How long is too long to leave a baby crying?

[xbob]

I wfh and live in a semi and with it being summer and the windows open I can hear next doors baby crying a couple of times a day for up to half an hour.
It sounds as though they put them upstairs in the bedroom and leave them to cry until they eventually fall asleep.
I think this because I also hear it about 7/7:30 when I imaging it’s baby going to bed.
I don’t know if this is normal or not as I don’t have children but it’s literally anything up to half an hour, I’d imagine if a baby cries it needs something or a cuddle?

Would this concern you? As I said I don’t have children so if this is perfectly fine I’ll be happy to hear that.
Baby is about 8/9 months old.

Personally I will not leave my baby to cry for any length of time beyond what might occasionally be strictly necessary for practical reasons (like I'm rinsing my conditioner out and she wakes and starts crying). Half an hour is pretty bloody awful in my book and I would hate to hear it. That being said, on the basis of that alone I wouldn't expect social services to care or get involved. The threshold for intervention is a lot higher, even if it is bad parenting.

They’re probably sleep training. It does sound awful but they’re not a tiny baby being left.

They might be doing the cry it out technique.

Some people do different things when sleep training. There's the cold turkey version where they just let them cry and cry, and it gets less over time. And then there's a gentler version where you let them cry for a minute, go in and cuddle, then let them cry for two minutes, go in and cuddle, three minutes, etc etc.

Whatever you think about sleep training, lots of people still do it and it won't be considered any type of neglect by social services.

If someone is going to be sleep training, it's good manners to call into your neighbours on either side and let them know that they may hear some crying over the next few days. If there's no progress over the course of a week, the parents should give up on it as the child clearly isn't ready.

My first was colicky and would easily cry for half an hour while being cuddled and carried around a room. Some people try to stay in the bedroom while comforting them so that the baby doesn't get overstimulated by going back downstairs.

My baby is teething badly and will cry continuously, in my arms, for 20-30 minutes. This is after calpol, teething granules, anbesol. I also breastfeed which can be an extra comfort. There’s nothing I can do about it and I’m very self-conscious about the windows being open. Sometimes I try to project my voice over her screams so that anyone that might be overhearing knows she’s not alone.

One of my twins was like this.
Poor little love.
Luckily, I had really decent neighbours.

I personally wouldn’t do it but sleep training is something some parents do.

To be fair if my neighbours baby cried consistently for months I’d probably knock on their door with some food or something, it must be bloody hard having a colicky baby.

There could be any number of reasons why the baby is crying, my friends DD has profound physical and Mental disabilities and she cries alot sometime for up to an hour and then she will stop suddenly and then start again with no reason. Unfortunately if you run to a crying baby everytime it's not gonna learn to self soothe.

Bear in mind just because the baby is heard crying doesn’t mean he/she is unattended. I have a 18 month old who is hating this heat plus teething. He is dosed up with pain relief and still crying while he’s held all day at times. He doesn’t cry for long but it can go on for a good 20 minutes multiple times a day.

Sleep training is a personal choice. If it’s not for you then that’s fine but it’s not neglectful in a otherwise loving home. And that’s if it’s even sleep training! Baby could be overtired and grumpy in the heat. They might be riding out a nap transition. Teething perhaps. For all you know baby could be being cuddled throughout and still crying.

Its also possible that the baby isn't alone. Some babies cry, even when they're being comforted/consoled.

A baby can still cry a lot even when being held so you can't be sure they've just been left.

My 10 mo is going through a sleep regression at the moment and screams as soon as we leave the room, but does settle after a few minutes. The heat doesn’t help either. I bet the parents are just outside the room monitoring him/her. 30 minutes is far too long though but impossible to tell if the baby has been left alone. They could very well be in the room with the baby.

It’s not something I would do as a matter of course but perhaps the parents are desperate and have tried everything else and are trying sleep training to help baby sleep.
I agree with the poster who said that the type of crying is perhaps relevant here. Half an hour of intense, painful or very upset crying that’s getting worse would worry me a lot more than a ‘girny/whiny’, tired sort of cry that’s more like a baby fighting sleep and seems to be abating.
The fact that it seems to happening at set times also suggests some kind of sleep training and would worry me a a bit less than random long periods of screaming.
Unless it seems to be getting worse or baby is particularly distressed I’d probably not do anything for now. Ringing your local GP health visiting team might be a good first port of call rather than SS. They might just need a bit of support and health visitor might look in on them in a low key, supportive way.

As others have said it sounds like sleep training, especially at that age. I personally couldn’t do it but each to their own.

Babies cry for extended periods for lots of reasons though. Mine had CMPA and bad reflux as a young baby and the crying could go on for hours. I’d be carrying/holding her the whole time but if you couldn’t see that you’d think something terrible was happening.

If there is nothing else concerning then I’d just mind my business and wait for it to pass.

Poor lamb 😞

I never let my babies cry themselves to sleep so for me any time is too long. Babyhood time is so short I loved settling mine to sleep and miss those days now but I have friends who did do sleep training and it worked for them. I don’t like to hear an upset baby.

I always remember a pp who said she had an angry neighbour knock on her door demanding to know why she was letting her baby cry alone for so long - the baby was in her arms screaming when she opened the door! Just because a baby is crying doesn't mean it's been left. If you're only hearing it recently my guess would be the heat is making baby irritable

If your neighbours were anything like us, we just felt huge sympathy for them and babba 😢 we knew they were lovely parents and their little one was a cheerful sunny little chap once the colic had passed!

The problem is you don’t know. Some babies cry even when held - not sure how old the baby is left but it’s very dangerous until 6 months so it’s unlikely if it’s that long.

My dd had an undiagnosed severe milk allergy (diagnosis was life changing) and would literally scream for hours day and night. It took us beyond the brink. Nothing we did soothed her. We’d take it in shifts to drive her around during the night whilst the other got a few precious hours sleep

Half an hour is nothing in our world

Some babies do cry in the transition to sleep. Half an hour is quite a long time - I would have thought ten minutes. But you don’t know - my second baby cried a lot and I was always holding her. Putting her down at night was quite a long process until she sort if ‘got it’ at three months.

My 2 DS both cried in the evening for an hour when babies even when I held them in my arms constantly. I never let them cry.

My baby screamed from colic for the first 3 months - we were holding her night and day, we used to take shifts! Now at 8 months she’s very happy, but still has a set of lungs and screams blue murder over very little thing … mildly whacking herself in the face with a teddy … wants to come out the high chair … even when just waking in the night for food! I often worry what the neighbours think. I’d never leave her to cry, but they must roll their eyes, she is so loud!