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Lodger freakout deposit IDKif i can do this anymore

328 replies

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:08

Lodger is insisting on deducting her deposit from this months rent before leaving the house. It's now incredibly awkward and I have to live with her for another 3-4 weeks.

We have been going round in circles for hours. She has run up a £1,000 British Gas bill by having 1 hour shower every night. I feel like she's trying to bully and intimidate me and I really don't feel comfortable with her in my home anymore. The fact she is so insistent makes me think there IS damage she doesn't want me to know about.

I have unreservedly reassured her I will refund her deposit but she won't have it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:33

Letstheriveranswer · 01/07/2025 22:31

I read the text conversation and to me it reads differently. To me it reads that she is afraid she will leave and you will just never give her money back, and she will have no recourse.
You are very insistent that you will send her the money later, that would make me nervous!

Why are you insisting on doing a bank transfer for after she leaves?

She is a lodger, she only has one room to be checked....just do a check when she has emptied the room but before she leaves. Either cash that she signs for, or an instant transfer in front of her.

I never made my lodgers leave and wait at my leisure wondering if they would get their deposit returned.

She owes me about £500 in unpaid gas bills :/

OP posts:
Letstheriveranswer · 01/07/2025 22:33

Just to add she should absolutely pay the rent but there's no need to keep the deposit once you have checked the room as she is leaving

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:34

Letstheriveranswer · 01/07/2025 22:33

Just to add she should absolutely pay the rent but there's no need to keep the deposit once you have checked the room as she is leaving

and if that's an issue then why dig her heels in? i think the lady doth protest too much....

OP posts:
TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:35

This shower business is murky

Most electric showers are 8.5-10.5kWh

Thats around 300kwh per month with an hour daily shower. Cant rack up more than 100 quid or so a month looking at my tarrif! So either:

Youre on a shite tarrif

Youre catching up on a looooong underestimation

Or

Other appliances are racking up the bill....

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:35

I feel like the trust has broken down I don't really want her here. it's a small property

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 01/07/2025 22:35

Landlord here. You are correct, no notice needed. Keep her deposit, tell her to go. You aren’t going to get more money from her, clearly.

Okiedokie123 · 01/07/2025 22:36

Shes trying to bully you and you are going to let her because you have a heart? Um no....... I think that means you are being a mug.
Theres being kind and there is being taken advantage of...... this sounds like the latter.
Id keep her deposit until you know for sure what is what - you definitely need to see her room (emptied) before you even think of giving it back.

Letstheriveranswer · 01/07/2025 22:36

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:31

basically she refused to pay the bill she agreed to share as bill were not included so i got manipulated and just said it must be an issue with the supplier. i was tryna be nice

If it's an issue with the supplier you need to take it up with the supplier.

So are you saying you do plan to keep her deposit to offset the gas bill?

Have you calculated how much a 1 hour shower costs to see if it would come to £1000?

queenoftheanalogy · 01/07/2025 22:36

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:31

basically she refused to pay the bill she agreed to share as bill were not included so i got manipulated and just said it must be an issue with the supplier. i was tryna be nice

Still makes no sense though. A grand for one shower per day...I use mine at least twice per day and it doesn't add a grand to the bill in a year.

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:37

Well, I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I left on July 20th.
and you don't return anything and I don't pay anything anymore.
OK, I'm not going to talk about it anymore.
And don't worry, I'm not dangerous.
I'm just a mother who wants to go home in peace.
^
is this an admission that shes refusing to pay? idk how to interpret this as english isnt her first langhuage

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 01/07/2025 22:37

She's trying it on Get advice from Shelter (they are there to help landlords as well as tenants) or CAB.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 01/07/2025 22:38

TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:35

This shower business is murky

Most electric showers are 8.5-10.5kWh

Thats around 300kwh per month with an hour daily shower. Cant rack up more than 100 quid or so a month looking at my tarrif! So either:

Youre on a shite tarrif

Youre catching up on a looooong underestimation

Or

Other appliances are racking up the bill....

Edited

Exactly. But it easier for OP to just moan to her supplier about high bills, rather than look into it themselves.

TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:38

Letstheriveranswer · 01/07/2025 22:36

If it's an issue with the supplier you need to take it up with the supplier.

So are you saying you do plan to keep her deposit to offset the gas bill?

Have you calculated how much a 1 hour shower costs to see if it would come to £1000?

op says her shower is electric

It would be 100 per month tops

OP if youre keeping her money based on a summation that her showers have run up that bill you are very wrong to do so!

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:38

TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:38

op says her shower is electric

It would be 100 per month tops

OP if youre keeping her money based on a summation that her showers have run up that bill you are very wrong to do so!

Edited

yes but it accumulated over time and i think she may have had the heat going overnight

OP posts:
WellerUser · 01/07/2025 22:38

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:37

Well, I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I left on July 20th.
and you don't return anything and I don't pay anything anymore.
OK, I'm not going to talk about it anymore.
And don't worry, I'm not dangerous.
I'm just a mother who wants to go home in peace.
^
is this an admission that shes refusing to pay? idk how to interpret this as english isnt her first langhuage

She’s saying she will leave on the 20 July and she won’t pay a penny more and you don’t have to give her her deposit back.

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:39

WellerUser · 01/07/2025 22:38

She’s saying she will leave on the 20 July and she won’t pay a penny more and you don’t have to give her her deposit back.

oh fuck. well then shes leaving tomorrow

OP posts:
TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:39

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:38

yes but it accumulated over time and i think she may have had the heat going overnight

I thought the 1000 was in one month...

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:40

TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:39

I thought the 1000 was in one month...

no it was over the course of 6 months but she refused to help pay it which was the agreement

OP posts:
ChoccieCornflake · 01/07/2025 22:40

Sod that! I am not a landlord, but I have been a lodger - you would be being totally fair to kick her out now given the way she's acting

Burntout01 · 01/07/2025 22:41

OP I can unfortunately believe that an hours shower a day could cost 1k if you are talking about over a year. Its about £19 a week. My Son who uses showers to calm down burnt though nearly £500 of heating oil in a month on one occasion!!

TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:41

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:40

no it was over the course of 6 months but she refused to help pay it which was the agreement

I see, 600 sounds about right then for 6 months what proportion of her payment was bills

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:43

hre

Lodger freakout deposit IDKif i can do this anymore
OP posts:
Terrribletwos · 01/07/2025 22:43

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:35

I feel like the trust has broken down I don't really want her here. it's a small property

Yep, I think you just have to cut your losses and get rid.

TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:44

ForOliveTiger · 01/07/2025 22:43

hre

Good reply, theres her notice. Leave it there and change locks using her deposit if she wont leave

TesChique · 01/07/2025 22:45

Is your water bill not also massive?