DH and I have been together 13 years, married for 9, 2 DCs.
Sex life has been great, he's a very good looking man, knows what he's doing, no issues there.
Increasingly, he's just useless day-to-day and I think it's completely destroyed my attraction to him. Just yesterday, he had to work in the morning, that was fine until he got home over an hour late and that made us late for a party. He was in a foul mood about the issue at work that had made him late (not his fault, in fairness) but he whinged the whole time getting ready about it. He then asked if I was ok with his outfit - a pair of rugby shorts he's had for over a decade with paint splattered on them and a different rugby shirt, also with paint splattered on it. I had to actually ask him to change.
En route, we had to stop to purchase a card/gift for the party (it was the birthday party for the child of a friend) - he suggested that he go in and I wait in the car with DCs (all fine) but the gift he bought wasn't really appropriate at all for that child and he forgot to get a card. I didn't say a word about it. The party was all fine.
Then we left and had to go to a supermarket again to pick up some bits for dinner and some laundry bits. We walked in with the shopping bag and got a self-scanner. After we were in, he decided he wanted a trolley so went back out to get one, came back in and decided he wanted to look at the stick deodorants (having picked up a spray one). This involved him looking through the ingredients for all the ones on sale and seeing if they have aluminium in them. The problem is that two young DCs are tired, it's nearing bedtime and they've had sugar so they're getting ratty and are getting rattier waiting around. So I took DC to the next aisle to get other bits while DH looked at the deodorant. DH joins us on that aisle, then decides he needs something else and doubles-back again - which causes DCs to get more impatient and ratty. He finally joins us in the meat aisle - I ask if he wants steak or chicken wings (we'd previously discussed both). He says he wants to take a look. So, we stand in the meat aisle for ages while he looks at the steaks and the chicken wings and thinks about it. Eventually, I snap at him to just make a damn decision on what he wants for dinner and end up getting chicken thighs and walking DCs to the next bit. We need milk for DD but, instead of putting it in the bag in the trolley, he puts it outside the bag (despite me putting everything else inside the bag) so then DD is whining about wanting it (she's a complete milk addict - she's 2) and having seen the milk is now miserable that she can't have it. Then, we just needed some laundry products. He went to get scent boosters and then just stood with them inches from his face saying they didn't have any and we'd need to go to a different supermarket.
We got home, got DCs to bed, then had to start on dinner - that was a whole other fiasco. Without a complete timeline, things like me setting serving utensils out and him absent-mindedly taking them away, him burning the chicken on the BBQ, him deciding to do another job half-way through dinner and delaying everything by 30 minutes, him covering the chicken in oil for no reason (even though he knows I'm dieting) and then lying about it and saying he didn't do it...
Then, after dinner, we went upstairs and I asked him about this weird lumpy/dimpling that's on one of my breasts that I'm worried about. I asked if he could take a picture and he said he would. Then the dog started barking so he went down to see what was wrong. He came back half an hour later and was confused as to why that annoyed me. He'd just completely forgotten that I was waiting and that we were having quite a serious conversation. I felt like an idiot waiting around topless for him - like, I felt really vulnerable and embarrassed.
So, all in all, he was just being useless and difficult all day - and it feels like he's like this most days. He then woke me up in the early hours of the morning wanting sex. I went along with it but wasn't feeling it at all. I actually didn't feel at all attracted to him. I've told him before that I find him being difficult/incompetent unattractive but it's usually something that passes (i.e. when he's actually being incompetent, I find him unattractive, but that goes away when he's stopped doing the incompetent thing). This time, it was firmly there.
He's gone to work again this morning and I'm just stuck thinking about how incompetent and unattractive I find him and I don't know how to move past it.