To think DD should get place at nursery over children deferring reception?

[Matronic6]

DD has been at a nursery part time since she turned 1. In March we asked about going full time in August for nursery room and were told it would be 'no problem' as so many were leaving for reception and we had asked so early.
We emailed to confirm we had a place for August, and they said it'd be mid August.

I confirmed with my work that I will go back full time in August. I previously phoned nursery in early May to confirm she had a full time spot to commit to my employer. The only thing is it was verbal, I have gone through emails and at no point have they said 'DD has a place starting August xx'

We have just got an email asking if we were still interested in a full time place. We were confused but replied yes we still needed the full time slot. They have since replied that due to high numbers of children deferring reception and a lot of requests for FT there is less places in nursery and they could not confirm a place at this time but will update us.

AIBU to think that this is firstly really unprofessional and secondly DS should be prioritised for a place over children who said they were leaving but are now deferring reception entry?

I phoned a another mum from the nursery to ask her thoughts on it and what I should do. It turns out that the nearby outstanding school nursery has been judged good in a recent Ofsted. And that this nursery is expected to announce an outstanding rating very soon. A few parents who had handed in their notice are now changing their minds and want to stay put.

@Matronic6 Have you responded to the email from the nursery?

I would respond in a confused tone saying, "We discussed this back in March and then confirmed in May that DD would be full time from August. I double checked this with you before committing to go back to work full time. Are you sure you aren't confusing us with another family? Because we definitely confirmed this with you months ago and I don't have time to find another childcare solution before I go back to work full time next month."

It’s a private nursery so they can apply what ever criteria to their admissions process unless it is discriminatory of course.

But YANBU, if people want to defer reception start I do believe they shouldn’t be taking childcare places from children who have no other options. I say this as a a family of all summer born children. Myself, my dad, sister, brother, DH, and DS are all born in July or August. I actually think delaying reception should be completely scrapped

No, you don't get priority. The current children are attending, for example, 4 mornings a week. You want full time. For that to happen, you need to have a spot on those mornings as well as the missing afternoons and the extra day. You need the current children gone whether you want their part time hours or full time. They're not leaving and their reasons are none of your business.

The nursery are unreasonable to have promised you a space only to rescind that offer with such little notice though.

Because the parents deferring are taking up space in nursery for an extra year. Out of choice. Whereas those who are not basically repeating a year will have nowhere to go.

And if the now deferring parents gave notice a term ago as is normal and have only recently changed their mind then they should be behind the OP in the waitlist.

We have done this so hopefully will hear back tomorrow.

I kind of think the nursery can't win though. If someone decides to defer reception, and then comes back to the nursery and the nursery refuse to take them, they are going to be just as annoyed as you are.

There’s no advantage tho. Unless your kid is really behind in speech and/or struggle to learn basic ABC there’s barely any difference between that 12 months and school is when you start to improve. If anything it’s a disadvantage. They might be better (than themselves a year prior, not better than others) in their year but they’ll be still in nursery with the babies!

Both me and my son are young ones and have done great. I’m no genius but def better than average in school. They’ll be gutted if their kid is a bit of a dim wit anyway and still bottom of the class. Cringe. Also, fuck paying an extra years childcare cost on the off chance your kid might not be bottom of the class just because they’re older.

Good luck!

Im surprised than several parents are doing this because deferring costs the parent an extra year of nursery fees. That’s serious money.

Could you point me to the research that shows there is no advantage? I reached the topic extensively before deciding to defer our DC and there is significant evidence to show that summer born children are at a disadvantage not just at school but throughout their lives. They are more likely to go to prison, more likely to have mental health issues, the list goes on.
We could find no reasons not to defer DC and it has turned out to be the best decision we ever made. They are thriving at school.
It really winds me up every time this topic comes up on Mumsnet. So much misinformation and uninformed opinions. It is very easy to defer and they will not go into Y1, just start reception a year later.
In regards to the OP this has nothing to do with deferral. The nursery should never have offered you a space and then gone back on it. However it surprises me that the kids who are deferring affect your DC place. Surely babies and pre schoolers are in completely different rooms and require a different ratio. I think they have made a mistake and are bullshitting you

Parents are deferring as its easier, especially if there is another sibling at nursery. It's more logistics than anything else as well as the explosion of kids with additional needs that get deferred. I wonder if a lot more kids get deferredsince the introduction of 30 hours. We used to breath a sigh of relief when childcare fees ended.

Agree - this whole deferring thing is going insane.

I'd focus on the fact that they verbally confirmed that a full time place was agreed, and you've arranged your work around it. They have already made an offer and you'd already accepted.

That should come before people who haven't enquired about a full time place til now, whether they're deferred or not

No parents are deferring because they have educated themselves on the topic and made an informed opinion on the massive amount of evidences which shows that summer born children are at a disadvantage. Why would you not do the best by your child if you’re able to financially afford another year of nursery fees?

@Firefliesaremagicwow so defensive. As you have your experience of your child not being ready to start, I have my own which is the exact opposite. I guess some are more ready than others no matter the age, and that’s ok if your child needed an extra year. Some of ours didn’t

This - you should have written if you wanted a written response. You phoned, they assumed there would be plenty of reception leavers, and then they presumably got written requests and fulfilled those.

If you're altering a contract, ALWAYS put it in writing.

Completely agree. People round near me are doing it and I do like these people but with a small May born boy it’s pissing me off. As it’s skewing the year group by a year and a half as opposed a year.

I agree with you. You requested it first. Why should others leapfrog over you in the queue because they've changed their mind at the last minute? Tell them you are still taking the place they offered you in March and confirmed in May.

Someone has to be the youngest, but the disadvantage is lessened if the youngest has a bit more time under their belt, i.e. a youngest who is 5 will be less disadvantaged than a youngest who is 4.5.

We have deferred our son, who is january born (in Scotland) and might therefore have been a full 11 months younger than the older kids (more if those older kids were also deferrals from the previous year). He'll now be a little over 5.5 when he starts school and therefore one of the oldest in the class. If other parents make the same choice as us then the youngest in the class is likely to be nearer 5 than 4.5, and thus there shouldn't be such a stark difference.

If the nursery confirmed the place for your DC then you should get the place.

Dropped DD off today and it was clear a few parents had got a similar email to us. Seems to be at least 5 kids who were due to be leaving this summer are now staying. One was having a heated conversation with the office and another two were waiting.

We also got 2 emails. The first one announcing the nursery getting outstanding in the recent Ofsted.

The second explaining that there had been a lot of requests for full time places from September and a high number of kids staying on. They said there was staff miscommunication yesterday and confirmed that DD does indeed have a full time place from August and apologised for causing us worry.

Apparently some of the parents who have changed their mind have been told they may not have a place at all.

That is great that they have confirmed your DCs place.

@whatcanthematterbe81
Your opinion is based on circumstantial evidence regarding your own child. Please point me in the direction of the research that shows that there is no advantage to deferring a summer born . As I said I am very researched in the topic and there are many studies which say the exact opposite of what you’re saying. We based our decision to defer on this fact. There are literally no documented disadvantages to deferring.