To not understand end of year gifts for teachers?

[Threecactusplants]

That time is upon us.
My DS’s class WhatsApp ‘admin’ has asked if people want to contribute towards a voucher for the teacher - suggested donation £10 each.
AIBU but the teachers are being paid for this job, they’re not doing it voluntarily.
Okay I understand if the child is leaving/in last year or the teacher is leaving.

To be honest, I haven’t been hugely impressed this year, DS’s teacher has been quite slack and we have had very little communication. He’s been happy going to school which is the main thing but I probably would have got a small card or asked him to make one. It’s only a small class of 21 so if I don’t contribute it’ll be obvious.

Don't buy into the peer pressure.

We don't do it.

I've really loved a couple of my children's teachers. I thank them In person occasionally. If they've gone the extra mile : I'll email school so they head can see /they get officially recognised.

But I'm not buying them gifts. They're only really accepting it out of politeness. We're only giving it out of peer pressure. It's all a big act.

Don't do it. It doesn't make you a Scrooge or a miser. A nice card with some thoughtful words in to a good teacher will likely mean more.

I taught (primary) for 20 years - left last year to become a SEN tutor.
The most precious gift I ever received was a blue HB pencil dipped in a crazy amount of glitter and wrapped in a piece of scrap paper.
The child who gave me it didn't have much at all, bless her, and she'd been given a small amount of money by her mummy to spend at the school craft fair.
Instead of buying anything for herself she went and spent her money on this gift and then wrapped it herself using scrap paper from the drawer because she knew I was "sparkle mad."
It still makes me teary to this day when I think about it ❤️

My kids are now at secondary and no one does gifts. In primary we used to do a collection amongst the class so teachers/ta would get a decent/useful voucher each.

At primary age the staff are usually very invested in our kids and get to know them well as they spend so much time together, help them when things go wrong, spend time to find ways of making topics more interesting to learn, develop their passions and personalities… I really don’t think a tenner is much to ask for all that assuming they have put the effort in and helped your child. Being a teacher isn’t just a 9-5 and clock off at the end of the day- so much more goes into it in most cases- the least we can do is say a little thank you surely!?

I mean i’d tip a waiter a tenner if me and DH went out for a nice meal, so can’t get over this attitude of ‘they earn a wage’ - that has nothing to do with gratitude?!

Don't they get rather sticky?

I'm a primary school teacher and we don't expect gifts at all but they are very much appreciated. I have spent hundreds of pounds of my own money this year on my class for playdoh, scented stickers, coloured card, pom poms and paint for craft, books for the kids at Christmas, little chocolate eggs & chicks at Easter, toys for the prize box etc etc. Our budget is rubbish yet I'm still expected to teach the kids through a range of play based themed/topic learning so I end up buying a few nice things for the kids. I had one SEN child who loves space and flags so I bought a few jigsaws off vinted for him to help motivate his learning. You will find most teachers especially early years spend a lot of their own money. Last year I had to buy glue stick cause we ran out.

Same, I teach P2 and I have spent hundreds this year on my class. Me and the other P2 teacher said we are going to write everything down this coming year that we spend just to see how much it tallies up to. Our budget is rubbish and in the foundation stage (NI) we need so much in the way of toys and crafts and our budget doesn't reflect it. It's even got to the point where we have to buy sand ourselves for the sand tray 🙈

That's ridiculous, stop doing it.
The school head/management needs a push to find more budget or reduce costs elsewhere, if you're subsidising the school budget, what impetus is there for them to sort this out?

If you feel you don't really want to I think that's OK

You don't need to contribute if you don't want to! An end of year gifts at our school have always consisted of handmade cards the kids did and something useful from the parents (stationery, tes/coffee sets, last year we did personalized calendars with photos of the whole class, etc). I agree that it might feel like a tip from parents, that's why we tried to stick to giving something useful and not just money wrapped in a gift paper. Not everyone is willing to participate either and that's okay.

How is a jar of honey a gift you give to someone you don't like? I am completely confused.

I was married to a teacher. He often bought stuff he needed. This wasn't uncommon, either. I didn't mind, but I told him more than once that no one would know to appreciate it. He genuinely didn't care. I ended up joining in - a gift for his classrom was a gift for him. He is still there and doesn't get many gifts as it is a very deprived area, but he gets the parents saying thank you personally instead. He vastly prefers that to presents, if anyone wants ideas to save some money.

