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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else lost a bit of ambition now they’ve been taxed to the brink?

1000 replies

Peasontoastt · 04/07/2025 19:56

I used to be extremely ambitious and was really eager to reach some sort of financial security. As a consequence, I’m in what’s considered a highly paid career, I work hard and it took me many years to train.

Just as I paid off my student loan (which took many years), I then had a baby and returned to work to be stuck with the childcare dilemma. I struggled through that phase and have come out the other side but being taxed so much, no child benefit, still paying for nursery even though dd has ‘free’ hours now. It’s likely that savings are going to be bashed next, so what’s the point in even putting anything aside when there’s likely going to be a 4K cap on ISAs.

I used to feel so ambitious and of course I know money isn’t everything, not by a long shot. But having worked my way up the ladder and with huge responsibilities only to feel penalised financially for doing so…what is the point? Yes I have more financial security than someone claiming benefits but equally, I am not being flippant when I say a few years of resting and being at home and being frugal is starting to seem so much more attractive. Has anyone else started feeling this way? I feel taken the piss out of by every financial angle!

OP posts:
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lifeonmars100 · 05/07/2025 14:06

WunTooThree · 05/07/2025 13:50

I overheard someone tell their kid the same, and they pointed at me like I was a warning of their future. I was a cleaner.
I tried my best at school but I have only even been able to do low paid jobs. We need people to do them.

Exactly this, if the operating theatre is not clean, then how can the surgeon and their team perform surgery? if the shelves are not stacked in the supermarket how can we buy groceries? and if the bins are not emptied then it would take less than a month for our homes and streets to become piled high with rubbish. All these are essential jobs and without people doing them it would take mere months for us all to be negatively affected.

ElectoralControversy · 05/07/2025 14:08

TwoFeralKids · 05/07/2025 10:46

It is "but for the grace of god I would be" as some of these will have to go on benefits at some point.

I really hope that all the people complaining how much tax they pay for others to 'sit around on their arses' are confident their jobs won't be done by AI in five years' time.

We're going to see lawyers, accountants, managers, even doctors finding out just how cushy a life on universal credit actually is

HannahTheBanana · 05/07/2025 14:14

ARainyNightInSoho · 04/07/2025 20:05

No, I don’t feel the same as you. You must be quite a low energy, unmotivated person if paying taxes makes you less ambitious.

My husband and I have been high earners and tax payers all our working lives. I am pleased that we have been able to contribute to society.

Just that really. I can say exactly the same

Boohoo76 · 05/07/2025 14:14

pennyHD · 05/07/2025 14:04

@Boohoo76he must be a headteacher or very senior then as I don’t know any teachers earning 40k let alone over 50k

Your must only know quite junior teachers then. Lots of teachers earn £40k plus once they have 5/6 years experience. My brother is a head of year.

Whatshesaid96 · 05/07/2025 14:20

BeeryZ · 04/07/2025 21:05

There’s no point anymore having ambition. If you earn over 100k you get no child benefit, no free nursery hours when they’re younger and taxed to the hilt. So all the extra hours you put in to get that higher salary and responsibility….you might as well not have bothered as you’re taking home the same as lower paid colleagues.

Its also not a lot of money when you live in the south.

I will absolutely encourage my children to move abroad and hopefully we can follow them when we retire.

Those are a few short years of pain surely in terms of child benefit and nursery fees? In the long term quality of life for someone on 100k would still be substantially better than the lower paid colleague on 50k? That higher paid person would still accumulate more in terms of savings, pension and ability to make more lifestyle choices over the 30 years or so of their remaining work life.

Boohoo76 · 05/07/2025 14:20

ElectoralControversy · 05/07/2025 14:08

I really hope that all the people complaining how much tax they pay for others to 'sit around on their arses' are confident their jobs won't be done by AI in five years' time.

We're going to see lawyers, accountants, managers, even doctors finding out just how cushy a life on universal credit actually is

I’m a lawyer and I’m not worried about AI. I’ve worked at two different companies that have been trying to implement AI tools for the last four years and they still don’t work properly. And that’s just for contract review…I spend many hours a day on calls discussing risk with the business I work for and negotiating terms with other lawyers. My job isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Gagcaa · 05/07/2025 14:23

pennyHD · 05/07/2025 13:59

@MidnightPatrolnot in the area that I live in! I’ve actually heard some people in my area describe £20k as a good salary!

