Why did my PT ghost me? Did I cross a line?

[ThatAmberSquid]

So, I started seeing a personal trainer a few months ago. I’d left my job due to bullying and was trying to get my life back on track, starting with getting fit again - I’d put on quite a lot of weight due to stress eating. He is fairly new to personal training but also does a lot of work with wellbeing/mental health in the workplace so I thought that would be a great fit because he’d have an understanding of what I’d been through. The sessions seemed to go well and I thought we were getting on really well. I should say, he is a really attractive guy but I didn’t think of him in that way because I’m about ten years older than him and quite unfit at the moment. The conversations we had did get quite personal - he brought up a date he’d been on and we talked about dating disasters etc. He has also complimented me on my appearance quite a few times but I just took that as being a salesy thing that PT’s do. Anyway, my savings are starting to dwindle a bit and I’ve not had much luck on the job front so I mentioned this in our last session in case I needed to cut down on the amount of time I was seeing him. He said as he’d worked in recruitment to send him my CV and he’d take a look - which I did. Got no acknowledgement back. I then decided that I might need to take a break for a while because of finances so I messaged him and explained, saying hopefully I’d be able to book something in a few weeks. Got no response. I’m quite flabbergasted at how rude and unprofessional this is. If I were trying to build my reputation as a PT I would be really keen to keep my clients. I obviously can’t book a session now as it would be embarrassing and I think I’d also find it embarrassing if I were to bump in to him at the gym (which is likely). It’s also made me wonder what kind of vibes I was giving off and if he thought I was some kind of scary cougar! Don’t know if i am being unreasonable/oversensitive about this but would appreciate any feedback.

It could explain it. It wouldn’t justify it, but it could explain it. I’ve seen people do stuff like this in situations where they supposedly are professional. Trades who just vanish with the job half done being the most obvious example that springs to mind.

I think the CV thing was like a polite thing people say, like, oh we must have you over for dinner soon. They don’t actually want to have you over for dinner, but are just being polite. But you took it really literally. Actually though, he just doesn’t have time.

If I was running a business, I definitely would have followed up your last message with a, thanks for letting me know. It’s been lovely working with you. Just let me know if you want to book in again.

But maybe he missed your message. Sometimes people send me things and I actually look at them quickly while kids are kicking off and then I forget I didn’t respond. Or maybe he had an emergency, has had to go into hospital, has a poorly parent, lost his day job and is struggling. There are lots of possible explanations.

He’s running his own business and will have dozens of clients to respond to/keep up with. Some people are better than others at this, but I can tell you that as a one man band, it can be tough!

Try not to read too much into it or take it too personally.

I don't think you're overreacting. I used to do PT and I think it's rude for him not to reply both times, especially as he offered with your CV.

He's probably frustrated to lose your income and might have got your message when he was busy, but he should have replied when he could.

I wouldn't feel bad seeing him though, just say hi and don't try to strike up a conversation unless he does. Lots of clients come and go I'm sure he won't think anything of it if/when he sees you

Yes, exactly, it's just manners!

He may have thought “I can’t book anything just now but might come back to you in a few weeks” didn’t require a response?