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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is unreasonable here?

73 replies

Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:02

A B and C were meant to be going to a gig together. It’s sold out but they said they’d look for cheap tickets nearer the time. It’s in three days.

B now can’t make it for health reasons (recent drop out) and A is a big fan and desperate to go. B and C both said they would set a limit for £100 to go with A but that they can’t justify more than that.

C is looking for tickets and the minimum is about £110. They feel a bit pressured into going but less keen given it’s so soon, the tickets aren’t below the price they agreed and also B has dropped out so it wouldn’t be a full girls night out anyway. However they feel response as they did say they would go with A in the first place if they could get reasonably priced tickets.

should C honour the commitment even if the tickets are more expensive? They’ve told A that they’ll need to make sure they get reasonable tickets before they fully commit

OP posts:
Zippidydoodah · 01/07/2025 14:03

Yes, I think C should if it’s £110. It’s only £10 over budget. If it was a lot more, then I’d say they could say no.

I’m assuming you’re C?

Chamomileteaplease · 01/07/2025 14:04

Why isn't A looking for tickets and doing the work for C?

Firstsipofcoffee · 01/07/2025 14:04

You lost me

but ultimately No One should be forced in to spending one penny more than they are happy to

and this group of “friends” really don’t sound all that friendly

Firstsipofcoffee · 01/07/2025 14:05

Who are you in this equation? A B C (or R maybe 😆)?

anitarielleliphe · 01/07/2025 14:06

Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:02

A B and C were meant to be going to a gig together. It’s sold out but they said they’d look for cheap tickets nearer the time. It’s in three days.

B now can’t make it for health reasons (recent drop out) and A is a big fan and desperate to go. B and C both said they would set a limit for £100 to go with A but that they can’t justify more than that.

C is looking for tickets and the minimum is about £110. They feel a bit pressured into going but less keen given it’s so soon, the tickets aren’t below the price they agreed and also B has dropped out so it wouldn’t be a full girls night out anyway. However they feel response as they did say they would go with A in the first place if they could get reasonably priced tickets.

should C honour the commitment even if the tickets are more expensive? They’ve told A that they’ll need to make sure they get reasonable tickets before they fully commit

Technically, "C" could bail because the ticket prices are going higher than the agreed upon limit. However, it is not that much more, and C does know how much A wants to go. C should look at the issue with the tables turned. What if C had made a pact with B and A to go to some other event that meant more to her than the others, and for health reasons, only A could now go. How would C feel if A said, "I'm sorry, I cannot go now because it will cost me 10 more pounds than we agreed to." Would you, "C," understand and respect that or would you think your friend was using a convenient excuse, and be annoyed?

Original poster
Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:06

I am C! And what do you mean don’t sound friendly?!

OP posts:
MarxistMags · 01/07/2025 14:06

Why can't you use B's ticket ?

Original poster
Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:07

No one has a ticket yet - it was agreed to get them at the very last minute to save on money

OP posts:
ShortColdandGrey · 01/07/2025 14:07

Are you really not going to go because it costs £10 more? A should tell you not to worry and go and have a great time on her own.

Piffle11 · 01/07/2025 14:08

Does A know that you have found tickets at £110? Is A searching for tickets too?

Original poster
Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:08

It’s more the fact that it’s an artist I’m not as keen on and it’s already £100 - I just feel like where do you draw the line…

OP posts:
Firstsipofcoffee · 01/07/2025 14:09

You’re C and you don’t feel comfortable spending more

so good grief op, no one should be forcing you too

and surely, surely, A has more than 2 friends?

Firstsipofcoffee · 01/07/2025 14:10

Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:06

I am C! And what do you mean don’t sound friendly?!

Because with a decent friend you wouldn’t be worrying

Arlanymor · 01/07/2025 14:10

If it's above the budget already agreed then don't go, you set your boundary. If someone else is mad keen to go they can find someone else to pay extortionate prices.

EggnogNoggin · 01/07/2025 14:10

Well what's the regular price? If its £500 then blaming the price being a tenner more is a bit 🤨

If standard price is £130, then £110 isn't really a "cheap" ticket.

Firstsipofcoffee · 01/07/2025 14:10

Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:08

It’s more the fact that it’s an artist I’m not as keen on and it’s already £100 - I just feel like where do you draw the line…

Whatever you damn well want

YellowGrey · 01/07/2025 14:12

Tricky. £110 is a lot of money for something you're not that keen on. But as it's only £10 higher than the £100 agreed upon, I can see why A might feel disappointed in C.

No one is being unreasonable but on balance I think A should go on her own.

EggnogNoggin · 01/07/2025 14:12

Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:08

It’s more the fact that it’s an artist I’m not as keen on and it’s already £100 - I just feel like where do you draw the line…

Well I wouldn't have made vague maybe noises for something at that price. I'd begrudge £20 tbh.

But if you said you'd go for £100 it's a little churlish to blame cost for an extra tenner.

The time to drop out was when the other person did.

stichguru · 01/07/2025 14:13

Depends how much A means to you! If I were A, you not spending at extra £10 on an activity that I really wanted to do and you said you'd do with me, would tell me a I didn't mean much too you! If that's not the impression you want to give, then spend the extra money and don't drop out. However, I don't think you would be like objectively immoral to drop out, just that your friend might not want to really be friends with you after!

LittleGreenDragons · 01/07/2025 14:13

Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:08

It’s more the fact that it’s an artist I’m not as keen on and it’s already £100 - I just feel like where do you draw the line…

So why the hell did you agree to go?

If you wanted to go somewhere and your friends agreed to go, wouldn't you feel shat upon if they said the day before, nah mate I'm not spending that extra tenner.

You aren't a good friend.

Original poster
Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:14

Some of these replies are completely horrible! If you agreed a hard limit of £100, you’re really going to break that just to people please?

OP posts:
dragonfliesanddandelions · 01/07/2025 14:14

If you aren't keen on the artist then why did you agree to go in the first place? I would be a bit upset if you pulled out now for the sake of a tenner. Having said that, I would probably just go by myself and I wouldn't hold a grudge.

Firstsipofcoffee · 01/07/2025 14:14

Why are you going the research if A is the real fan?

doesn’t A have anyone else to go with?

Original poster
Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:16

I am a very good friend. I resent that.

it was meant to be a group girls night out but it is no longer the case.

My limit was £100.

If it were me, I would go by myself

OP posts:
Firstsipofcoffee · 01/07/2025 14:17

Llamachameleon · 01/07/2025 14:16

I am a very good friend. I resent that.

it was meant to be a group girls night out but it is no longer the case.

My limit was £100.

If it were me, I would go by myself

🙄

You have misinterpreted. Actually read my posts. I am VeRY clear that no way should C feel obliged to spend a penny more than she wants to