Non-binary teacher?

[Thompson198]

Name change.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter due to go into year 2 in September. We’ve just been told that the teacher for next year is a non-binary/‘non-gender-conforming’ man who wants to be referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.
Quite a few of the parents have already complained and started looking for other places at local schools because of this.
what do you think?
My daughter has SEN and is one of the youngest in her class, I worry how she’s going to be able to keep up with the pronouns and understand this without us having to teach her about gender ideology at her age. My husband is extremely against teaching her gender ideology, especially so young, I’m not the most positive about it either but don’t feel as strongly as him. He also doesn’t want her being at the school in September but they have been very supportive for her so far and I’m concerned it might not be the same elsewhere.
Thoughts? How would you feel if this was your child’s teacher?

This nonsense does not belong in a school

It literally said in the first sentence of the OP how it was pronounced.

Oh Lor. Children with ASCs and other SEN quite often have trouble with pronouns and means of address. (I have experience!) And they are extra vulnerable to abuse.

I would tell DD that some teachers like to be called "Mx" and other teachers like to be called "Mr" (men) or "Ms" (women). "Mx" can be either a man or a woman. This teacher is a man who likes to be called "Mx". (Leave "Mrs" and "Miss" for later) You may need to explain to DD about they/them pronouns if everyone else is using them but no way should the school pressure DD to against using he/she or other sex-based langauge. They/them confuses number as well as sex and is very bad for clear communication.

If the school might give your DD any bother at all you go in there and repeat "It's too complicated, DD needs to use he (or Mr) as a reasonable adjustment to her SEN and this is a safeguarding issue" And no you will not be reinforcing anything else at home because your DD first and foremost needs to understand and clearly express what sex people are for safeguarding reasons.

If you have options I would remove my child as well.

The chances that he will ‘just’ be an excellent/competent or even mediocre teacher as opposed to one who will center his personal identity in the classroom are vanishingly small.

With regards do the religion analogy I think it would be difficult to expect a young child to reconcile ‘your teacher believes this but we believe that’

He will present as an authority figure telling your child biological sex can be usurped by gender identity. This is destabilising.

It is a name. Judge the teacher/person not what they call themselves. I doubt the pronouns will be used properly but it won't matter I imagine that is mainly for the parents use as most of the time it will be Mx Smith etc

With reassurance from the Head than no gender discussions would go on in the classroom

It doesn't matter. He's forced the issue anyway.

Regardless the OP will have to have a confused conversation with her young, SEN child about how some men are somehow 'not men'.

Edited to remove post

What possible measures do you think we will be able to use to verify non binary identities? We already know there's so much thing as male and female brains, let alone neither.

Mormonism is more common than "non binary", do you think there must be something in that as well? What about believing that vaccines cause autism? Since when do we give credence to obvious absurdities simply because large numbers of people believe in them?

Why not wait to see how much teaching time is taken up pandering to this man’s identity issues.

Having come out of a 7-8 year struggle with a trans identifying child who now finally accepts (happily and of her own free will) that she is female despite social media and her school’s PSHE lessons teaching her otherwise 6-7 years ago, I’d avoid this school like the plague.

Under no circumstances should children as young as 4 have to navigate pronouns and gender ideology. I’d have no faith whatsoever in a school that promoted it. I’d be applying to other schools and possible writing to the LEA citing the Cass Report findings and the recent SC ruling.

I agree, and if he was masquerading as a woman and telling 6 year old children to deny the evidence they can clearly see, I’d have an issue.

But as he wants to be Mx, I’d wait and see. Teachers can be Dr or Rev, a title doesn’t have to be about sex. With pronouns it can be as easy as “Mx Teacher likes it better if we say They, but it doesn’t matter much”.

A school that supports a child with SEN isn’t something to be sneezed at. If it looks like Mx Nonbinary is pedalling his ideology the OP can go down the home educating route she mentioned.

Er, literally since religion was invented!

Yes because saying Mx instead of Mr takes up so much more time.

What on earth are you on about ‘Mormonism’s’ 😂

I have zero patience for non-binary people. It's ridiculous. You can't opt out of being a man or a woman. What, so a man can't get prostate cancer because he's non-binary? A woman can't get pregnant because she's non-binary? Ridiculous. Biological reality always wins out.

I would actually view this like a teacher having a very visible religious affiliation that the kids need to remember every time they address them. I don't think that's appropriate tbh. A teacher can wear a cross or headscarf but that doesn't involve the students having to change their vocabulary when interacting with them.

There’s a whole lot of sexism that needs to be addressed in schools before we need to worry about this largely non issue.

Find another school. This man’s need and that of the school to confuse the kids is wrong.

The biggest issue here will be what happens when the children refer to him as Mr or he/him. If the teacher just corrects them kindly and there are no repercussions, then that would be fine IMO. "Oh Suzy, I am Mix Jones, remember" in a friendly way, it will be fine.

If he emails in complaints or moans to SLT, then I would be in having words.

I wouldn't get into any of that. I'd just say this is his name and it's a bit different to usual names but try and remember it. And I wouldn't say anything to them about his requested they/them pronouns at all.

False equivalence.
One can be gay.
One cannot be gender neutral.

Mormonism is a religious/philosophical belief shared by many people.

So is non binary.

I think I’d wait to see what the young teacher is like and then decide. If the teacher or school is pushing gender ideology then that would be a red flag as small children are very impressionable. It’s important the school is following the gender questioning education policy in regards to children https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf]]]]

The school is not allowed to teach gender ideology, although they must be respectful to everyone https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2024/05/new-rshe-guidance-what-it-means-for-sex-education-lessons-in-schools/ educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2024/05/new-rshe-guidance-what-it-means-for-sex-education-lessons-in-schools/]]]]

At home I would kindly and casually explain that this is a male who likes to wear ladies clothes. I wouldn’t say much beyond that to prevent confusion.

You make a really good point. I also know quite a few excellent gay male Headteachers who are phenomenal leaders and great advocates for children.

My concern in this case would be the promotion of ‘you can be whatever you want to be including 99 genders’ bullshit. The gender lobby seem to want everyone to deny the reality of biological sex and this throws mostly girls and women under the bus. Our basic biology is fundamental to many of the disadvantages and power imbalance we encounter over a lifetime. If you deny sex, you deny sexism.

If people quietly got on living their lives like they did back in the day, no one would give a shit. But now it’s becoming a serious infringement of the rights, safeties and dignity of females. Not to mention the danger of life changing medical interventions being administered to minors in the name of gender affirming care.

Who benefits from pandering to this ideology? Not girls, not women, not children. It’s only men.

Think about that.

Judging by many of the replies on this thread, this teacher might well be a breath of fresh air — someone who not only brings something new to the classroom, but who could also quietly help other kids (and parents) feel more free to be themselves. It’s hard to see that as anything but a good thing in the long run. And if it helps raise a generation that’s a bit more open-minded and a bit less cruel, that’s something I’d welcome.

He’s non binary not a transvestite.