How long is too long to leave a baby crying?

[xbob]

I wfh and live in a semi and with it being summer and the windows open I can hear next doors baby crying a couple of times a day for up to half an hour.
It sounds as though they put them upstairs in the bedroom and leave them to cry until they eventually fall asleep.
I think this because I also hear it about 7/7:30 when I imaging it’s baby going to bed.
I don’t know if this is normal or not as I don’t have children but it’s literally anything up to half an hour, I’d imagine if a baby cries it needs something or a cuddle?

Would this concern you? As I said I don’t have children so if this is perfectly fine I’ll be happy to hear that.
Baby is about 8/9 months old.

How long has this been going on? It may be that they are trying sleep training in order to help with independent sleeping. Up to half an hour is not that long. I imagine they have a baby monitor and are checking in to make sure there is no emergency.

I wouldnt do that

They are probably sleep training although if it’s been going on over many days then it obviously isn’t working. Sleep training is contentious, a lot of people wouldn’t do it but if you’re thinking of calling social services etc then they won’t be interested.

Well I have only just started to hear this as I have all the windows open and so do they so I don’t know if it’s recent or I’ve just not heard before with the windows closed.

No I can’t imagine I could but then I don’t have any experience with babies and what’s ok or not ok.

Sometimes babies will cry for this long even if your cuddling them, have fed them, changed them, etc. I bet it’s the heat - baby is probably over tired as too hot to fall asleep. I feel for anyone with small babies when the weather is like this.

Is it really possible to know that the baby is being left unattended?

No absolutely not but I can go by what it sounds like and it sounds like it coming from the upstairs back bedroom as sometimes I am in my garden.

I think it also depends on the crying. Screaming and obviously distressed then it’s far too long.

I wouldn’t do sleep training or leave a little baby to cry for thirty minutes but people do.

I understand your concerns but you can’t possibly know the whole story. I’m guessing sleep training, not something I would do but at that age it could be after months of sleep deprivation for the parents. Baby might not be left unattended and could be teething which is common at that age xx

I don't think you can assume that any crying means the baby is unattended. Some babies cry, especially in the evenings, even when their mum is there with them and desperately trying to work out what's wrong.

Echo that you don't know they're being left alone.

My little one had a horrendous night a few nights ago. They desperately wanted to sleep but were too hot and overtired. Breastfeeding would give a few mins respite before they got too hot and start crying again. Rocking to sleep similar. They were crying for what felt like ages, but at no point were they left alone.

I have an 8 month old - no way I’d leave her alone to cry for 30 minutes! Makes me feel awful just thinking about it. She’s crying because she needs something. If possible she gets plugged straight on the boob, works like a charm 😂

If anyone was with the baby comforting them, I expect you’d hear the adult talking, singing etc.

It’s most likely to be sleep training, to echo others it’s not something I would have done but people do, it just makes me feel a bit sad.

But they could be in there with the baby. My neighbours probably assumed I left mine to cry for ages at bedtime, but it was just that they cried when I was there!

Our neighbours baby cried every evening for hours from colic - stopped around 6 or 7 months. He certainly wasn't left unattended and poor parents were at their wits end trying everything 😢

My ds could cry like this when overtired/hot even if I was beside him at bedtime.

My first cried for hours even in my arms. It was reflux but I didn’t know that at the time. So distressing to listen to.

Some babies just hate bedtime.

My LO went through a phase of crying even with us there rocking her.

I was so paranoid about neighbours so definitely don’t raise it, I’d have been mortified.

The parents will also ve desperately trying to get the baby to cry less - whether that’s by sleep training or not.

So awful to hear this, you have my sympathies. I hope very much they aren’t leaving the baby alone to cry. But people do it.

I have a child with allergies when it's triggered.... especially in the heat nothing stops them crying it's horrendous for everyone. Yes they are under medical treatment.

Depends on the type of cry too. There's plenty of crying that isn't full blown upset cry, it's more of a whinge. They might be with the baby and it's still crying. Half an hour isn't that bad.

I don’t believe in cry it out or sleep training (may work for others but I don’t).

I have a 17 month old who cries in bed currently and I have to lie there with her as she screams and flails about because she doesn’t want to sleep/teething/bugs/BF weaning. I’ve had to explain to the neighbours in passing, I am there, I am soothing her but she’s going through a phase. It can be 45 mins - over an hour of me and her dad trying to get our very difficult sleeper to sleep. But she’s never alone.

So what I’m saying is, you don’t know 100% the baby has been left alone. If you’re concerned, do try and find out who the parents are but do be cautious.

8/9 months could be teething pain.

It could also be sleep training.

It could be mum's desperation for time to herself.

If it's short term I don't think it's concerning of itself - I might not choose to sleep train and have some concerns about it at a young age, but it has been used throughout time by many parents. Good enough parenting is enough.

There is a level of crying/screaming especially if you hear choking/vomiting that I would start to be concerned about if I could not then hear an adult comforting them .

Unless it's getting worse I'm not sure it reaches social services contact level - it's a very hard thing to measure though and no-one would want to cause a mother more distress without good reason, only to protect a child from real harm.

I’m in this phase right now! I do worry the neighbours think we’ve neglected ours as the screaming is epic. It’s a really tough time especially as we’re not doing CIO and sit there for hours.