Teacher thought dc were twins

[ifyousay]

DD(4) and ds(5) are 2 days under a year apart, both august babies and in their correct year so in reception and year 1. The same teacher who had DS last year has dd this year, no real problems and both kids kept up fine, dd was slightly ahead academically but struggled more socially and seemed to get in more trouble.

Talking to dh today their teacher referred to them as his twins and was surprised when he said they weren’t and clarified their birthdays then walked off. So she’s spent the whole year thinking they’re the same age and that we decided to separate twins and hold just one of them back.

Obviously the the years nearly over now and I’m not suggesting making a complaint or anything but AIBU to be a bit annoyed and think she should know the ages of her pupils, who’s the youngest and whose been held back ect?

I can’t held thinking she’s held dd to higher standards because all year she believed she should be at her brothers level rather than giving her the same understanding for being the youngest and that if she’d know dd would have had a gentler time and got more support.

Goodness me. That's a remarkable mistake from the teacher.

That's wild. She must be mortified! She's taught them both?? When I taught Reception their own age was one of their main topics of conversation!

That’s ludicrous! How on earth could she have thought that. It’s baffling.

This is a bizarre mistake to make. I don't understand why you think the teacher expects your daughter to be at year 1 level though. Teachers don't expect September babies to start reception with the knowledge of a year 1 child so why would she expect it of a deferred August child? Do you genuinely feel your daughter has struggled and has been denied support?

I was in the same situation as a child in the 70s. My brother and I are under a year apart with September birthdays but the 'same' ages for 11 days. Certain teachers couldn't get their heads around that.
No advice but I'd make it clear in September to new class teachers, in one syllable English.

The teacher cannot possibly have thought this, it would be so bizarre to have them in different year groups.

I mean, they would have looked at the brith dates out of curiosity no? Known that the younger was 4 not 5 when they started etc.

I can’t see how they could have made this mistake - are you sure it’s not a misunderstanding?

I have no experience of twins but I don’t see why it is such a wild idea that a parent would keep back one child and start the twin in reception. If the children were developing differently, if one had maybe had a medical thing going on, if one was just really ‘ready’ for school but the other was very much an ‘August baby’ and seems to young to start.

That makes no sense - age to the month is used in so many places in school. What a bizarre error to make!'

I agree

@ifyousay sorry do you mean your husband was the one to walk off. So he didn't bother to actually ask the teacher what could have happened?
This could have been as simple as an error with writing down the date of birth.
But he didn't ask....

Probably just a throwawsy comment because they are so alike rather than actually meaning it, or saying it with any thought

Very strange mistake from the teacher; probably sitting in the pub, total headf*ck, laughing about it with other teachers 😉

Wow! It’s crazy to think the whole issue of ages, birthdays, older/ younger hasn’t ever come up the whole year she’s been in the class. Or that the teacher has never referred to ‘your twin brother’ and been put right. You’d also think just in discussion with other staff, the teacher would become aware. Did the school not do home visits before starting reception? Date of birth is usually on data seen by teachers too.

They are Irish twins I guess, if born within a year? Could he have meant that?

As you’ve heard this second hand from your dh I expect this would have been it. My kids have been referred to as twins as a joke in the past because they look alike but everyone knows they aren’t, they are 3 years apart! Are you sure it wasn’t your dh who got the wrong end of the stick? Maybe the teacher looked surprised because she thought your dh had taken offence?

I knew someone who had two kids 11 months apart - one in September and one the following August. So they were in the same school year. Totally blows everyone’s brain!

When I was at primary school every child had their Date of birth next to their name in the (handwritten) register, don't they do this anymore, but then I am 48.

Possibly tongue in cheek and stopped short of saying Irish so as to not sound offensive?

This has surely been some type of misunderstanding, children talk about birthdays, ages especially at reception stage. As a teacher I always check dob on register there are lots of deferrals and it gets confusing. Theres so much assessment days during year requiring us to put actual age in years and months eg reading age so I don't know how she could really have your child's age wrong all year

If she’s been assessing her against the standards for a child a year older… that’s messy.

I was in the same class at school with a lad who has the same date of birth as me. More than one teacher thought we were twins, despite having different surnames (and parents!) admittedly that was secondary school but still…

I would have thought with registration, regular report writing, recording of data etc, the teacher must surely be using the school’s management information system on a daily basis. Date of birth would be on there for sure

I bet if you clarified this with the teacher, they didn't genuinely believe your two children who they taught both of, are really twins...

Did you or DH definitely put her DOB down correctly on the forms? I only ask as I'm a preschool teacher and looked after a little boy who's mum put the wrong month on his forms and made him 3 months younger than his actual age! It didn't actually affect anything and we only realised when his 3 year old funding kept getting denied!
If this is on the teacher though, then this is a shocker of a mistake!

We get people assuming they’re twins or joking they are regularly. She referred to them as twins, he went to smile thinking she was joking but could tell she being seriously so he clarified they’re not, she acted surprised and asked what their birthdays were and then apologised and and left to talk to another parent.