Teacher thought dc were twins

[ifyousay]

DD(4) and ds(5) are 2 days under a year apart, both august babies and in their correct year so in reception and year 1. The same teacher who had DS last year has dd this year, no real problems and both kids kept up fine, dd was slightly ahead academically but struggled more socially and seemed to get in more trouble.

Talking to dh today their teacher referred to them as his twins and was surprised when he said they weren’t and clarified their birthdays then walked off. So she’s spent the whole year thinking they’re the same age and that we decided to separate twins and hold just one of them back.

Obviously the the years nearly over now and I’m not suggesting making a complaint or anything but AIBU to be a bit annoyed and think she should know the ages of her pupils, who’s the youngest and whose been held back ect?

I can’t held thinking she’s held dd to higher standards because all year she believed she should be at her brothers level rather than giving her the same understanding for being the youngest and that if she’d know dd would have had a gentler time and got more support.

In this timr of August babies being held back a year, more understanding of developmental delays and twins being treated as individuals, am I the only one that doesn’t think this is terrible? Only if she thought she’d had them both in class at the same time would it be really bad.

In terms of your dd, August babies often are developmentally behind and struggle socially (on a population level), it’s crap - I’ve had a summer baby and the legacy is longstanding. Go to Australia and you see the same effect with their autumn borns who are youngest in the year and not the oldest.

Teachers don't expect September babies to start reception with the knowledge of a year 1 child so why would she expect it of a deferred August child?

No - but they expect older children in the year to be slightly more mature & independent than the july/august children. Because they typically are. Summer born children are actually more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD because of how they compare with older peers in the class.

Its honestly not unusual for teachers to have higher behaviour expectations of older children, girls especially.

I don’t really see the issue.

Sometimes twins are developmentally different.

I know many twins where one is fine and has normal cognitive function but the other has a learning disability, so has to be held back or even go to a completely different school.

The teacher would have assessed each child against the age group of that year, rather than assessing them against the age they think that they are.

Weird mistake to make but I don’t think you should go back and manufacture problems that might have arisen from this error in hindsight unless you actually held concerns about her treatment compared to classmates before.

Sounds like she’s doing just fine and in my DS’s reception there’s no expectation that the eldest in the year ought to be further ahead. The focus is on reading and writing in reception which they don’t expect anyone to be able to do already, even if one of the oldest in the year.

If there had been concerns genuinely held during the year, you’d have raised them as and when so I think you’re going back over with this new perspective that’s annoyed you and thinking up reasons your DD is hard done by that don’t actually exist.

Surely getting siblings in consecutive years isn't that uncommon though? So two children, a school year apart, the obvious conclusion would just be siblings not a deferred twin.

I have no idea when my pupil’s birthdays are - they’re in alphabetical order in the register, DOB doesn't go on their reports and we sort data according to their term of birth.

Think this is a misunderstanding.
Even if it’s not, it isn’t something that would annoy me.

I really don't get how this is not a misunderstanding. Surely you had discussions/home visits/some contact prior to each of them starting at the school? A deferral would include a discussion with the school? At the very least the teacher would have been made aware of it and the reasons why. I'd pressume here your DH has misunderstood the conversation..

I know it’s frowned upon now but people still use the phrase “Irish twins” for siblings who are very close in age. Perhaps she just just meant something like that .

As a Reception teacher?

Really? Loads of schools have a birthday wall in that age group

That’s also true. There must be literally tens of thousands of siblings in consecutive school years. Two of my children were. Very odd to assume they’re twins and one has been held back a year

Surely if a child had been delayed and was 'out of year's the teacher would be well aware of that? The school would have had to allow the application so it seems odd that they would do that but keep the information from the class teacher?

I would actually raise your concerns with the Head. That's quite a serious mistake to have made ALL YEAR in regards to your children.

They do actually have a birthday tree in the classroom but they both have august the 20 something birthdays and it wouldn’t say the year.

I doubt that would happen. As a Reception teacher I treated children as being at the level they were assessed at even if that happened to be much lower than age related expectations (not that these are). She shouldn't expect one to be the same as the other even if they had been twins.

I was made to take mine down a few years ago because of GDPR!

I know all the birthday months of the KS2 children I teach because I find it interesting but I have to ask them or actively check - it isn't something that's habitually visible to me otherwise.

As a Reception teacher I had a list in order of date of birth. 11 months makes a huge difference to children who are only 4 or 5 years old. I would definitely want to know their ages.

Whilst it is odd she probably made that assumption/ mistake at the beginning of the year and has accepted it as a fact and not noticed the different year of birth. It is surprising but that is the only explanation I can think of.

Mine are twins and a teacher at parents evening had no idea!

This was my first thought. She mentioned it, when he said they're not she possibly thought she had caused offence and stumbled over herself.

As a twin parent I feel it would be very strange to 'untwin' twins by putting them in different years. Can you imagine the physiological results of having to stay at school a whole year after your same aged twin went to uni? Or having to explain to all your friends that you are the same age but you were so dim when you were 4 you were not allowed to start school. Twins have enough problems from people comparing them already. The only possible reason I can think of is if one of them was severely special needs and will never access the normal curriculum at a mainstream school or maybe if one was in hospital for the whole year when they were 4 - and the teachers here know that is not the case!

why do you want to complain about the teacher ? Havent you got anything better to do.

Seems rather odd - are you sure she isn't joking?

No way! They calculate progress in years and months, how could she not know their ages? Unless someone else was performing all of their assessments?