Do I need to unclench? Horrified by comment my manager made

[KellieMum3]

I recently moved teams at work, think big corporate company with a lot of middle managers. Team meeting (virtual) today. Manager was in the office - someone pointed out this isn’t his usual day to go in. His response was to say he checked the forecast and picked the day the most female flesh would be on display. Much laughter from some others on the call.

Am I being prudish or is that really not the time or place for such a comment?!

Yes and racism used to be seen as banter too, times have changed, thank god.
What's funny about him leering at women???

He’s either thick or bold as brass.

Don't approach him. Do make a complaint. How fucking dare he talk like that.

Are you higher or lower than him in hierarchy?
I would drop him a message saying you want to make it clear that the comment was inappropriate, you’re surprised he thinks it was ok and you’re giving him a heads-up (as a more experienced employee) that he could get into trouble if he says similar again.

When will they ever learn. It’s 2025, don’t you just wish they’d come up with something clever instead. I would have smiled and said nothing, afraid to speak up or tell HR, but would have hated this. So, they’d get away with it. As someone else already said: fucking depressing.

Grim. I used to put up with so many revolting sexist jokes, remarks, conversations etc in the office in my 20s. Now I’m 40 I can’t stand these sleazy men anymore.

Basically saying women are just pieces of meat for men to salivate over. Yuck.

So the person in charge of people’s careers, salary reviews, upholding company values etc, thought about and decided to openly say ‘I’ve chosen today to come into the office so I can letch at tits and arse’ to his team?

and that’s the kind of leader you’re okay with?

Blimey, sexist prick!
Was the meeting recorded by any chance?

I can’t believe 7% of votes say YABU. Obviously, you’re not. It’s gross.

That comment was unacceptable, vile, and way out of line! The caveman needs reporting and the matter investigated thoroughly. No one, absolutely NO ONE, has a right to make comments like that in any environment!

"Flesh"? Gross.

Talk about being treated like a piece of meat.

No it wasn’t.

Someone else asked if I know of any other colleagues disapproving, I am not close with any of them yet to be able to ask. It isn’t a team I applied to join, my previous team was disbanded and we were moved around based on which processes we work.

Nah...my boss makes jokes. Thankfully he would never regard viewing his female staff as flesh to be ogled at as a joke.
I absolutely would take offence at such a comment.

I work for a big corporate company, it would not be accepted here. I would 100% report this. Turning a blind eye to such casual sexism is why it still exists in 2025. He needs to know he can't behave in that way. He's clearly not particularly intelligent to have thought it was okay to say that. And he is in charge of a team of people? Definitely report to HR.

Ughh. As a male I object to such sexism and lecherous behaviour, and as a manager at work they should know better.
It's difficult as a new one on the team, do you risk upsetting a few numpties and raise it with them/HR (I'm of the view that if someone would speak that in a work meeting, they are unlikely to take it well) or do you write this one down and raise it next time there's an issue..... I think I would err towards raising it straight away, as ducking it is to allow it to continue.

What was the funny bit?

I love a bit of office banter…which this certainly wasn’t. Which office playbook is he working from? The Douchebag’s Seventies Management Almanac? Definitely one to report.

JFC - literally since Freud in the 19th fucking century we have known that jokes aren't 'just jokes'.

They usually involve an 'in' and and 'out' group for a very simplistic start - one group whose needs and values are normalised and prioritised, and the 'other' group who are defined by their not being the in group.

In this case the other ones are women - all women.

These ideas are very basic critical thinking. Unless you genuinely lack cognitive capacity you have had to make a decision not to come to these conclusions all by yourself - suggest you ask yourself why you've done that.

This wouldn’t be tolerated where I work and if it did happen I would have expected several people to have remarked on it and set him straight. But it just wouldn’t happen. We have a strict policy on how to deal with this stuff, the intention is to make them see the error of their ways hopefully but if necessary it goes as far as needed.

edited as missed a word out

Probably the people on the other thread trending today where a guy jumped in with an innuendo about someone getting her lip filler topped up.

I think the casual or low level stuff is actually more egregious than really out there stuff - because it is harder to directly challenge and the jerks who do it know full well what they are doing but can pretend they are innocent and have no idea. Its really sneaky.

I think as a one-off it’s just a badly-placed joke which he may well have regretted afterwards. We can’t pretend men don’t have sex drives and/or like to make filthy banter with other blokes, after all.

However, if it happened again or he’s said this kind of thing before then that’s a totally different story. Nope! Then he’s a sexism prick, without a doubt.

@PistachioTiramisuOff topic but is your username a reference to the M&S Pistachio Tiramisu?! If so, isn’t it heavenly?!?!?! My eyes turned into little hearts when I tried it 😍

It's funny that this (and much worse) used to be so normal and acceptable. I'd eye roll, I'm guessing he's older and stuck in the dark ages. I don't think I could get worked up about it.

'The 1970s called ... they'd like your attitude back.'

Your manager needs taking down... by women!