To not understand end of year gifts for teachers?

[Threecactusplants]

That time is upon us.
My DS’s class WhatsApp ‘admin’ has asked if people want to contribute towards a voucher for the teacher - suggested donation £10 each.
AIBU but the teachers are being paid for this job, they’re not doing it voluntarily.
Okay I understand if the child is leaving/in last year or the teacher is leaving.

To be honest, I haven’t been hugely impressed this year, DS’s teacher has been quite slack and we have had very little communication. He’s been happy going to school which is the main thing but I probably would have got a small card or asked him to make one. It’s only a small class of 21 so if I don’t contribute it’ll be obvious.

I gave my sons teacher a thank you card because he was leaving and it was my sons first year at school. I honestly couldn't sing his and the other staff praises enough for all the work and support they had done/given my son. I wouldn't give money personally but a wee box of chocolates, or if I could bake some homemade stuff, I would hand that in instead.

Additionally, I started a new job this year and I was given some thank you chocolates and a wee card and the wee card was the best bit for me (one of the wee kids had written it). Obviously I wasn't expecting it but that wee card made my day and sits pride of place on my fireplace till September 🤣

I don't agree with the chats asking for specific donation amounts then the teacher ends up with a £200+ voucher. A card is honestly fine.

An ex colleague‘s mum was a headteacher and the office was treated to boxes of chocs/biscuits at Christmas and end of year as her mum needed to offload.
When they were old enough, my DC drew and wrote cards saying something meaningful about that year

It’s not a gift from you to the teacher.
It’s a gift from your child to their teacher.

Just like when you take your child to their friend’s birthday party. You’re not actually invited, you’re just the taxi service. And the gift isn’t really from you, it’s from your child - but as they don’t have money or means to get to the shop etc, you buy it on their behalf.

Children spend a lot of time with their teacher, they are very important people in their lives. Especially for younger children, for whom school can be daunting and unsettling. They help them navigate a new environment.

And then, after one year, this person who they saw 5 days a week, 39 weeks a year is no longer there. So it’s nice for them to give a little gesture of appreciation and kindness to them.

For this reason, I can see why it’s perhaps not so common to give gifts at secondary. The form tutor is usually there all the way through (and you might just give a gift when the child or teacher leaves rather than each year). And the relationship between secondary pupils and teachers is often more like a client/professional.
If there is a particular teacher who has helped beyond the academic, and offered pastoral support etc then you might want to give them a gift.

I loved getting John Lewis vouchers at the end of the year when I was a TA. It made me feel really appreciated and i genuinely bought things I couldn't have afforded to have otherwise like a new lovely suitcase that I still remember being from that class years later.

I didn't like being overloaded with chocolate at Xmas and tended to give that away to family

Handwritten cards from kids saying they love me with pictures I still have

I'm nearly 40 and always gave gifts like a bunch of flowers to teachers

My mum is a teacher tho'

She obviously meant money not honey!!

One of the best presents I had when I was teaching was some homemade fudge and bunch of sweet peas. Beautiful 😊
I think the moral of this story is never join the class WhatsApp group!

This

I was thinking jar of local honey!

It’s a nice gesture yes. However some of the gifts I have seen been given are strange.

Last year a girl(or should I say mum) in my son’s class gifted the teacher a framed picture of the child, with a personal message on it and the school year. Now imagine every child did that, I doubt the teacher would be putting pictures of children she had taught up on her wall🤨

@Appleday55 there's a big difference between token gifts and gifts of significant value ie over about £50

It’s not £200 each though is it?

Instead of 31 people buying a £6.50 box of chocolates each, they club together and give a £200 voucher.

Personally I’d rather that than waste all that chocolate.

At DDs primary most of the parents don’t work and are on benefits. On the last day of school parents come in with massive gift bags with balloons, filled with stuff. It always felt very distasteful, I know there was some guidance sent out in her last year to stop giving gifts to teachers. I was in their staff room once and there were dozens of ‘best teacher’ mugs in the cupboards.