£20k is peanuts!

Sabire9 · 05/07/2025 14:36

@CaptainFuture

"We're meant to be full of 'ooh of COURSE!! I'm so ecstatic to work and pay fuck loads for child care so that those who are multi generational benefit claimants can continue to get their life style paid for forever!"

I guess you're a Daily Mail reader?

There are almost no 'multigenerational benefit claimants' other than the Royal Family.

The idea that there were vast numbers of generationally unemployed families is largely a myth - worklessness across multiple generations in a single family is rare and that most people on benefits, including those with long-term unemployment, value work and aspire to be employed.

The vast majority of people on welfare are working, sick, or caring for others.

Stigmatising the poorest people in the country because as a well off person you resent paying tax - it's gross.

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 14:46

must be a headteacher or very senior then as I don’t know any teachers earning 40k let alone over 50k

You know you can't extrapolate that to the whole country!

www.nasuwt.org.uk/advice/pay-pensions/pay-scales/pay-scales-fringe-outer-london-and-inner-london.html

taxguru · 05/07/2025 14:54

Gagcaa · 05/07/2025 13:59

There are numerous careers that after progression you can earn more than £50k. Doctors after they progress and specialise. Careers in consulting etc. My DH is high up at Deloitte (after many years of hard work) and earns around £130k.

You just gotta work your way up.

Yup, train drivers, head of dept teachers, junior fire fighter officers, senior nurses, etc etc., in fact most professions once you have experience behind you and have worked up a couple of rungs of the ladder.

taxguru · 05/07/2025 14:55

Gagcaa · 05/07/2025 14:23

£20k is peanuts!

£20k isn't even minimum wage!

Perhaps people talking about low wages aren't actually working full time!

taxguru · 05/07/2025 14:56

Boohoo76 · 05/07/2025 14:14

Your must only know quite junior teachers then. Lots of teachers earn £40k plus once they have 5/6 years experience. My brother is a head of year.

I agree as per a quick google

"After 5 years, a typical teacher could earn at least £43,607"

Mustardmummy23 · 05/07/2025 15:08

@SunnyFTM567 what do you mean by offshore?

The UK has isn't a low tax economy, that is a myth, but it isn't a high tax either. If you read around the issue we're a hot mess. Essentially a medium tax low welfare economy. With no one really happy. I would happily pay more if it meant better public services. And we own our own ltd comp and have to be VAT reg, get on that train and you'll know what being taxed feels like 🤪🤣. Corporation, VAT, NI and Income 😅.

The one the boils my piss is council - ours is very high and the council and police here are shocking.

MikeRafone · 05/07/2025 15:13

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 09:39

child benefit or winter fuel benefit, regardless of their income or wealth

child benefit isn't universal, it used to be of course but not now.

exactly, and now we have people earning £99k and saying if they earn £110 they'll lose their child benefit etc

CinnamonCinnabar · 05/07/2025 15:19

There will always be lower paid jobs - but in an ideal world those jobs would all pay a living wage, so a full time cleaner or hospital porter would not routinely receive benefits. For that to happen wages have to rise, which will mean prices rise - personally I'm happy with that but most people wouldn't be. Higher wages would cause higher prices in the food trade leading to lower custom & closures of cafes etc - we can't have higher wages AND cheap goods and services.

Whyisthemoonmadeofgreencheese · 05/07/2025 15:20

Bushmillsbabe · 05/07/2025 13:18

It's not just about hard work now, it's about historical hard work, making choices for the long term rather than the short term. Many of my school mates were too busy getting pissed to put much effort in, I did 4 hours + school work every school night to get the grades needed to progress, I am only averagely smart but got all A's at gcse's and A levels through sheer slog. When others were buying fancy new build flats in trendies areas, I bought a do'er upper in a non trendy area and through working my way up the housing ladder DH and I now own a million pound home despite both only earning roughly national average salaries (nhs and council), despite both having a disability.

No one denies thats lots of people work hard for low salaries, but what choices did they make further back, did they study really hard, did they go without in their early days, make smart choices. Keep getting up and trying again when knocked back.

Being financially stable is part hard work, part smart choices/determination a bit of luck in terms of how academically able/talented someone is.

