Non-binary teacher?

[Thompson198]

Name change.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter due to go into year 2 in September. We’ve just been told that the teacher for next year is a non-binary/‘non-gender-conforming’ man who wants to be referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.
Quite a few of the parents have already complained and started looking for other places at local schools because of this.
what do you think?
My daughter has SEN and is one of the youngest in her class, I worry how she’s going to be able to keep up with the pronouns and understand this without us having to teach her about gender ideology at her age. My husband is extremely against teaching her gender ideology, especially so young, I’m not the most positive about it either but don’t feel as strongly as him. He also doesn’t want her being at the school in September but they have been very supportive for her so far and I’m concerned it might not be the same elsewhere.
Thoughts? How would you feel if this was your child’s teacher?

This.

At the very least he is a narcissistic navel gazer who wants young children to validate him.

I wouldn't subject my young child to that. Imagine the toxicity if one of the tiny children forgets they are supposed to pretend it's not a man right infront of them.

It’s a big NO from me. Children ask questions and the first one from the kids will be “sir, why are you called Mx?”
That then leads to a conversation around gender that is based on sex stereotypes that I don’t think is healthy at 5 years old. The kids should be growing up knowing it’s ok to be feminine or masculine regardless of their sex, not because they are a feminine man, they’re now non-binary.
Any teacher worth their salt should know that.

I don't do this crap. I wouldn't force it on a child. 'Correct pronouns' nonsense.

Are they supposed actually pronounce it “mixx Johnson?” What’s the gender neutral term for “sir” or “miss” - do they just call out mixx again?

Is it too difficult for a five year old to understand that we respect peoples' own wishes about what they are called?

At 65 I'm old enough to remember the sort of views espoused by the OP being aired over the use of Ms by women.

The teacher has a right to teach, but in my view no right to impose his beliefs on others.

I agree.

You mentioned your daughter has SEN. If she is or could possibly be autistic I'd run a mile.

That's really not the same as teaching five year olds that people can choose whether to be a man, woman or neither.

What happens if a person does understand and doesn't like it-because it isn't true?

I posted above about my DC being corrected for saying 'she'. I would have taken it further if they had been told off for doing it.

At 65 I'm old enough to remember the sort of views espoused by the OP being aired over the use of Ms by women

I hear what you are saying @Bromptotoo but I don’t think it’s the same thing. This man wants the children to believe he’s neither male or female when they can clearly see he is a man. Calling a woman Ms doesn’t relying on any pretence or disbelief.

Except that Mix is not a proper title in the English language. It's just made up bollocks by a mentally confused person.

I think if you don’t speak to her then she will be learning about gender ideology from others/school regardless of if her teacher is NB. If you don’t believe people can change sex you have to actively counter what institutions teach. If you do not then your child learns incorrect information. Autistic children are over represented in teen trans individuals.

my kids autistic. I did not send him to one provision as it taught gender ideology as fact. I find it incredibly sexist to attribute everything male or female and restrict the interests and enjoyment of children by these sexist boxes. Puberty blockers and cross sex hormones have long term damaging side effects. No girl should be taught males can violate boundaries there for her dignity and safety. If you don’t move your child’s school she will be taught gender ideology. Not sit down lessons like a religious ceremony it is drip drip drip comments, books read, educational videos with an abundance of trans characters, etc just shoved on them

I think it is a disgrace that this is foisted upon children.

At what point do we say that the combined impact on others is greater than the benefit for a single person?

If someone wants to call themself by a made up title then that’s their choice but not one that others should be mandated to follow.

We appear to have reached a ridiculous situation now whereby anyone fitting into one of a multitude of minority groups has almost total control over everyone else.

That isn’t integration. Forcing unreasonable change on the majority isn’t the answer and in many cases simply serves to make the situation worse.

Requested pronouns, not correct ones

I wouldn't care, I'm not a transphobe. Obviously because this is mumsnet 99% of people will be up in arms.

Its up to you to decide whether you feel happy with the school and sort alternative provision if you're not.

I would be very unimpressed and seriously consider looking for another school.