Ive worked in secondary schools and a Head of English came into my office to sob about a boy who had just left and had been difficult for the whole time he was there. He wrote to say sorry and that he recognised she was only trying to help him and he wouldn’t forget her.

Teachers spend a lot of their own time and money on our children. I'm very happy to send a bottle of prosecco their way or contribute to a class collection to buy a restaurant voucher etc. so they can have a bit of a treat as a thank you for all the extras which they are not paid to do, but do anyway. If you're not comfortable doing so, you don't have to - it's optional.

I did once give a 1:1 a mug with my child's picture on it which they loved, but it was their first year as a 1:1 and they obviously spent all day every day with them so it felt like it might be a nice memory for them. (They were great mates.) I wouldn't do that for a class teacher!

We give a shopping voucher so the teacher can spend it on what they want.

What if they dont like chocolate? So if you spend £5 on a box of chocolates, why not just chip in £5 towards a voucher from the whole class?

No one in a state primary is giving £200 vouchers individually, if they are, they're the odd ones out.

But 1 teacher receiving 30 boxes of chocolates, or 30 mugs is just plain stupid so the reasonable thing is to club together and get 1 gift from the whole class.

We have TAs too, so we raise £300, get cards, flowers and shopping vouchers, teacher gets a higher amount than the TA. Its gratefully received.

Ive organised it a few times, and the teachers have always found me in September to say thank you and have told me what they have spent it on which is lovely.

I would rather 1 voucher than 30 boxes of chocolates or 30 mugs

I love mugs. My all time favourite one had a photo of one of the children on it. I spend 6 hours a day with the children in my classes, I absolutely love them to bits. Saying I ' get paid ' doesn't cover it.i certainly dont expect anything at all but I dont expect that attitude.

I was at primary school in the 70s and 80s and gifts for teachers were most definitely a thing then. What’s more, the teacher would open each individual gift in front of the whole class and say who it was from. Mortifying!

Oh that last paragraph put a lump in my throat. Those are the real gifts, little hand written notes for the teacher. Just precious.

Absolutely!

I taught for decades, now a retired HT and the gifts I appreciated the most were the ones the children made themselves eg little paper maché pots or animals, home-made cards etc. It was also lovely to have a card from parents thanking me. It's the personal appreciation that's touching. I wouldn't have liked a larger gift paid for collectively as much as the small things.

Also from @User868473
As a side note, those parents who organise the gifts get a very unique insight into every single family from the class so make sure you don't elect someone who likes to gossip!

and

There are always the few pick-mes who make a huge deal out of social conformity and base their entire personality around the fact they hate class Whatsapp chats and have refused to join theirs

My DC is now nearly 30 so WhatsApp wasn't a thing when they were in primary school. Not were "class reps" or whatever you call them. But this and your early posts illustrate Very clearly to me why people might hate class WhatsApps. Frankly you sound like a judgemental busy body with too much time on your hands.

As for
People give off a lot more clues about themselves than they assume others pick up.
Yup, you have done that alright!

Unhinged

I am a teacher and just received a £200 voucher from my class which I appreciate very much, I'm a job share so my partner got the same which is so generous.

I always organise the collections for my kids classes, no pressure or a set amount. Almost everyone gives a tenner.

Teachers work very hard and I think it's nice to show your appreciation if you want to. They also spend a lot of their own money on their classroom and pupils and are very underpaid for what they do.

Every year all the teachers in my school get their class a wee present at Christmas, Easter and Summer which I think is a bit much as a lot of the kids where I am are quite ungrateful and expect it now.

I left the WhatsApp group after they did collections and set a minimum of £20 donation, at both Christmas and end of the school year, and when a teacher went on maternity leave, like they can do what they want I guess but made me feel bad and stingy so I left the group. I think £20 is a lot of money to give, the teacher ended up with a a gift card over £500. It’s a mixed income area, and they seem to forget that there many on low incomes as well.