I know so many people who had really tough starts in life, loads of knock backs and through sheer slog and determination have become extremely sucessful, which maybe skews my views on what is luck and what is choice.

Thanks for sharing your story. As someone with an (invisible) disability myself, I really respect the struggles you made. No-one should underestimate what a struggle life can be sometimes for so many people. I agree that determination is a really important quality.

But at the same time it's not necessarily the case that academic ability and studying very hard leads to great long term financial success. Like you I got all As in my exams. With that I ended up as a university lecturer. It's in some ways a nice life which I enjoy and feel privileged to be in, but even after 20 years' post-PhD teaching experience, with internationally recognised expertise and in a highly skilled very full-time job with lots of complex and competing demands that were getting ever harder and harder to satisfy, my salary only peaked at just over 50K (like so little over I barely noticed I was paying higher rate) for maybe a couple of years. Ironically that was half of what some people on here who feel hard done by earn - and less than what some people I went to university with were earning decades ago - but I felt moderately well off, as I felt lucky to be well above average UK earnings. But then so much unpaid overtime was expected in my job I had to go part-time to fit in unpaid caring responsibilities and keep health issues manageable - so it was swiftly back to basic rate again. And now I'm losing my job altogether because the higher education sector is in financial meltdown, so it's back to square one looking for near-minimum wage work.

So there is indeed a problem in this country with the link between effort and reward being broken - but it isn't a case of very high earners being overtaxed, it's more that a lot of even highly skilled work, done by an increasingly highly educated population, is underpaid compared to the cost of living, especially the cost of housing.

TwoFeralKids · 05/07/2025 15:46

WunTooThree · 05/07/2025 13:50

I overheard someone tell their kid the same, and they pointed at me like I was a warning of their future. I was a cleaner.
I tried my best at school but I have only even been able to do low paid jobs. We need people to do them.

That is awful of them.

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 15:54

@Whyisthemoonmadeofgreencheese when were you earning 50k?

Because 50k in 2020 is 64k today

it's more that a lot of even highly skilled work, done by an increasingly highly educated population, is underpaid compared to the cost of living, especially the cost of housing.

I agree with this point. Wages are low and housing is too high.

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 15:55

exactly, and now we have people earning £99k and saying if they earn £110 they'll lose their child benefit etc

But why shouldn't someone paying a lot of tax be entitled to a subsidy? Particularly when we have such high childcare costs compared to other countries.

Spartahori · 05/07/2025 16:03

ElectoralControversy · 05/07/2025 14:08

I really hope that all the people complaining how much tax they pay for others to 'sit around on their arses' are confident their jobs won't be done by AI in five years' time.

We're going to see lawyers, accountants, managers, even doctors finding out just how cushy a life on universal credit actually is

I’ve made provisions though and I’d expect others to have done likewise. It’s a bit daft not to have a plan b for if you were unable to work through illness or were made redundant, don’t you think? You shouldn’t have cash from the state as the go-to option. You can and should properly insure against these things.

Take Sweden for instance. You pay into a state-run insurance fund which on being made redundant pays you 80% of your previous salary for 2 years. If you opt not to do this you’ll still get suppose but at a bare minimum level. This makes so much more sense than our system.

Spartahori · 05/07/2025 16:04

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 15:55

exactly, and now we have people earning £99k and saying if they earn £110 they'll lose their child benefit etc

But why shouldn't someone paying a lot of tax be entitled to a subsidy? Particularly when we have such high childcare costs compared to other countries.

It’s so damaging to our overall tax tax to have these stupid cut offs.

Spartahori · 05/07/2025 16:04

Tax take

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 16:08

It’s a bit daft not to have a plan b for if you were unable to work through illness or were made redundant, don’t you think? You shouldn’t have cash from the state as the go-to option. You can and should properly insure against these things.

Not quite true. One of my colleagues had cancer in her early 20s and one of my uni friends had a stroke at uni. Life insurance for them is prohibitively expensive. Most don't think about it until they are a bit older:ok the ladder.

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 16:09

But I agree that European countries that link benefits to what you pay in is better.

notquiteruralbliss · 05/07/2025 16:11

If your salary is over £100k and you don’t want your taxable income to be, then you can just pay more into your pension or maybe buy more leave ( if you are employed). Or you can just pay the tax. I really don’t get the drama over it. It’s a choice that you are lucky to be able to make.

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