I would also have a question in my mind as to why this person was choosing to work with such very young children. Are they wanting to push a particular ideology to the kids? There can be a sexual kick for some men in dressing at women, for example, and some men have described a particular kick out of shocking people, or shocking children with their dress. I would be wondering a lot about how this person presents themselves and what is going on with them psychologically.

The reception teacher (also male) at my children's school was absolutely fantastic and a big part of why I felt so happy about having chosen that school. It is great for children to have a male role model alongside the many female teachers. I would be quite concerned about potential for confusion for the children (and also that the individual themselves might be potentially confused in various ways).

Mind you, our kids went to a C of E school and I suspect the board of governors would have been unhappy about this appointment.

As a teacher myself my only concern would be about how the ‘gender identity’ of this teacher would spill out into the classroom and beyond. If they are going to be having regular conversations with the children about it and pushing an agenda, I would be worried. This is what as a parent I would want to speak to the Head about and receive reassurance. I would do the same if I knew the teacher were affiliated strongly with a particular political group or religion - neutrality and open mindedness is so important in teaching to ensure children are not unduly influenced by a teacher’s worldview.

I wouldn’t have a problem with the teacher being Mx or the ‘they/them’ pronouns - children are quick learners and adaptable. The reality is these kids will be growing up in a world where these pronouns are used by people and so it is a preparation for them to cope in a diverse world.

I don't think it’s appropriate to suggest teachers who wish to identify as non binary shouldn’t be in front of young children as that puts us on a slippery slope. I am gender critical but I would not support people withdrawing children from a school because a teacher is non binary. That’s point blank discrimination. As another poster has said - where do we draw the line?

Very well put.

This is someone who has declared themselves ‘non binary’ so is probably a confused gen z lad rather than some old horny perv getting off on dressing as a woman (which is what autogyntaphilia is - sorry can’t spell it).

Making wild statements like this undermines the genuine debate points and real concerns that gender critical posters have.

So first year teaching and already making waves. Good luck to "them".

I’m gender critical but I am also interested in grammar and language evolution.

“they”, “them” and “their” is very well established in English when the sex of the person is not known or one is talking about individuals from within mixed group “If anyone asks, tell them they can buy water in the shop across the road” or “the owner of that car needs to come back and collect their bag from inside”. Totally normal.

I’ve actually noticed that my 8 year-old will default to using “they” even when he does know the sex eg “Who was that you were playing with today?” “That’s Daisy, they joined the school in Year 2”
(Daisy is entirely binary and has no issue with being called “she”).

It’s an interesting linguistic evolution and he’s not doing it because he’s had any indoctrination about trans ideology. Funnily enough it’s very much the opposite, gender and sex matter so little to him that he doesn’t feel the need to highlight it in his language.

To answer OP’s question, I actually think that non- binary is something that it’s fine for a teacher to model and a little kid will just learn the person’s name and go with it, same way they’d have to learn a tricky pronounciation of Balasubramanian or Llwellyn or MacInnerny. What’s the difference between a teacher wanting to be “Ms” (“Miz”) instead of “Mrs” even though she tells her class she is married? Is that “denying reality”?

On the other hand I would disagree with a male to female trans teacher wanting to be called Ms, Miss or Mrs as that is using a label assigned to people of the opposite sex.

No issue with a teacher whose ideology is that sex and gender are irrelevant to how they live their life, as long as it is not preached in a heavy-handed way and kids are not punished for using a gendered title by mistake.

Lots of issues with a teacher who tries to convince kids they have changed sex.

So if your childs teacher identified as a mutant alien cat, you'd be ok with that. Because that's the same batshittery as a man saying he's non binary. Pull his pants down and he'll have a meat and two veg ffs

All titles are made up.
I remember the hostile reaction those of us who wanted to use Ms got in the 1980s.

Read your schools bullying policy. Safeguarding policy. Etc

my dd school had a two day internal suspension for misgendering as it was seen as bullying. The trans ideology was across curriculum PSHE was quite frankly grooming but the books read at carpet time were all trans ideology books. My dd if gender critical like me so not at risk but it was everywhere until I decided to hone school