To be upset by DH’s ‘itinerary’ for best friends stag do?

[Lau93]

DH is the best man for his closest friend who is getting married at the end of the July - the stag is next week in Prague.

DH has organised it and I’ve seen the ‘itinerary’ he has put in the group chat. For one of the nights he has put the name of a strip club and underneath various prices, similar to this:

Entry (compulsory) - £cost
Dance for the stag (compulsory) - £cost
Private dance - £cost
Table dance - £cost
Extras -£enquire direct

His defence is that it is to help everyone plan costs and that a couple of the single members of the group (which is about 10-15 strong) have kept asking so this will shut them up.

I am not naive enough to think a stag do wouldn’t involve a strip club but to see it laid out like that has upset me.

Gross
How old are these men?

Well. That's disgusting.

Ugh what a bunch of pigs. I’d be upset too, it’s like a shopping list.

Vile, sexist wankers.

They are a mix of late 30’s and early 40’s.

I feel sorry for the bride too.

It really doesn't have to include a strip club. So it wouldn't be unreasonable to find that unacceptable. 🤷

You know they’re all planning on paying prostitutes don’t you? Including your husband.

At least he’ll be packing his case on the way out.

The plan to pay for sex workers is very clear. The question is what are you going to do about it, Op?

I am not naive enough to think a stag do wouldn’t involve a strip club

Seriously? DH has been to a dozen or stag dos down the years, and none has involved a strip club, because he and his friends are not the kind of men who think that is in any way a normal thing to do, or who would find purchasing access to a woman's body something appropriate to do on a night out.

I would wonder in your shoes how I came to find myself married to someone who thinks this is in any way acceptable.

Stopping short of flying out there myself I’m not sure what you are suggesting I do? DH has no interest in that, so he’s my only concern. The rest of them can do what they want as far as I care.

so gross! 🤢

Bit of a leap there!

oh dear

He’s literally priced them up but ok 🤣

Strip clubs for me are cheating. I’d be making that clear.

Yes he put ‘extras’ which could well be that, but how do you know that her husband is planning on paying for sex?!

I mean, I get that this is considered normal by some people, but not in my world.

I remember once being at a baby group in a Midlands village, and an otherwise apparently normal woman telling, with great hilarity, how her husband had been on a stag the night before, and how she'd been going through his pockets before putting his clothes in the wash and finding 'all these receipts' for private dances. She was mildly annoyed on financial grounds, rather as though he'd overspent on drinks and dinner.

It blew my mind.

The last two stags I can think of that DH was on were clay-pigeon-shooting and Airsoft in the New Forest, a meal in a Michelin-starred restaurant, and taking out motorboats on the Shannon.

Going to a strip club, private dances and then extras!!! That’s cheating in my book. I made this clear to my DH before we got married. I honestly would say to him if you go then we divorce, actually just the fact he was planning it would sicken me. I would also let all the wives, girlfriends and bride to be know. I would take a photo and just circulate it and to hell with the consequences.

I would not find a man who booked sex workers even for others attractive and would have no respect or desire for him going forward.

So ultimately, in my case, it would be over.

My husband has never been to a strip club on a stag!?

But your DH is ok with okaying a trip to a strip club? Is he an unusually weak individual, terrified of looking less than a 'lad' in front of his peers or something?

“Which could well be that”?! Where do you live that life is so sheltered?

Yep. Not my DH.

It’s been a while since DP went on any stage dos but they were rock climbing and kayaking etc. Not all stags have to have strip clubs. He has been to clubs in his youth I know, and I’ve been to them myself when I was young and intrigued. It’s just not what his mates are into.

Why is it compulsory?