Do I need to unclench? Horrified by comment my manager made

[KellieMum3]

I recently moved teams at work, think big corporate company with a lot of middle managers. Team meeting (virtual) today. Manager was in the office - someone pointed out this isn’t his usual day to go in. His response was to say he checked the forecast and picked the day the most female flesh would be on display. Much laughter from some others on the call.

Am I being prudish or is that really not the time or place for such a comment?!

Excellent advice

I’d just make a note of it for now and see if it’s an ongoing trend. If it is then I think you should raise it with him first and if that doesn’t help then make it formal. Keep a record.

I don't see how that would help

The aim is to reduce everyday sexism dressed up as humour, not to increase it

What a tedious silly little man. What bothers me is that aside from the fact he thinks that this is acceptable to say is that others laughed. If you laugh at crap like this you are giving men like this the idea that this is reasonable behaviour. Any women laugh at him? if they did they are complicit in letting this sort of pathetic end of pier sexism continue.

I'm in a big corporate. I'd report this to HR. Fine to say you checked the forecast and came in to take advantage of aircon but not what he said 😳

It wouldn't fly in our office either. There's lots of banter and laughs here and a really good camaraderie but you'd get the side eye from senior management followed by a private chat to make it clear how unacceptable it was. Repeat offenders don't tend to last long here.

What an arsehole.

He’s a sad little twit.

But posters suggesting you complain are a bit OTT.

Complain? I can’t get worked up about this in anyway, but I’m clearly in the minority.

Eww, if this kind of shit doesn’t get called out then it doesn’t die out.

I'd report that personally, it's completely inappropriate.

That is terrible. I have hear some things like that ehen in small businesses but I work im big corps now and this would be grounds for disciplinary. It is not creating a phsycholocally safe environment for all staff and that is something most big companies are trying to do now.

If one of my employees did this id go nuts and they would absolutely be in trouble.
And If I heard that it happened, and others ignored it and thought nothing of it, id have them all back in the training we did to stamp this shit out.
I take this stuff very seriously and I expect my employees to also. We ALL need to create a healthy and safe environment, and if you turn a blind eye to it in my company, you are complicit. Id not look favourably on you at all.
Report. 100%.

I would like to think I’d address it in the moment but appreciate hindsight is a wonderful thing.

In your case, I would send him an email saying you found his comment at best distasteful and at worst offensive. You won’t be reporting it on this occasion but you hope it’s not repeated.

That way you have it documented in case you need it in the future. Hopefully he will be mortified and think twice about trying to be funny again.

Stuff like this needs to be stamped out. It’s a slippery slope and women shouldn’t have to constantly be on the lookout for creeps.

Urgh, vile pig! 🤢 YANBU to be reeeaaaallly pissed off about this @KellieMum3 Possibly even warrants a complaint to HR. Grim.

Gross and inappropriate from anyone, but completely unacceptable from a manager.

Which is why it needs nipping in the bud now. Otherwise more boundaries will be pushed and you'll end up in a macho woman-dissing work culture. Will HR take this seriously, OP? as it is sexist and unprofessional.

Utterly inappropriate and creepy, report it.

Thats awful, and I would bet some people laughed out of discomfort/awkwardness, not because they though it was funny.

Yeah report. Don’t minimise as that toxic and sexist culture is already established.yuck!

i agree I wouldn’t want to work with guys who think like that about women. But sadly I’m a pragmatist and accept that most men are childish pervs.

what REALLY gets me is not just the sentiment, it’s the fact they think that it’s ok to say this kind of thing in the office. The sexism is one thing, the lack of respect is another.

they don’t even consider for a second that this kind of thing might make their (female) colleagues uncomfortable or objectified

He is gross and it says a lot about the culture of the company that he even feels comfortable to make such a comment.

Would you really? At work?

What a lot of fuss about nothing really! It was a joke, JOKE - you know, that manner of speech which in intended to make people have a bit of a giggle. People are much too quick to take offence about very little these days.

Funnily enough, I just did my sexual harassment refresher training today and comments like this, especially if he makes a habit of it, would definitely qualify!