Young staff at work

[partyetiquette]

Hello this is a bit of a moan really , can't really talk about it in actual work as it wouldn't be my place to do so.
Each year, we have a set of new trainees, they are with us for between 3 and 7 months depending on their training. This last batch have been here 6 months. They are between 22 and 28. There are a team of 2 staff who look after them. These two have worked solidly for all of them for 6 months. They have also organised extra things for the trainees like birthday cakes etc A big part of their training is 'soft skills' as we do a lot of client work. The mentors have been unanimously good, professional etc. Our trainees left last week and not one of the 6 trainees gave their mentors a card, or a gift or even a nice email. The two mentors were quite inward about it and started to think maybe the trainees has been unhappy etc
Yesterday, we had a site visit from an equivalent company, the mentors there said the same!
Has this sort of normal niceties gone out of work?

Not representative at all of the situation or my post about it

The interns won’t know that what the staff did for them was above and beyond. Or what’s expected of themselves as interns.

Someone in the office they are pally with should say something by way of a hint. Along the lines of “How have you enjoyed working here? Oh good. Julie and Jim are great mentors aren’t they, I take it they’ve been really helpful? Oh that’s good. They always try so hard to make new staff feel welcome and do more than the just bare minimum. Just as a confidential heads up between you both and me, they’ll prob get you a leaving card so if you wanted to get them a thank you card or whatever it is allowed and Im sure they’d appreciate it.”

Was there any sort of thank you or goodbye to the mentors?

To be clear, are you paying these trainees?
There has been an (appalling imo) trend in the last decade or so for offering unpaid 'interships' to young people in certain industries and expecting them to be grateful that they got to be an unpaid office junior working 40 hours a week for free. They'd be doing work for free to get something to put on a CV that if they weren't there the company would have to actually spend money paying somebody to do.

This is really interesting. I have never bought a card or gift for a manager, boss, mentor etc. and to that end, it wouldn't be something I'd be suggesting / reminding my children to do either. My son is 22 and has an internship over summer - it wouldn't occur to me that he should be giving gifts to the people he works with at the end of the 6 weeks. I'm certain it wouldn't occur to him either. Perhaps I am missing something but it wouldn't be an obvious thing to me.

At my work I think that, like @ParmaVioletTea suggests, someone from the host team might have a word with one or two of the trainees and suggest they thank the two people supporting them, eg in person, at the trainees’ last team meeting, and/or by email.

Work is work, all this about "thank you cards and gifts" is completely unnecessary. Toughen up and dont be a snowflake.

I agree entirely with you OP. There's quite a few 'younger people' at my workplace. Honestly the work ethic is shit. There's literally 10 years between us and the difference is staggering. There's no drive like offering to try something or showing a thank you for mentoring. How hard is a card? And some biscuits?

Or when they do come to work it's late and they look totally appalled they aren't allowed to be on social media during working hours for example. Or that they are expected to dress in a business manner eg not leggings.

Even offer to get in on the tea round. I don't expect them to make everyone a drink all the time but I expect them to offer when they take one from others offering.

I work in higher education, not teaching, but in a role that involves spending a lot of time providing support and mentoring for individual students. 10 years ago I often received thank you cards, I haven't had one for at least five years now. I have questioned sometimes if the change is me, but it does definitely sit within a cultural shift where the university is almost desperately grateful for students being there.

To be clear, are you paying these trainees?
There has been an (appalling imo) trend in the last decade or so for offering unpaid 'interships' to young people in certain industries and expecting them to be grateful that they got to be an unpaid office junior working 40 hours a week for free.

In many professions practice placements are required as part of their professional qualification. Students are learning the complexities of the job, soft skills and demonstrating competence. Mentoring is in addition to the mentors own role and involves a lot of support, practice
discussion and observation. It’s not the same as an unpaid office junior.

not at all reflective of my post

How do you know when their birthdays are? That in itself seems odd. Do they tell you? Do you have a calendar where everyone marks their birthday?

because people talk to each other

I've been in the workplace for 25 years. Never occurred to me to buy a card or present to say thank you to a colleague.

But it does happen, whether it occurs to you or not

But not doing it isn't necessarily a young person thing or indeed notable as any lapse in etiquette

So, they actually tell you? Not “Jane said it’s Mary’s birthday next week”?

Totally agree with you on this. There enough to cope with starting a new job/career without remembering all these unwritten rules about what to buy and when. I remember having to do the cakes thing when it was my birthday in the office. There were a lot of people in the team and I didn’t have a car. It was a total pain. Stuff like this contributed to why I became a self-employed contractor. You are there to focus on the job and can give most of this stuff a body swerve.

Yes of course- "What are you up to this week?" "Well, it's my birthday on Monday so I'm off out" etc etc just normal conversation

It's notable as it is dying out- as PP also said

But do you expect for everyone to then care about that, or just your closest colleagues? To link it directly to the situation in your OP, if the staff have said thank you verbally to the people delivering the training, then that’s that. Not everything needs to be materialised.

Or was never a thing except in your specific industry

no, my point was the mentors have gone over and above-

not at all- I know lots of different workplaces where little acts of kindness are part of the culture

That’s ok if they tell you. But it’s worth checking because of GDPR surrounding information. Companies have to:

• Ask for consent to keep a list of birthdays and use people's addresses to send birthday cards,
• Ensure that any objections to uses of personal data are recorded, and systems are in place to ensure these objections are passed on to relevant systems/departments.