To think DD should get place at nursery over children deferring reception?

[Matronic6]

DD has been at a nursery part time since she turned 1. In March we asked about going full time in August for nursery room and were told it would be 'no problem' as so many were leaving for reception and we had asked so early.
We emailed to confirm we had a place for August, and they said it'd be mid August.

I confirmed with my work that I will go back full time in August. I previously phoned nursery in early May to confirm she had a full time spot to commit to my employer. The only thing is it was verbal, I have gone through emails and at no point have they said 'DD has a place starting August xx'

We have just got an email asking if we were still interested in a full time place. We were confused but replied yes we still needed the full time slot. They have since replied that due to high numbers of children deferring reception and a lot of requests for FT there is less places in nursery and they could not confirm a place at this time but will update us.

AIBU to think that this is firstly really unprofessional and secondly DS should be prioritised for a place over children who said they were leaving but are now deferring reception entry?

Why should she be prioritised?

I doubt the parents of the kids deferring actually gave notice then rescinded it. More likely the nursery made a presumption they’d be leaving for school in September, because that is the usually done thing, and that they would have spaces as a result and it’s only just come to light now because the notice hasn’t been given as expected. You can’t seriously expect the kids to get kicked out though to make room for your DD to go full time, annoying as it is!

Assuming it's a private nursery you are paying for then there is no hierarchy as to who gets a place.

The onus was on you to ensure you had confirmation in writing unfortunately.

Have they advised you when you will know?

I think the whole deferring places trend is a bit ridiculous. Many (not all) parents are misusing it to give their kid some kind of advantage.

Meanwhile, my August 2021 kid could be starting school with a May 2020 kid this year. Almost 18 months older?! I feel my kid is fine with starting school but it does seem to mess up the system somewhat, and more and more people are doing it.

Is your DD already in the nursery room?

I know for a fact one child has confirmed they were going and had even gone to a welcome day at new school but parent has changed their mind as they didn't like it on the day. And another had also given notice as they were meant to be moving but this is now no longer happening.

I should make clear, my issue is that they were both part time but now want full time as well. So I am not saying we should get their place rather we should get the full time place we were initially confirmed as having?

How do the deferred kids get an advantage? They just skip reception and join their normal cohort in year 1

You should have got confirmation of her space in writing. I'd never go on the basis of a verbal agreement.

Can you explain why your desire for a nursery place should overrule another parents’ desire for a nursery place? Cos I’m not seeing it.

You should have got confirmation in writing that she had a place before telling your work. Lesson learned.

You’ll need to look into other childcare options or talk to your employer, like everybody else does.

No, they don’t. They start reception with the year below their cohort by age.

Or to reduce disadvantage. DD was the youngest in her year and a little research after her ADHD diagnosis showed that more of the younger children receive a diagnosis because the expectations of their behaviour are too high. Top sportspeople are often the oldest in their year. It is a very pervasive and problematic issue.

I did start DD ‘on time’ but it is a disadvantage and I understand why parents do it.

And no OP, I don’t know why your child should be prioritised.

I bet this is the shitshow of Scottish school deferrrals.

I think the youngest 2 months should be able to defer, any very prem babies or ASN. Otherwise no.

or stop the extra nursery year and watch the deferrals ‘needed’ fall

I'm not saying that my desire trumps another, I'm saying that the fact the nursery told us on three occasions that we had a FT place for August in April andau should trump people who are asking for FT place now, 3 months later.

Yabu I think. Although the nursery should have been more transparent with you and said that they expected X number of children to leave for reception but couldn’t confirm the place until the parents of those children officially gave notice.

If said children were part time and only now want to go full time (after you made your request), or had given notice and now changed their mind, I agree your daughter should be given priority.

If the nursery just assumed they’d be leaving because of their date of birth, and they already have a full time space, no they shouldn’t have that taken away because you want the space.

I think the person who said they wanted a full time place first should get priority.

I think the deferring reception thing is a red herring. I agree your DD should get a place as you asked first!

But as you have nothing in writing I wouldn’t know what to advise.

I agree with you OP. There is usually a waiting list for places. Your name should have been at the top.l for a full time place as soon as one came up.
However, it seems this did not happen and you have nothing in writing. I would be really annoyed if ai had asked them but there is probably not much you can do now except find a childminder for the other days.

She should get priority over new full time applicants but not those already there. Plans change unfortunately.

I agree it must be annoying but they can't boot out people who have an existing rolling contract. Yes they might have given notice and then had a change of mind but the contract is still in force. It would be quite hostile to insist on enforcing the notice.

It is probably annoying for the nursery too as it is financially and organisationally better to have FT kids rather than PT ones. We had this with an after school childminder - arranged a place 5 days a week. Then a family who had 3 days a week had a move that fell through snd stayed. So she only had space to offer us 2 days a week which didn't work for us. And she was lumbered with 3 days money rather than the 5 we would have paid as no one wanted to fill the random 2 days!

YANBU at all. They never should have told you it was sorted if there was a chance it wouldn't be. It's unreasonable of them to suddenly spring it on you last minute that she doesn't have a place. Those saying yabu seem to think it'll be easy for you to suddenly find a full time place somewhere else within a month when you already had it sorted.

Gotcha. In that case the deferral point is irrelevant. You were first on the waiting list for a full time place because you asked first. Therefore you should get the first full time place that becomes available. Others that asked after you to move from PT to FT should not get to leapfrog you on the waitlist. How old is your DD? The only reason I can think of that would explain this decision would be ratio related- if logistically they could take the other kids FT because they’re at a higher ratio because they’re older but they couldn’t take yours because she’s younger with a lower ratio and they don’t have the staff. Otherwise I agree with you that it’s grossly unfair. But deferral doesn’t come into it.

Unfortunately you didn't push for written conformation that your DD had the place so I don't think you have a leg to stand on. If you asked and were told you had a place, then yes you should be given a place, but if you can't prove that then the rest is not really relevant.

That is separate from deferring. Simply deferring means they will start in year 1.
If you wish them to start in reception it is an entirely separate process and they the parent would need to make a request to the school’s admission authority. The U.K. government website calls this ‘requesting admission out of the normal age group’. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/summer-born-children-school-admission/summer-born-children-starting-school-advice-for-parents#delaying-your-childs-school-start

Yes, the nursery should prioritise your child over parents who have changed their minds especially if those parents actually gave notice. I completely understand why you're annoyed.