It has been normal for years. Like a pp, my DM used to bring home loads of gifts at the end of the school year.

What I don't like about the collection is the pressure to put in X amount, and the leaving out of people who don't do it (eg all of the ones who contribute sign the card). I also did not like it at Christmas. Once a year at the end is enough and don't dictate how much to chip in. That's fine.

😂😂😂

I'm a secondary teacher and so don't often get end of term gifts which is absolutely fine with me - some pupils might have up to 16 teachers so it would be expensive and time consuming to get for everyone.

I am absolutely over the moon when I get a card thanking me personally however. A pupil once wrote a thank you poem for me and a colleague that mentioned us by name in it and wrote it out for us. It's still on the wall 8 years later!

DD is leaving her secondary school today and wanted to give individual thank you cards for her teachers. It's taken her a while to do but I know they'll be appreciated.

I have worked in international schools.
No gift policies are common.

For those of you saying you can’t bribe a teacher, you need to think about predicted grades. Have a look at this thread to see how emotive the topic is

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/higher_education/5365843-predictions-just-angry-and-hurt-for-my-dd?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

I have been asked to change predictions and I know gifts can feather in such conversations.

I never joined a class collection but always did an individual gift for teacher/TA. Many schools now actively request rather than a present (not needed and CoL etc), that parents could support a charity/ food bank etc of their choice.
When DS was in y6 (1st covid) we made a donation to a local animal charity in the name of the staff and made a little certificate.
I also write a heartfelt thank you (if deserved). Teachers really do not care if they dont get anything, but will appreciate a special message/card, and keep it.
Thjs year our DS is leaving comp and he wants to buy a gift for each of his teachers, expensive but we are doing it because he knows how much they've helped him (he has some issues). I will be writing to 2 teachers in particular and also to the HT telling him how special these teachers are.

As a teacher my VERY best present was from a rec boy who chose a metal bookmark from card factory. It was 99p. He chose it because he remembered I loved to read and he bought it out of his pocket money. He would not be swayed by his mum who tried yo get him to buy some wine/chocs. I still have it, and he is about to go into his second yr of alevels and i think about him every time I use it!

Handmade cards are always really appreciated but a personalised calendar sounds like a gift for grandparents rather than for a teacher.

I really don't want photos of other people's children hanging on my wall no matter how much I had loved teaching them the previous year.

I hear you OP. In fact I could have written your post. I don't think I'll contribute to our class one this year as I've not been impressed with the teacher. I see it like giving a tip which I only do if the service is good.

When I had breast cancer, I gave a gift to my surgeon, my breast care nurse, and my oncologist who absolutely blew me away with her honesty regarding chemotherapy (I had already decided not to have it and her honesty made me realise I had made the right decision for me). At each annual follow-up, I gave a gift to my surgeon (I knew exactly what he liked, thanks to my breast care nurse) and took chocolates in for the breast care nurses to share between themselves. It's nice to show your appreciation if you are in a position to do so.

I buy for all the staff normally biscuits chocolates , posh teas and hot chocolate and similar stuff .

My favourite end of year gift was Twix bars. One of the girls had remembered they were my favourite treat and she and her mum had discovered limited edition Twix bars in the local supermarket. I think I got milk chocolate, plain chocolate, while chocolate and one that had a finger of milk and white in it.
it really made me smile that she had remembered a pretty silly conversation and she and her mum had been kind enough to buy me some treats.
It is often the smallest gifts that have the most impact.
You don’t need to give gifts though as they really aren’t expected

I’m a teacher (secondary, boys) and it’s nice getting gifts but I really really like getting cards. If they’re a properly personal message I always keep them. I’ve currently got a card from my last year’s year 13 on my desk in which they all wrote a full paragraph. It makes me smile everyday to know that the many, many, many hours of work I put in (well above what I’m paid) were appreciated !

Op
if you do t agree with it and think it's excessive than absolutely don't contribute . There are a couple of parents in my kids classes that don't . ( some don't agree with gifts and some are the opposite and wish to give their own ( more expensive) gift. No one bats an eyelid either way. The year I did the card I just put from 'The Boys ' on it. I didn't name out individual kids .

Money! Haha you made me laugh at your literal interpretation of the typo!