Non-binary teacher?

[Thompson198]

Name change.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter due to go into year 2 in September. We’ve just been told that the teacher for next year is a non-binary/‘non-gender-conforming’ man who wants to be referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.
Quite a few of the parents have already complained and started looking for other places at local schools because of this.
what do you think?
My daughter has SEN and is one of the youngest in her class, I worry how she’s going to be able to keep up with the pronouns and understand this without us having to teach her about gender ideology at her age. My husband is extremely against teaching her gender ideology, especially so young, I’m not the most positive about it either but don’t feel as strongly as him. He also doesn’t want her being at the school in September but they have been very supportive for her so far and I’m concerned it might not be the same elsewhere.
Thoughts? How would you feel if this was your child’s teacher?

It's not 'biased' to think that sex is relevant to safeguarding. As males and females don't present the same level of risk.
And so lying about sex is also relevant.

But I presume when you normally say "I don't know" you're not lying to them?

But if you know someone is male then you'd be lying if you said you didn't know when asked?

Massive difference

I am highly gender critical but I don’t think the title thing is much of an issue.

Traditional titles are a bit batshit anyway - you’ve got Man (Mr), married woman (Mrs) and unmarried woman (Miss). Hideously sexist and regressive.

I would just explain that there are women who don’t think their title should be defined by whether they are married or not (Ms), and people who don’t think their title should be defined by sex (Mx). Doesn’t need to be a huge debate about gender ideology.

It hasn't been my experience that it's been taught as fact with no counter argument being allowed, especially among six-year-olds, but our education systems are obviously very different.

You see, we simply do not know.
They might’ve grown a penis one fine Friday evening. Like an axolotl. Then dropped it off like lizard drops his tail.

We simply do not know…

Or perhaps a magic act of painting one’s toenails miraculously alters their DNA or something. Difficult to say🤔

It depends on the ethos of the school and the HT.
Some HTs are still ignoring the guidelines around this they are just guides and not requirements.

In Part 2 of the Teachers’ Standards, teachers are required not to express personal beliefs in ways which exploit pupils’ vulnerability.

I would argue that a personal belief that sex is not real, binary or immutable undermines understanding of the nature of sex and reproduction in a way that is fundamentally harmful to children’s learning and development, and that expressing this belief by requiring children under one’s care to subscribe to and validate it by the use of chosen titles and pronouns is very much exploiting their vulnerability.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a750668ed915d3c7d529cad/Teachers_standard_information.pdf

Sometimes I lie to them, yes. Like when they asked how Santa gets around the world in one night.

I'm not much of a black and white thinker when it comes to lying to children. I think parenting involves more nuance than to see all lies as harmful and fundamentally wrong.

In OP's case, the parents were informed. Had they not been, her little one would have gone to school, come out and talked about how Mx had them doing some activity or other, and OP would have been none-the-wiser about whether Mx was a man or a woman. And no harm would have befallen anyone in the scenario. So saying "I don't know", while not strictly true, is a harmless white lie that will help everyone navigate their way through and the world will keep turning.

I have a family member who transitioned, egged on by an activist teacher.

She has since detransitioned, but has been left with on going health issues due to the hormones she took. Thankfully she did not have surgery. Her mental health is not great right now, there's a lot of regret and concern for the future.

She was a teenager at the time, not six, but I would be extremely wary of activist teachers in a general sense. They can do a lot of harm, even if they think they're fighting the good fight.

This!

What does it mean then?

Declaring yourself ‘non-binary’ surely makes you binary? So you’re either non-binary (whatever that means) or you’re not? Jokes on them no?

I’d treat it like religion, you can believe whatever you want but you can’t foist said beliefs on others and present it as fact, and that the teacher is male no matter what they think about themselves. As long as the child receives no punishment for calling a man a man.

The pearl clutching on this thread, my goodness. Your child is there to learn. And it is a fact that some people prefer different pronouns, whether you agree or not. School seems as good a place as any to learn that.

The damage that can be done to a young child especially one who's nd in a year by one ideologically driven teacher, which he has already proved himself to be by demanding that children adhere to his nonsensical made up title and grammatically incorrect use of they/them could well be irreversible.
Personally I wouldn't risk it and would remove my child from the situation and make it clear why. This dangerous ideology has no place in a primary school classroom

I’ve yet to hear a convincing explanation of what it does mean. Perhaps you could supply one?

I personally don't think this a big deal and children are generally very accepting and adapt quickly. I don't think you need to go down a rabbit hole with this, just explain that's their preference and to try and respect it where possible.

Bringing Santa into this makes the whole thing sound even worse btw.

These children are young enough to believe in Santa and the Tooth fairy - yet you're happy to confuse them about the basics of biology and people's sex. It beggars belief.

That's a shame and I truly hope she gets well and healthy.

I don't personally think this situation falls into the category of activism. All OP knows is that her child's new teacher will be Mx and is non-binary. There's no reason to think they'll start trying to get six-year-olds to transition.

Answer it in an age appropriate way. Dont judge this person before meeting them. Could be am amazing teacher.

If he’s a good teacher, I wouldn’t care. Kids are very tolerant. Privately I would think it was silly but wouldn’t say so to my child.

So if a divorced woman wants you to call them Ms, you'd tell them not to be so silly and pick miss or mister?

6 year olds will be very familiar with Mr/Mrs/Miss/Lord/Lady/Majesty etc.. but not all this gender bollocks crap like Mx....

Well I've just had a chat with the year 7s (I'm in a lesson with them) and asked if they'd ever heard addressing someone as Mx...

'What, you mean like calling a teacher Mix Smith not Mr Smith?'
Me - 'yes'
'what? that doesn't even make sense'
'Like mixing a cake?'
'I'd call him Mixter smith?'
'No! little mix smith!'
'Big mix Smith!'
'You sound like you've got a lisp'
'What if his first name is Mick....Mix Mick Smith'.....lots of laughing....

Yeah don't think it's going to go down well with 6 year olds.

It is a fact that humans sex is binary and immutable. Seems extraordinary to me that you'd be prepared to teach your child something different.

But by respecting an individual’s want to be neither male nor female harms children.

Humans are only male or female, they cannot change sex under any circumstances. It’s not a case of “biology is a bit more complicated than you learnt as a teenager”, it’s actual
fact that whilst there are variations in how we look, we are still either male or female. Lying to children and gaslighting a population that this isn’t a big deal is not ok.

Children need to know who people are to keep safe. Over the last 15 years here I’ve read countless threads about “tell your child if they get lost to go to a woman, or a mother with children” because we all know that statistically men are much less safe than women. We’re into a bonkers era where too many children rely on stereotypes and that fucking nonsense gender to identify who people are. It’s not safe, it’s stupid, and it’s making our children either stupid, or they’re being told they’re basically homophobic bigots for knowing there are two sexes.

Please make it stop, I’m so beyond the point of thinking humans should just go extinct because so many are so fucking thick!

This teacher isn't looking to change their sex

It really won't be just about the title for this man! He will be infecting the school with gender ideology in all sorts of insidious, or not so insidious ways, including via other staff.