Was my husband unreasonable or was I

[missingouts]

I’m always easily bitten by bugs and when I am I react really badly the bite gets huge and insufferably itchy. My husband is aware of this and is always rubbing itch cream into bites I can’t reach if we go to a bbq or our out late at night. I have all the bug sprays itch creams etc but I still get bitten. Last night before the bugs normally come out we were both outside I decided to sit on our been bag type garden chair. The chair shape collapsed and I was well and truly wedged in it not really a problem as I was comfy to begin with until I saw all these bugs swarming. I tried to get up but I have a few conditions that make me weak and I was so stuck even someone who wasn’t weak would have struggled. First sign of a bug swarm I called my husband who was about 2 meters away and said can you help me up. He walked over and said you can do just use your strength learn to help yourself in a jokey tone. I pleaded with him just to help me up as the bugs were going to bite me. I’m desperately trying to get out and swat the bugs. He finally relented and gave me a hand after I begged. Came inside and realised before bed that I was bitten to peace’s had to cover myself in itchy cream. I’m know awake as I can’t sleepy due to the itching on all my bites. I’ve got 2 on my face 2 on my left arm 1 on my right leg on and 1 on my left foot. I’m fuming at myself for sitting down with out checking but also annoyed at my husband for being an ass he thought he was trying to be funny. How would you handle this my foot bite is massive.

Your not a child op sorry but why rely on your husband so much.
I have a skin condition that is made worse by the sun.
I itch i scale come out in awful rashes sometimes i blister.
But i have to take care of myself.
Its not down to others to do it when i know what t is wrong with me and know what to do.

Complete non-issue, unfortunate you got stuck and hadn’t applied repellant but him not immediately running to you won’t have made that much of a difference. Proactive action on your part will be the long term action- I get bitten and don’t react well so use repellents and live my life, antihistamines when it gets itchy.

If your dh is encouraging you to be more independent could it be you are more dependant on him than you are willing to admit. Not relevant to the non-issue here, if he’d been inside or you’d had to wait for someone else to come the delay would have been longer.

Does anybody actually have to be unreasonable here?
It was just a 'thing' that happened. I don't know about anyone else, but things do just happen to me; bad luck, things break etc.
You are sensitive to bites, your dh found it funny that something unexpected happened. That's all it is.

Do we really have to blame someone for everything or are we not in a world anymore that we accept that things happen and we just deal with them and move on. Because if it's the former, and judging by a hell of a lot of posts at the moment on here, it is the former, it's a very sad state of affairs.

I don't know I mean she was sat on a chair not dangling off a cliff edge? I know the OP is written quite dramatically with the OP 'pleading' to be released from the chair but its sounds like her husband just made a dumb joke then helped her up. He isn't her servant, he doesn't have to jump the second she says jump.

If my husband wasn’t around I would have been stuck like that I would have had to call someone to come like my sister.

You would have called your sister, really, you would have called someone to ask you to give you a hand up?

Are you for real?

So what should she have done? She has a condition that means she has weaker muscles than most. She can't get out of the chair. What is your solution other than asking someone to help her out? Stay there until someone discovers her body? Pray for divine intervention? Call the fire brigade?

It all just sounds quite unfortunate Op.

Did he really leave you there for that long?

Do you think he was being deliberately unkind?

Exactly this, it’s frustrating to read some mn posts where a non-event is turned into a dramatic, life shattering performance. Pleading for help to stand up (although OP missed the classic ‘crying and shaking’, maybe a good old snappped and farted was called for)

Your husband was horrible not to help you up but you do seem rather hapless when it comes to protecting yourself against insect bites.

The bugs are totally unrelated to you being stuck in the chair. Even if you weren't stuck, you'd have been bitten - ergo not his fault.

You DH was less than helpful for what, all of 10 seconds? I'm not sure I could get as angry about this as you are.

He hardly through a tarp over you and called job done…I think you are overreacting on this one. I’m going to go out on a limb and say you might be a teensy dramatic based on your detailed description of your bug bites.

Reassess how you feel about your husband once you've treated the bug bites and you're not longer itchy.

You said he "finally relented," so after what, 20 minutes? If that's the case, yeah, that wasn't very nice. But if it was just a couple of minutes, I think it's not a big deal.

I, too, am a mosquito buffet, and I mostly stay indoors.

YABU - if you can’t get up from a seat, don’t get in it. Your hubby should have helped you but he was clearly being a bit silly and maybe thought you werent in such perilous danger!
Also six bites isn’t bitten to pieces! I have horrific reactions to bites and don’t go outside when it’s dark / bugs are likely to be out, or if I do I’m covered up! Last time I did I had about 30 on the back of my thighs…
take an antihistamine and use hydrocortisone cream. You will survive

Always spray yourself before going outside , Avon skin so soft spray Is brilliant I’ve used it before & after for random bug bites
also where I live in Cheshire there are hundreds of mosquitos !

Get some Tiger Balm, the red one.

No one’s being unreasonable I don’t think are they??

op you sat outside in the heat with bugs everywhere when you get bitten alive so really it’s on you
its not his fault.

you sound abit needy and precious to be honest

so you fell through a chair.. you were stuck, you asked for help and he refused and laughed at you. Even without the bugs he's a massive twat.

@missingouts an Afterbite pen always stops the itching for me (plus antihistamine tablet)

You sound fun, I would have laughed my bloody head off if my husband did this and he me!

Are you disabled? If not, YABU and need to exercise regularly

I mean if you know you get really bad bug bites I wouldn’t have been sat outside near the bugs without having my arms and legs covered or a suitable working repellant. Certainly not on a beanbag seat either.

Surely this interaction was mere seconds? You would have been bitten by the time you got near the door even if you didn’t need his help.

Have you thought about building a screened deck so you can sit outside safely?

I don’t think he was unreasonable. He joked for a minute and then helped. Do you use DEET? I also get huge swollen bites but DEET helps

Did you clearly state the sense of urgency to him? The whole scenario seems entirely reasonable, but if you asked him to help you up quickly as there was a swarm of bugs then he is a bit unreasonable to have used the opportunity to joke. If he wasn’t aware of the bugs then he was totally reasonable in his approach.

@Lilywc Do you live near Parkgate?

To the OP I think you ought not to get into a position where you need sudden help, what if your husband had gone in to use the toilet etc?