Was my husband unreasonable or was I

[missingouts]

I’m always easily bitten by bugs and when I am I react really badly the bite gets huge and insufferably itchy. My husband is aware of this and is always rubbing itch cream into bites I can’t reach if we go to a bbq or our out late at night. I have all the bug sprays itch creams etc but I still get bitten. Last night before the bugs normally come out we were both outside I decided to sit on our been bag type garden chair. The chair shape collapsed and I was well and truly wedged in it not really a problem as I was comfy to begin with until I saw all these bugs swarming. I tried to get up but I have a few conditions that make me weak and I was so stuck even someone who wasn’t weak would have struggled. First sign of a bug swarm I called my husband who was about 2 meters away and said can you help me up. He walked over and said you can do just use your strength learn to help yourself in a jokey tone. I pleaded with him just to help me up as the bugs were going to bite me. I’m desperately trying to get out and swat the bugs. He finally relented and gave me a hand after I begged. Came inside and realised before bed that I was bitten to peace’s had to cover myself in itchy cream. I’m know awake as I can’t sleepy due to the itching on all my bites. I’ve got 2 on my face 2 on my left arm 1 on my right leg on and 1 on my left foot. I’m fuming at myself for sitting down with out checking but also annoyed at my husband for being an ass he thought he was trying to be funny. How would you handle this my foot bite is massive.

I'm sorry about your bug bites OP but it does come over that you use your H to look after you rather than you behaving like an independent adult.

Oh you poor thing! Have you tried taking antihistamine tablets for the itching/swelling?
Your DH could definitely have been more helpful/sympathetic. Is that normal for him or unusual?

I’m so sorry about the bites. It might be that your husband didn’t realise that there were loads of bugs and thought you were overreacting but once he realised should have done more.

i react like you to bigs so know hot you feel. One thing my doctor told me is to take an antihistamine daily so that the histamine is in your system so immediately gets to work when you are bitten! It definitely helps.

also if I’m going on holiday I’m a mosquito magnet and I’ve found tgst taking odourless garlic tablets daily from 2 weeks before works too - I think it changes the smell of your blood. Don’t know if this would work for you as it doesn’t sound like it’s mosquitoes.

the bites sound horrible. Do take an antihistamine like piriton to stop them itching.

as for your husband, it is hard to judge if he was just dumb and misunderstood the problem or if he was being deliberately cruel. What is his attitude now? Is he sympathetic and apologetic or minimising things?

I react badly to bug bites and never sit outside without being fully covered up

bites -

take a systemic antihistamine (usually a tablet).
you can buy anti histamine cream from the chemist and also a painkilling cream (I use lanacaone)

if you put the creams on and alternate them, with a dressing to keep the cream in contact with the skin it makes a massive difference.

If you are sensitive to bites, as I am, why would you sit outside when there are bugs? Especially if you know you are weak and cannot get up easily ? What if your husband wasnt around?
Avoidance is best for bites.
If you are very sensitive then get a steroid cream and I use the mossie heat gadgets to stop the itching

YABU
you are responsible for yourself

Is your husband actually your carer? Even so I’m wondering why you would sit on a beanbag if you have muscle weakness? What would you do if your husband wasn’t around? I’m pretty overweight but can generally get myself to my hands and knees to get up off the floor.

However your husband doesn’t sound very sympathetic but I think on the face of it YABU.

You’re over reacting a bit to him and projecting your anger at yourself onto him I reckon. You’re responsible for sitting outside in a chair you knew you’d struggle to get out of at a time of day which you were likely to get bitten. This is on you.

Does he often have to take care of you like a child? Yabu really

Try virasooth gel. It's for chicken pox but does wonders on my bug bites.

Yes sorry I am with PPs. You are responsible for yourself. Maybe he’s a little tired of caring all the time and didn’t mean to be unsympathetic or helpful. Why are you sitting outside and why aren’t you taking antihistamines??

Another poster here who thinks you should be taking care of yourself, as should all adults.

Is your husband your carer?

When was the last time you took him out for a pint to say thank you? Genuinely curious.

Tbf you had probably already been bitten before you called him over but if you were struggling to get up due to health conditions and asked for help it was mean of him to tease you.

Why were you doing lounging about in the garden if you react that badly? At the first sign of a biting insect I’m indoors. I don’t wait until I’m being assailed by a cloud of them then flounder around waiting to be rescued. YABU to be annoyed at your DH because of your own lack of foresight.

Absolutely ridiculous responses from people saying you should take care of yourself. If you were stuck, you were stuck. What were you supposed to do, stay there indefinitely?!

It doesn't sound like he took long to help you out though? You called him over, he made his jokey comment, he helped you out. Unless he left you for ages it sounds like he's not really responsible for all those bites.

They do sound painful though you poor thing.

I react really badly to anything that bites - bites get huge and turn into multi headed blisters. I've got a 50mg Prednisone script to take if needed. I try not to take that very often - it's a last resort

Prior to that, as soon as possible I take antihistamines. A chemist told me Fexofenadine eg Telfast is good for bites and I've had good success with it. I just get the generic 180mg version.

Play stupid games....

You know you're sensitive to bites yet you still sat in a chair you couldn't get out of and were uncovered I'm assuming. If you have these issues you should take precautions. It isn't your husband's job to babysit you.

You're not being unreasonable. Regardless of whether you should have anticipated the bugs, you were unable to get up and any reasonable human being would have helped you up.

I think you need to work on your independence - what would you have done if he wasn't around. Either don't sit in a chair you can't get up from our position it next to something you can use to help you up.

Where do you live where there are swarms of bugs!

Jesus, these comments!?

Your husband was being a prick to not help you immediately when you asked.

I’ve always taken two/three of my usual one a day loratadine antihistamine if they are swelling badly. It works.

A doctor would prescribe stronger medication if necessary. All anti itch creams that you buy abroad are also much stronger than you can buy in the UK. Maybe google brands and buy some online?