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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child left in car in 35 degree heat

363 replies

Empress13 · 01/07/2025 21:54

Please tell me as I’m struggling to understand How the hell you could forget you have left a child in a car in such extreme heat. Unbelievable ! that poor child

OP posts:
Samas · 01/07/2025 21:55

Has this happened?

uncomfortablydumb60 · 01/07/2025 21:58

Has this happened recently in the uk?
I can’t find anything

MidnightPatrol · 01/07/2025 21:59

Happens with some regularity sadly.

Busy, distracted parents. Change of usual routine.

toomuchfaff · 01/07/2025 22:01

Unfortunately have to create an account and subscribe to read

noctilucentcloud · 01/07/2025 22:04

uncomfortablydumb60 · 01/07/2025 21:58

Has this happened recently in the uk?
I can’t find anything

I think the case the OP is referring to happened in Spain yesterday. A two year old sadly died.

OrwellianTimes · 01/07/2025 22:05

It happens. I had a near brush with it - a guy flew off his motorcycle and landed on his head so I stopped my car and ran over and administered first aid and clear forgot my toddler in the car. The most terrifying experience of my life.

Kid was fine, never got update about motorcyclist.

Midnightlove · 01/07/2025 22:07

I've read of it happen a few times in hot states in USA. Our last rental car bleeped and had a notice saying to che k the back seats every time we parked. But yeah I don't know how you could possibly forget your child, especially for hours!

FishfingerFlinger · 01/07/2025 22:15

I don’t know if there has been a recent case but I think I have read that WaPo article before (it is really very very good, sensitive exploration of these tragedies if it is the one I am thinking of).

They are generally cases where, for one fairly understandable reason or another, the car driver has forgotten they have their baby/ child with them, and left them locked in by mistake.

One case I recall, a mother normally dropped her baby at nursery, then her partner at his workplace, then drove on to her work. One day for some reason they had to reverse this and drop off the partner first. But instead of then dropping the baby at nursery, she went onto auto-pilot and drove to her work car park with her baby quietly in the car seat behind her. She parked up, went straight into a busy work day. By the time the realisation dawned on her it was too late. Just devastating.

People suggest things like always putting your bag in the rear footwell so you always have to open the rear doors before leaving the car.

legyeleven · 01/07/2025 22:18

It’s tragic but it happens. My Bil drove to work once and only when he reached in the back to get his jacket dos he realise he had forgotten to take his baby to nursery first. His mind was just elsewhere and it wasn’t his normal day for drop off. Thankfully no harm came but shows it’s an easy mistake

kiwiblue · 01/07/2025 22:20

Yes I also read that Washington post article years ago, it was horrific. So sad. One dad was so distraught when the police were called to his car in the work carpark and he realised his child was in it and had died that he tried to wrestle a gun off an officer to shoot himself.

I remember one case that was a perfect storm of errors and changes in routine that led to the mistake.

bookworm14 · 01/07/2025 22:21

I would advise extreme caution before reading that Washington Post article. I read it years ago and have never forgotten it. There are descriptions that will stay with you forever.

BeliesBelief · 01/07/2025 22:22

In most cases, it happens when there’s been a change in the routine - i.e. mum normally takes baby to nursery, but she wasn’t feeling well, so dad took them instead. Dad was sleep-deprived, drove to his office on autopilot instead of dropping baby at nursery en route, and completely forgot baby was in the back.

It could happen to anyone - it’s really not wise to judge. It’s recommended to leave something you need - like your phone, keys, or your work smart card - in the back of the car next to the baby. That way, you have to go into the back and there’s no risk of forgetting that the baby is there.

FiendsandFairies · 01/07/2025 22:29

bookworm14 · 01/07/2025 22:21

I would advise extreme caution before reading that Washington Post article. I read it years ago and have never forgotten it. There are descriptions that will stay with you forever.

I think the US mother went on to be featured in The Guardian’s Experience column a few years ago, written by herself (or transcribed from an interview).

I still think about it from time to time and just can’t get my head around what someone’s mental state must be like to forget their child is in the back of their car…

orangegongoozler · 01/07/2025 22:29

bookworm14 · 01/07/2025 22:21

I would advise extreme caution before reading that Washington Post article. I read it years ago and have never forgotten it. There are descriptions that will stay with you forever.

I agree. I read the article years ago and the descriptions have stuck with me

FishfingerFlinger · 01/07/2025 22:31

We once managed to lock one of our DC in the car aged around 6 at a motorway service station - all a bit flustered from travelling, I had other DC bursting for the toilet so I rushed ahead with him, thinking I had communicated to DH to go to get food with other DC. Meanwhile he thought I had taken both DC with me, and managed to jump out of the car and lock it with one DC still in the back. We only realised after about 5 mins when I reunited with DH, and we initially thought he’d got lost inside the service station so we spent another 5mins shouting for him before the penny dropped. DC was very upset but thankfully nothing worse. Before that happened I would have believed you could accidentally leave a 6yo locked in a car, but it was alarmingly very simple to do so.

Lardychops · 01/07/2025 22:31

How could you forgot your baby is in the car regardless of the weather
bonkers

8isgreat · 01/07/2025 22:33

It happens, people are distracted and it’s usually when there’s a change in childcare routine.
Unfortunately, in hot climates a small child doesn’t stand a chance and would die within a short space of time and although not frequent where I live you do hear about cases every few years.
There is some sort of car technology designed to prevent this from happening, but it will be a long time before it’s standard.

Empress13 · 01/07/2025 22:34

According to the news article the father had driven him to his work on an industrial estate at 9am and a colleague noticed him in the car 6 hours later! Firstly why was he taking him to work with him and how the hell could you forget surely the child would have made some noise in the car ? I’m sorry but I cannot believe you could just forget a child in the car. Think there’s possibly more to this story though there’s been no arrest as yet

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 01/07/2025 22:38

I would never do this to my dog never mind a child.

FatLarrysBanned · 01/07/2025 22:38

Lardychops · 01/07/2025 22:31

How could you forgot your baby is in the car regardless of the weather
bonkers

Its really not. As humans we manage a lot of our time on auto pilot. Mundane, routine tasks are done without too much brain power or thought. We are creatures of habit and routine. Something like the other parent taking the child to nursery when they usually drive straight to work is one of the most common reasons, especially if the child has fallen asleep.

After reading that article years ago I always made sure my handbag went next to DD's car seat and made DH do the same with his work bag as we dod the drop offs between us in our own cars. We were guaranteed to always check the back seat then.

None of those parents deliberately left their child in a car as hot as an oven. There but for the grace of God.

Empress13 · 01/07/2025 22:43

8isgreat · 01/07/2025 22:33

It happens, people are distracted and it’s usually when there’s a change in childcare routine.
Unfortunately, in hot climates a small child doesn’t stand a chance and would die within a short space of time and although not frequent where I live you do hear about cases every few years.
There is some sort of car technology designed to prevent this from happening, but it will be a long time before it’s standard.

Nah not buying it. I wouldn’t forget my dog let alone a child. Him slamming the car door would have woken the child if he’d been asleep surely ?

OP posts:
Heyheyitsanotherday · 01/07/2025 22:44

I remember reading the America article a few years ago and it’s stuck with me. Absolutely horrifying.
i have had busy mornings with lots on my mind and can see how this happens. Unbelievably tragic. The poor child.