Young staff at work

[partyetiquette]

Hello this is a bit of a moan really , can't really talk about it in actual work as it wouldn't be my place to do so.
Each year, we have a set of new trainees, they are with us for between 3 and 7 months depending on their training. This last batch have been here 6 months. They are between 22 and 28. There are a team of 2 staff who look after them. These two have worked solidly for all of them for 6 months. They have also organised extra things for the trainees like birthday cakes etc A big part of their training is 'soft skills' as we do a lot of client work. The mentors have been unanimously good, professional etc. Our trainees left last week and not one of the 6 trainees gave their mentors a card, or a gift or even a nice email. The two mentors were quite inward about it and started to think maybe the trainees has been unhappy etc
Yesterday, we had a site visit from an equivalent company, the mentors there said the same!
Has this sort of normal niceties gone out of work?

But ..at work there are loads of little nice things like this, that keep people going, cheer people up, make them feel seen. Work is not just turn up soullessly work then go home. There are shared jokes, happiness, fun?

It's a bit of an unwritten rule, and I wonder if the length of time that they were on these placements might give the feeling that they were a reasonably temporary 'fixture' there. I have worked with a couple of interns for about that time, and they were understandably anxious about going to their more permanent placement (after 6 months) and, to a greater or lesser extent, the chance to become financially independent. Sometimes this also required them to be applying quite intensively as well as their work. Although a card is not a huge expense, for some, it might be a factor in the bigger picture.

Birthday cakes etc - this is nice, but can go far too far and can most definitely feel cliquey as well. Although a good baker, I would rather be thanked for a good job at what I am there for rather than - and I quote - "The Italian Grandmother award" (age 30. When I stopped buying into the 'make office cakes' pressure then and there).

I do hope that some form of a thank you would have come into it somewhere though.

Well clearly that bit of the training isn't as effective as you thought.

Did the trainees get a farewell card and gift from the others in the office?

Yes there's always a farewell little buffet and lunch. It's a really positive workplace, we are treated well. I think the PP who said education doesn't develop this is right

I've been working for over thirty years and during that time there has definitely been a shift in many organisations away from the paternalistic, we're a family/friends approach, some of it down to changes in the law. There's more distance in relationships, people don't socialise with colleagues in the same way, they definitely don't go out drinking with colleagues in the same way we used to! This means working relationships tend to be more transactional.

Yet another thing to blame teachers for!

Examples from my workplace:

• moan that we haven't organised any social events recently. We organise one and hardly anyone goes. (Why does no-one just go out with their work colleagues to the pub after work on a Friday any more?? Why do I have to arrange and pay for some organised fun??)
• give a gift and Christmas bonus each year as well as pay for an all expenses paid party. Four or five people say thank you (all those over 40)
• moan that they're not happy with their (above inflation) payrise, yet barely ever turn up to work on time. And, when we say "any performance related payrise is dependent on your performance, including timekeeping" they reply "well, I'd have more of an incentive to get to work on time if you paid me more". Yeah mate, I'd have more of an incentive to pay you more if you got to work on time!
• realise that our contracts give them up to 20 days paid sick leave per year, so have been overheard basically telling others that they should use it!

Honestly, it's exhausting.

I'm kind of glad I'm not alone in this pain though!

Sounds like your organisation has a lot of management issues.

Is this an industry-specific expectation, receiving cards and gifts from trainees? I've mentored graduates, interns, students on work placements for 20 years, they say their thankyous and how much they enjoyed the experience and that's enough for me. I'd find it very odd to receive a gift from them.

My husband is a nurse and I work in a nursery so we see our fair share of students, trainees and work experience school pupils. We are always given a card/token gift at the end of their time. I wonder if it’s more common in these types of roles rather than a corporate/office type role.

We have a similar trainee set up where I work and I manage the trainees. They're an ungrateful, entitled bunch in the main. They're also crap at being proactive about their progress but will happily complain if they think they're not being stimulated enough.

Not teachers! The stupid push of ofsted/got to attendance and as a pp said , schools feeling grateful they even attend!

It's not an expectation but also not out of the realms of possibility to expect a nice email

I was thinking the same thing! I don’t see how this reflects badly on the young people at all, why the need for showy gifts and praise?

Our students generally get taken for a small lunch by the team they are placed in and given a gift (generally connected to their future career). They become part of the team and it's nice to mark the occasion 😀

Oh an email is fine. It's the card and gift I find odd.

I’m a nurse in a department that facilitates a lot of students. They invariably bring chocolates and cards on their last shift (once I even got a v nice bottle of wine from a med student!).

We certainly don’t expect it, but when a student takes the time to write a card saying how much they enjoyed the placement we feel really pleased that we’ve given them a positive experience, even if it’s not where they’d like to work when qualified.

Thank you! I was starting to feel mental at all the people 'not understanding' gifta on here!

I was at Costa the other day and someone gave the baristas a tin of celebrations for being so nice to their mother when she goes in. IT is normal to spread a bit of niceness!

There might be at your job but there certainly isn't at mine or many others.

There is turn up early, work late, for free, for minimum wage, put up with constant complaining (work with the public) and get absolutely nothing more than your basic pay.

I'm glad your workplace is a fun place to be but it is not universal - quite frankly I do not like my job but it pays the bills so I turn up.

OK but that has not been the case for the trainees at my place

Maybe they're miserable sods like me ;)

Your workplace sounds great but people are a mixed bag and young people just starting work can struggle with the expectations if its not what they are used to.

Totally agree with this @partyetiquette but reading this thread, there are a lot of people who seem to resent their workplace & their colleagues.

You & I are obviously lucky to work in collegial friendly workplaces.

Yes I've seen that at my local Caffé Nero. I thought what a nice gesture & I must remember to copy it, or give them a whacking great tip every now & then.

I think most work in ‘friendly’ workplaces but the gestures are generally between closer
groups. It shouldn’t be an expectation.