Lodger freakout deposit IDKif i can do this anymore

[ForOliveTiger]

Lodger is insisting on deducting her deposit from this months rent before leaving the house. It's now incredibly awkward and I have to live with her for another 3-4 weeks.

We have been going round in circles for hours. She has run up a £1,000 British Gas bill by having 1 hour shower every night. I feel like she's trying to bully and intimidate me and I really don't feel comfortable with her in my home anymore. The fact she is so insistent makes me think there IS damage she doesn't want me to know about.

I have unreservedly reassured her I will refund her deposit but she won't have it.

You're not overreacting at all, OP. You've been under-reacting.
We had similar with a lodger and an insane electric bill.
She doesn't give a shit. She needs to go, and I'd be very wary of her causing damage. She sounds deeply unpleasant and beyond entitled.

Yes you do. You have to give reasonable notice.

There are around 10kWh of energy in a litre of heating oil, so my figure wasn’t far off. Even a 20 year old boiler should be around 80% efficient, so that’s still, let’s say, 5-6 hours of showering per day.

This isn’t the same as having a tenancy agreement and renting out a full property. There isn’t a set definition for giving notice it just needs to be fair, in this instance OP can justify it as none payment and breakdown of relationship.

Have you been in her room? It is different in this aspect too in that you are allowed to go in (obviously don’t be a dick) but you could have a quick check for any damage. Take photos immediately after she leaves so that you have evidence for any additional damage that you have to claim for. You can also go to small claims court for this, but obviously weigh up if the cost and time is worth what you could recoup.

Thats what i thought.

So you're getting your lodger to pay your bills on your rickety property, you dont plan on giving any notice whatsoever, you're sending your mum and dp around to bully her, and you think you have a heart?

😂

Google / this poster is wrong. Im an ex landlord

She has zero rights.

Stop being so nice and polite in your texts, if English is not her first language then there's a good chance this could be lost in translation.

You tell her tomorrow morning - money in my account by midday or the locks are getting changed this afternoon. And then follow through.

She's taking the piss.

Most do but that doesn’t change that this isn’t what was agreed in this case!

g

If she's been with you a year and she's been showering for an hour every day she could have run up a bill of £1k. A 60-minute hot shower with a 8.5kW electric shower would use approximately 8.5 kWh of electricity at anywhere between 24p and 34p. Depends on how much power the shower uses and how hot the water is, but £2 a night wouldn't be ridiculous. I'm wondering if she's been using an electric heater 24/7 over the winter. That could easily rack up a grand.

That’s not true. Oil-fired boilers are not much less efficient than gas ones. Gas obviously wins out on convenience and price stability, which is why oil is generally only used where mains gas is unavailable.

It’s been asked a few times but not answered by the op. How can you not know if there is damage or if the heating is left in. Why send texts if you share a house. 🤷

OP isn’t a charity. People don’t get lodgers because they like cleaning up after others they tend to get them to help financially, this lodgers is doing the opposite.

To me there is a big difference between a landlord renting out multiple properties and a person renting out their spare room to get by.

im trying to get my lodger to pay HER BILLS

ive told her to either pay or leave tomorrow and ive blocked her

ive got a male friend coming over tomorrow to spend the night cuz im scared

And this is why I stopped being a landlord. So bloody stressful.

I agree, the ones "just trying to get by" are usually the worst as they have this notion that they're almost doing people a favour (cf "I have a heart"). The multi property live out landlords usually have better boundaries and a more transparent acceptance of their role in the capitalist machine

🤣🤣🤣

I think you need to send clear confirmation that she is expected to leave tomorrow, your message you’ve sent her could be twisted by her to say it was optional. Send a message along the lines of “just to confirm I expect you to have vacated my property by __pm due to none payment of rent, after this time I will inspect the room and any other aspects and be in touch about the return of your deposit” then change the locks asap, take photos and collect any evidence for the bills and send her it to breakdown what you are keeping and why.

It seems clear she's trying to engineer it so you can't keep her deposit to cover the bills that she originally agreed to pay. Kicking her out ASAP and retaining from the deposit the share of the bills she was supposed to cover, the cost of any damage and whatever rent she should have paid for the two days this month is entirely fair. I think the cost of changing the locks is questionable. It would be wise to change the locks, but I think that's a you expense unless it was explicitly mentioned before she moved in, she refuses to return the keys, or she has actually threatened to return after you've kicked her out.

What on earth...??

How is this remotely scary?!

So in your conversation you tell her you'll return her deposit if things are "immaculate".

In this thread you say you are going to use part of it to cover your energy bill.

But you don't believe the energy bill is right, and you seem to switch between her using too much electricity and too much gas - which is it?

If she doesn't have a contract, are you sure you established that bills aren't included?

She sounds confused and anxious. I'm not surprised she wants to try to save her deposit from you. Intentionally or not, you're not playing fair with her.

I'm so confused. Why haven't you tackled all of the issues earlier?

Why are you categorically staying that the huge bill is down to her showering so often when you don't actually have any proof? Surely you would've known if the heating was on all night? What about in the summer months and the bill then?

Why are you letting her dictate what happens and when? Be firm and clearly set out in writing what you want to happen - do not discuss it further, just follow through.