Do I need to unclench? Horrified by comment my manager made

[KellieMum3]

I recently moved teams at work, think big corporate company with a lot of middle managers. Team meeting (virtual) today. Manager was in the office - someone pointed out this isn’t his usual day to go in. His response was to say he checked the forecast and picked the day the most female flesh would be on display. Much laughter from some others on the call.

Am I being prudish or is that really not the time or place for such a comment?!

He’s an idiot with views from the 1960s - thought/hoped we’d be past all this in 2021.

This ^ unfortunately but it’s the truth.
I think ‘why did you say that’ is a good approach but doesn’t always work especially if others are laughing.

He’s off a graduate scheme, appears to be following the ‘management handbook’ for all other matters, a bit annoying but I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt in terms of being new up until today. There are a few other younger colleagues and I expect he is playing up to them.

I agree with this. When they say it’s just a joke, you ask them to explain why it’s funny as you don’t get the humour in what they said. Soon shuts them up!

30 years ago we wouldn't have turned a hair. Now, nope, that's not ok. Times have moved on. I'd be feeling fairly clenchy about this.

That’s not ok and I am really surprised on the number of posters who would accept it

unless we challenge nothing will change.

But the younger ones will hate it too. Urgh.

So the new generation of make managers are just the same. Great.

A while ago it might have been the sort of comment that somebody who knew all their team well might get away with or be shrugged of as it's just Dave.

Not acceptable now.

Not acceptable in the workplace at all. I’d complain

when you let the little stuff go it enables bigger stuff later

And he's stupid enough to say it out loud

I think it's really important to complain about this, and to use the phrase 'this comment creates a hostile environment for female employees' to HR and/or your higher manager if no HR.

Comments like these don't just have an impact at the moment that they're made - they effective become the fabric of the workplace. Your employer will be very aware that in tolerating this they make themselves liable.

That's what I thought. We know there are plenty who think this, but if you have anything about you, you know not to say it in the workplace. Not a good graduate trainee for accelerated promotion if he doesn'teven get that.

Was the call recorded? Send it to hr if so.

It's not acceptable behaviour

This is so gross but typical sadly.. they just don’t usually say it now. But I’ve heard enough comments from men that show they do plan journeys/look forward to summer knowing women will wear less, and how their sunglasses will hide the perving.

You are absolutely not being prudish that comment was inappropriate and unprofessional, full stop In a workplace setting, especially in a big corporate environment, a manager joking about “female flesh” is sexist, objectifying, and completely out of line. The fact that some people laughed doesn’t make it okay — it just shows how normalized these kinds of comments can be, which makes it harder for others to speak up
You’re right to feel uncomfortable. In fact, your instinct is the one rooted in respect and professionalism, not the manager’s behavior.l If it stuck with you, and especially if it made you or others feel uneasy, it’s worth considering Documenting it, just in case there’s a pattern
Speaking with HR or someone you trust if it happens again or gets worse.
Work should be a safe and respectful space and your reaction shows you value that. That’s not prudish that’s
just decent.

Inappropriate, especially from the manager.

This. That’s just not on.

OMG this is such a sexist remark. Suggest you contact HR & call him out.

I would just reply with i was hoping the men would be coming in wearing shorts so I could admire their legs.

That's just lowering the bar.

He's a prick who needs to learn that sexism in the workplace is not acceptable

Labelling people who didn't go along with this kind of 'banter' as prudes has been a tactic for years to minimise it. It's so ingrained that the OPs first reaction was, was she being prudish. Of course not. But it's always there, isn't it. Is it my reaction or feeling that is wrong, not is what was actually said wrong.

What happened?

The work place is NOT the place.
I work with a very informal bunch of people. At conferences we all go out and have a laugh. We tease each other etc. Not ever has anyone commented on the amount of flesh I am showing.

That's revolting! I'm hoping the laughter was nervous rather than approving?
Did anyone say anything? Is this person like that a lot? I mean even if they're not it's grim.

I would make a complaint to HR. But maybe see what others on the call thought about it as well. If nobody else saw it as a problem then there's a wider issue going on with attitude and sexism.