Teacher thought dc were twins

[ifyousay]

DD(4) and ds(5) are 2 days under a year apart, both august babies and in their correct year so in reception and year 1. The same teacher who had DS last year has dd this year, no real problems and both kids kept up fine, dd was slightly ahead academically but struggled more socially and seemed to get in more trouble.

Talking to dh today their teacher referred to them as his twins and was surprised when he said they weren’t and clarified their birthdays then walked off. So she’s spent the whole year thinking they’re the same age and that we decided to separate twins and hold just one of them back.

Obviously the the years nearly over now and I’m not suggesting making a complaint or anything but AIBU to be a bit annoyed and think she should know the ages of her pupils, who’s the youngest and whose been held back ect?

I can’t held thinking she’s held dd to higher standards because all year she believed she should be at her brothers level rather than giving her the same understanding for being the youngest and that if she’d know dd would have had a gentler time and got more support.

That’s completely ridiculous. In a class of thirty kids it is considerably more likely than not that two will have the same birthday. I teach maths and it’s one of the examples I like to use when teaching probability. A teacher will come across this again and again through their career, especially in secondary when you work with several different classes not the one for a whole year like primary.

I guess she probably knew they were brother and sister, saw they had "August 20-something" birthdays and concluded twins. And didn't think much deeper about it. We're all guilty of being a bit dim sometimes!

Well I sincerely hope you’re not a Reception teacher because a year’s difference in age is pretty significant at this stage.

I don’t want to complain, I like the teacher but I am concerned how she’s spent a whole year thinking dd is a year older than she is, the oldest in the class who was held back a year from a ‘twin’ brother rather than the youngest like he was and how this could have effected dd.

Yes I think this is probably exactly what happened and if they were in year 5/6 or 8/9 I don’t think it would matter but when they’re so little I feel like she should have been aware that dd is so young and was not deferred.

Did she mean they were 'Irish twins' - the term used when someone has 2 children less than a year apart?

Haven't you got anything better to do than take two seconds to bother to actually read the post you're replying to, where OP specifically said "Im not suggesting making a complaint or anything?" 🙄

Yes but what's not clear is whether that will have disadvantaged OPs dd. There's plenty evidence that higher expectations are in many cases good for children long term. Teaching, particularly being with a young child over the course of a year is such a complex relational process that OP will never know whether it did dd any good, or harm.

That said, as in my first response I think it's a pretty daft and embarassing mistake of the teacher's. if it's anywhere like the schools I've worked in she will definitely be the butt of some good natured piss taking. OP sounds reasonable and not about to kick up a stink which is good.

@ifyousay if it's bothering you it might be worth asking the teacher if she was genuine in thinking they were twins.
It could be something as simple as one child in the class declaring that twins are "brothers and sisters who are born on the same day" (mostly true by 4 year olds logic).
As their birthday is the same day if someone said "so are you twins" one of them could have said "yes".
Or someone (you, husband, school admin) wrote down the wrong birth year on some paperwork.
You won't know.... unless you ask.

I don't think this is that wild. My younger two are 16 months apart and get referred to mistakenly as twins sometimes. Teachers see and interact with lots of different kids each day. I can see how it could be an easy mistake to make.

Surely the days of seeing "Irish twins" as an acceptable term are long gone?

Reception teachers have 30 kids sure, but it's generally a steady 30. And the less structured classroom environment (more time for chats with them) mean we know the kids inside out by the end of the year.

Plus as people have pointed out birth month can make a big difference when children are young- identifying our summer borns is a priority.

Wouldn't judge a secondary teacher for making the same mistake- totally different situation and it's less relevant.

How weird. I had two of mine with only one school year between them and at secondary school the teachers didn't even realise they were brother and sister! (They have a very common surname and ignored one another totally at school).

I have a school friend who was a year ahead of her twin brother. They went to separate single sex schools throughout, and her school promoted her to the year above in early primary as she was quite academically able (autumn birthday, so previously at the older end of the year, and private school with more wiggle room on that kind of thing). Her brother stayed in their original year, so finished school a year later. It was quite odd!

Surely the days of being deliberately offended by everything should be over too.

Why is everyone so shocked? My friend put her twins to school in different years. The boy wasn’t ready for school and the girl was. Of course sometimes twins don’t go to school at the same time.