Guest ruined carpet

[DeedlessIndeed]

OK, logically I know that this is a minor problem in the grand scheme of things. I know people are facing real issues in the world, but this has really annoyed me.

We have just had new wool carpet fitted in the whole of the upstairs. Saved up for a while as it was expensive (for us). After 5 years of renovation, we finally have the upstairs finished! I was so so happy.

Had parents stay this weekend and left yesterday. They've seen the house in all stages of building site and they know how excited I am to have the upstairs done. I explained that we are being careful to keep it looking nice. And they know we are a slippers only house apart from the hard floors in the hall etc.

Well, I went into their room to do the bedding this morning and can see that they've rolled their dirty suitcase wheels all along the carpet. A bit annoying, but oh well. It's dried so I can hoover it up hopefully. Then I see they've spilled a coffee or dark tea next to the bed. There is a huge splatter mark all over the carpet in front of the beside table. It's also on the skirting board and wall, but I can touch that up at least.

I'm just feeling a bit gutted. If they had an accident then why not say and I could have got on it and stop it staining. I'm regretting not getting a easily cleanable carpet but the fact they didn't mention it is the worst part IYSWIM?

Would you say anything to your parents? They do mean well, but they just don't "get" having nice things and looking after them.

I'm sorry for your loss but conflating this with ruined carpets is a bit strange

I have a cream/beige wool bedroom carpet. I've spilled full cups of filter coffee and hot chocolate on it as well as glasses of red wine. You wouldn't know. It's perfectly possible to clean it yourself either with or without a spot cleaner tool.
This is what I do:
1 teaspoon of white vinegar and 1 teaspoon of washing up liquid in a pint of warm water.
First get an old towel on the stain and stand on it to soak up whatever you can.
Then working from the edge of the stain into the centre, use clean clothes (I use flannels) to dab the cleaning liquid onto the stain. Dab and never rub. Get the stain properly damp but not soaking wet.
Leave in 15 minutes and soak up the stain with dry clothes or kitchen towel. Stand on it rather than wipe or rub.
Repeat this a few times till the blotting cloths are clean.
Next and this is important - put layers of kitchen roll over the stain and weight it down with really heavy stuff. Leave overnight. Replace the paper and repeat. This gets anything left at the 'roots' of the carpet out. Keep going until the carpet is dry.
It's a faff but it really works.

Ahhhh... @DeedlessIndeed
I wonder if It's kind of about the carpet and it's kind of about what you said about their attitude in general
"They were always a touch mocking of anyone trying to better themselves through education. Or people "getting above their station" by having nice things."
The 'above their station' thing ....is much discussed in our house. DH had a mum like that, effectively undermining his attempts to change his life course and passively aggressively sniping at his success. Subtle but actually punishing him for not being like her/family and implying he was 'up himself' or 'snobby', which is very far from true. Far too many people see their children as an extension of themselves and when they are not carbon copies it's threatening in some way. Embracing difference requires you to be ok with your own sense of self and values though and lots of peoples self esteem is a bit wobbly.....

This incident shows you the main reason why carpets in general have bitten the dust and being overtsen by wooden, laminate flooing, easy to clean flooring etc.

I have a beige wool carpet in my bedroom and will replace it with laminate on due course.

I would tell your parents about the damage and ask them to pay for the carpet to be professionally cleaned or for a new carpet.

Can you claim on your Home Contents Insurance?

I don't know if I could do this - I think I would rather next time they stay just mention that you don't allow drinks upstairs now as there was a tea/coffee stain last time they visited and it took ages to come out.
If you feel the need to say something then I'd ask them that next time they spill anything in your house, just let you know straight away so you can at least try to fix it.

Yes just spot clean it; don’t have the whole carpet cleaned as it’ll never be the same.

Not meant to be guilt trippy just trying to keep a perspective on things. Worry about the things in life that matter, for me those things will never be material things or things money can replace and no I am not well off.
I would just give anything for my parents to still be around but that's just me, we are all different.

You know them and you should have said in advance “it is more than your life is worth to make a mark on my new carpets” - or you could have laid plastic sheets all round the room!

My father-in-law specialised in damaging something when he stayed, he broke an iron, scratched the glass top of our new cooker, left tea stains on a bedside table that needed painting, adjusted a blind so that it flew off its fitting after he’d left. We never said a word, though he’d never let us forget any of our misdemeanours!

No, sloshing tea and coffee all over the place does not happen to everyone and if you do spill something for the love of God clean it up! At the very least they should have told op so she could have got right on it. Tbh the parents house sounds disgusting, it's not normal not to have some pride in your home and to try and keep it clean and it's definitely not an excuse to behave in a disrespectful manner in someone else's home.

