moment resources are spread so thinly over the vast numbers of individuals labelled as "neurodiverse" " that nobody ends up with any quality provision!
(Not the most publicised viewpoint and bound to be jumped on by the strident posters that stalk the SEND forums on here,but I suspect this is the quietly held view of the vast majority including the OP and the large vote count who support the original question. )

I might have still been in my well-paid public sector job if I'd had a diagnosis 25 years ago. Instead I was dismissed under a capability process because I'd had repeated spells of sick leave for 4-12 weeks at a time.

It was only decades later that my therapist advised me to seek a diagnosis, and reckons that I was actually having autistic burnout. I scored massively high on pre-assessment tests and said therapist is so positive that I'm ND that she's said she'll refund all my fees if I'm not.

Honestly it really is!! Is someone in government trying to cut treatment for neurodivergent people so is on a campaign to swamp the internet forums with “what a load of crap this is we should blah blah”. There are just too many of these threads for this to be organic….

Anyway to OP. Lots undiagnosed? Yes. diagnosed? No. As I have said before I think there is an issue with self diagnosis and perhaps a tad over diagnosed in young children….But there is possibly an under diagnosed in the adult population perhaps paradoxically also people who have self diagnosed based on exactly what you think neurodivergence is…

”I do that sometimes…I must be ADHD to the eyeballs” 🙄

Language is important. We need words to describe everything. Maybe you feel annoyed about the overexposure if you and others assume that ND’s are a tiny minority.
if the numbers are higher than previously assumed then it makes sense that you would hear more people describing themselves, more regularly and vocally

Diagnosis, not label.

Lets see if OP returns.

Same old ableist shite. Everyone has moved on from disability bashing now, other than on Mumsnet apparently.

I guess the question is how well do you cope "outside the mainstream"? And how well do those around you cope with you? I mean yes in theory you are right, problem is there is basically very little support available for anyone and if you don't have a diagnosis, there is zero! If you are one of the lucky ones who does life fine, just with some variation fair enough, but for all those who don't, no diagnosis means they are screwed.

Strongly disagree.
As a 46 yo from a Communist country, there was literally NO peer, friend, acquaintance or relative who would be ND. Do you know why?
It was within norm to be ostracized, mocked, threatened to be removed from your "home" (and some of the heavily affected kids were), punished by solitude, sometimes by removing food and water (yes, true). All accepted.
Now, I have Asperger's. My bastard "parents" fortunately didn't notice, therefore didn't punish much. The adults, who were around us then, would be criminals now. Obviously low contact with remaining elderly "parent". Just another way to look at it.

This.
It's about time everyone is accepted and reasonable adjustments are made
The world is not just a neurotypical world
A very good example is I have to travel from only one airport because my ND DD is familiar with it and knows there are no lifts, without special assistance we would not get on that plane. The "quirks" or "preferances" cause a high level of emotional distress and need to be recognised and be accepted

This ^

Neurodivergence can cause huge difficulties for ND people. We're not just being precious snowflakes. We have shorter lifespans, higher suicide rates and higher addiction rates. We're more likely to have mental health difficulties, struggle to access healthcare and be unemployed. We're often socially isolated and chronically lonely. We're bullied, rejected and ostracised in schools, workplaces and by so called friends and neighbours. We're more likely to be living in poverty. We also have particular physical health problems that the NHS doesn't want to know about - EDS, hypermobility, allergies, MCAS, POTs etc. These often cause lifelong, chronic pain. It's shit and I honestly wish I'd never been born, as does my ds. We're hidden from view though. I never talk to NTs unless it's absolutely unavoidable. NTs do not know there's a whole world of struggling people out there and how their excessive noise and crap means we're living shit lives.

I always find these threads interesting as the poll vote always has its majority agreeing with the OP, yet the posters who contribute mostly disagreeing.

I suspect OP, that most who agree with you can’t be assed posting because it’s a touchy as fuck subject.

Well said.

Unfortunately I doubt op cares much.

People like op come on, make bold ignorant statements but really don’t want to listen to anyone’s experiences.

ND isn’t about being quirky. It’s about finding parts everyday life challenging. 90% of autistic women will also be diagnosed with a mental health condition, autistic women account for 25 to 35% of women being treated for anorexia and therefore traditional treatment isn’t appropriate because it doesn’t work and autistic women with high IQs are 13 times more likely to die by sucide.

I hate to think how many women have been seriously failed by mental health services along because their neurodiversity wasn’t recognised or understood.

Totally agree it like little Johnny jumping in puddles o he must have ADHD o little Jenny said no to me they must have ADHD no questions asked

I fucking hate the stupid "we're all a bit autistic / nd" bullshit.

No.

Just like we've not all got a bit of down syndrome or a touch of cerebral palsy or a little prader-willi

And you see this is the problem. This is what dismissing ND looks like. Oh we're all a bit autistic oh we've all got a touch of ocd is dismissive of the challenges people who are nd face. Its next door to denying it exists at all.

So No. You're not all a little bit... You're ND if you've got an ND diagnosis.

We are not All On The Spectrum and things would be better for actually ND people if this bullshit would stop being spouted as a way of minimising and dismissing actual struggles.

I think the issue is less people who are actually neurodiverse (official diagnosis or not), and more people who maybe “used to be a bit OCD” or “felt a bit bipolar about something” and now think they have “neurodivergent traits” because they lose their keys, aren’t great at small talk, or are selfish, despite not fitting any of the other diagnostic criteria.

”We’re all a bit neurodiverse/is anyone actually neurotypical anyway” etc - nope, offensive and appropriative.

Jeez threads like these are exactly why my dc can't reveal their diagnoses at work. So much ignorance

Have you been through the diagnostic criteria?
It simply has nothing to do about puddles or saying no. The criteria is stringent and took us 2 years but I think it's a lot longer now. You must meet the criteria in at least two settings and this needs to be evidenced by professionals. We had educational psychologist, occupational therapist, play therapist and school evidence just to be referred.

Have u read any Mumsnet posts my child woke up five mins earlier then normal every other answer is o they must have autism or ADHD have u had them assessed

If you can link to one single post on mumsnet that says that, I will give you a million quid.

I agree and I have a formal diagnosis of Autism in addition to being a SEND education academic/professional.