It doesn’t matter what they think! You paid for that carpet and saved up for it, they knew that. It’s very disrespectful what they’ve done. I’d definitely expect them to clean it and if they can’t then pay for it to be cleaned professionally.
My parents are always respectful towards my stuff and I am too, towards their stuff. If you stay in somebody’s house, you respect their house and its contents. I was raised this way and I’m genuinely surprised that not everyone was! I’d never dream about going to someone’s house and cause any damage. If I accidentally did, I’d pay for it, but I’m always very careful and respectful.
If you know that your family are like this, I’d put firm rules in place. Like you said, no drinks apart from water upstairs and definitely no shoes or dirty suitcase wheels.

This really.
It comes down to which do you love more your parents or your carpet.
Personally, i urge you not to die on this hill.
It sounds like it might have spilled on the bedside table, they’ve probably cleaned it off the table without realising it went on the carpet & walls.
I’d be a bit annoyed too, i’d clean it up as best I could, I’d accept it as one of those things that happens, then i’d move on with my life.
As, my 3 year old says accidents happen.

I would ask what it was that was spilled then you have the best chance of getting it out without leaving a stain.

Annoying.

Parent-proof your house for their next visit.

I actually would not have them to stay again. Parents or not. In my house, my rules. If I keep my house tidy, I would expect guests to do the same. Frankly it's disrespectful. I know that some people don't care about cars or possessions, but when you have worked hard, it's not fair.

They sound like dirty, disrespectful pigs.

Sounds very annoying, but if it were me I’d vent my frustration on Mumsnet then move on with my life. I suspect that’s what you’re doing.

My partner’s mum is the same, not house proud at all and constantly spills stuff and gets crumbs everywhere. She’s completely oblivious to it and has a very different sense of cleanliness and tidiness from me. She’s a good person though and I’d sooner cut off my left arm than confront her about it. Just have a little whinge then move on. Relationships with your family are more important than clean carpets. Also on a practical note, there are professional carpet cleaners who are relatively inexpensive and you’d be surprised how well they can remove stains.

That is a bit strong for a small spillage that they probably didn't even notice they'd done. I'm sure it will clean up fine.

I am with Anchi who posted just above.

💯

Your house your rules, I would be furious

That’s so annoying. My mum did almost exactly that, including the tea stains and said nothing. I just left it in the end as I knew she had no money for cleaning anyway 🤷‍♀️

I opened this expecting it to be a friend at a social in your house who had done something accidental to the carpet and refused to clean or pay. Then I read through and see that it’s not just ‘guest’, it’s parent(s), I assume in a state of relative sobriety (?), but with a chip on the shoulder about their daughter having nice things.
And oh my, what a lot of guilt-inducing posts, expecting you to put up with a spiteful and jealous act. Because it’s your parents. Well no. That’s not always how it works. Parents are just human. They are not gods. They can be wrong, unpleasant, unkind, and thoroughly resentful about the fact that they were parents. For the rest of our lives do we stay forever children, in awe, afraid to stand up for ourselves? I say treat this as if it were any other adult friend. Sounds like a jealous and deliberately destructive act to me, and suggests this relationship needs a re-set. Unless one or both parents has a motor/ coordination medical issue, in which case, they can use a beaker in future!

PIL are immensely house proud of their own house,.it has a name, don't you know.
However MIL is weirdly jealous of other people having nice things.
We did the whole but a wreck, live amongst for years. Everytime we got a new thing they have a little accident.
New wood burner curing - put a mug on it, can still see the ring 20 years later.
Set their dog urine stain, scrubbing it with hot water - my fault for buying a cream wool rug with toddlers. This was particularly gauling since it was shop soiled and I'd got it back to immaculate from Habitats shop floor.
Recent damaged the ceramic sink with a hot, cast iron saucepan rather than using the large grill actually in the sink for the purpose.

I'm just about to have a brand new, first time ever proper kitchen fitted and I feel so hurt of the damage they've willingly done over the years, I just won't let them near.

This is the third time this has been on here

Mine are the same... They just don't appreciate nice stuff and would wear dirty shoes in the house (if I didn't say anything) and put mugs on wood work tops. They also pour tea dregs down the sink without rinsing so the white composite sink gets stained. I put it down to the fact that they are not very house proud (& nor do they have antique furniture) Last thing they did was scuff the hall wall with their overnight bags as they carried them upstairs (I would have taken them up as well)

Still drives me nuts though! I agree it's hard to say anything when it's your family but I would, if only to hope that it would make them more careful next time.