Going on holiday alone.

[Boliviabae]

I love going on holiday alone.

I love travelling. However I get really judged if I do! I have no partner and kids before anyone asks.

Earlier in the year, i went to Spain by myself. At the hotel , the man beside me at the bar started chatting to me. He said that he was here with his friend and he asked who was I with.

I said that I was travelling alone. He looked at me in shock and said "why would you do that!" I said "because i like it". He said "are you not afraid". I said "afraid of what?". I said to him "its a weekend in spain, I have been having a great time"

He said "But i like my friends, go with then" i said "I make new friends when i go places" etc etc. I said to him "when you are in your home country, surely you would go to the next city by yourself? It's not that different"

Anyway, I always get some man saying this to me when I go abroad alone.

I have also met lots of male solo travellers on my journeys , no one says anything to them, yet people seem to be absolutely shocked when women do it.

I am going to Spain by myself next week. My annual leave is written on the rota for all to see. My male colleagues have been coming up to me asking me where i am going (fair enough), then they also ask me who i am going with (which i think is a bit of a weird question and.none of their business anyway).

This time , I actually just lied that i was going with a friend, as I cant face all their judgy comments about travelling alone.

Why do men get so shocked at women travelling alone?

I have often thought about heading away for a long weekend by myself (married, no kids). I love spending time and travelling with my husband, I maybe make more of the decisions so it’s not like I’m under the thumb but I love the idea of a break away by myself and just having myself to please.

Enjoy Spain!

Because you - a woman - are doing something that doesn’t centre men.

The people judging you were just jealous
It is actually true.

They spend ridiculous sums of money going to centre parks or on package holidays with a pile of screaming kids. Having to spend vast sums of money to keep them entertained. Changing routines tantrums or warring teenagers.

Holidays with a husband and children to me sounds like fresh hell.

I pleased myself on a long hiking holiday in a very picturesque location and I realized that my week long holiday cost the same as two adults and two children for 2 nights at center Parc

Enjoy yourself.

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced being judged for traveling alone, and I’ve been doing it since I was 18. I’ve sometimes had women express surprise because they say they’d never go out to a bar or a restaurant on their own even when at home; but it’s usually in an “I wish I was confident enough” rather than judgemental way. Men have mostly just been neutral or, occasionally, offered up their women friends or relatives there if I’d like a local to show me around.

I’ve had some great experiences: I remember making friends with a Russian army squadron on a long leg of the train ride on the trans-Siberian route when I was about 20, they were awesome fun!

I have a husband and kids and I go on holidays alone to recharge. No one has ever questioned me about it while I’m there. I do get comments of how brave I am for venturing alone though from other women in our family.

I’m not going to wait around for someone to become available and I love only having to decide for me without worrying about someone else.

I've been abroad, on my own, many times. I prefer to be in control of my own itinerary. Ignore ignorant people, many of whom are just envious. Rome, Paris, Nice, Verona, Madrid, Barcelona, Salzberg, I've gone it alone and bloody loved it. You enjoy yourself x

I'd love to go away alone, but I am terrified.

I am recently separated, and although I have a partner, he has a very busy and stressy job and can't take much time off. I have researched solo travelling and where is best to go. My problem is my anxiety. I have a feeling I would go away and just stay in the room, unable to leave it.

I have flown on my own to the Netherlands to see a friend and to Morocco to meet with my partner who was working there. So I'm OK with the travel side of things .... its the peopling bit the other end.

This. I’ve been travelling solo periodically for over 30 years, and it’s tended to be women who’ve commented, along the lines @ComtesseDeSpair suggests — slightly wistfully. Mind you, ‘Is it weird to go to a play/gig/film/coffee shop/pub alone?’ comes up on here all the time, so I can see that, for that type of woman, getting on a plane alone, flying somewhere and spending a week or two pleasing yourself in a foreign place would be a huge deal…

I did it in May, enjoyed it so much I'm doing it again in September and meeting up with some people I met. Loved the freedom of going where I wanted, when I wanted...it's the way forward for me, I'm getting too old to compromise. Luckily I'm single 😁

I know couples who go on holiday separately as they cannot stand each other's holidays. One lies at the poolside all day and the other loves to explore cities etc.

I think women get more shocked by it to be honest.

Well 'shocked' isn't the right word really...more a 'I could never do it' reaction.

Especially since we tend to have a thread like this every month or so on MN, and most of the replies are (presumably) from women.

YANBU, I love travelling alone! A city break in Spain is one of my favourite things- just walking around, eating, having a glass of wine people watching etc...bliss. It's always the men who feel they can ask personal questions isn't it! I had an experience recently when this man came to sit at the table next to me and started bombarding me with annoying questions e.g. how old am I, are you single (he claimed to be married supposedly to allay any fears he was trying to chat me up), how much is your mortgage and so on.. just so annoying when I was trying to enjoy a cheeseboard and some wine with a fantastic river view!

I live on my own and almost always travel alone, the only exception being when I go away with my adult DDs.

I’ve done everything from city breaks and beach holidays to six months in a van and never had anything but a positive response from people. I’ve also made friends from all over the world. I bloody love my life!

You don’t have to have much contact with people if you don’t want to, though. I spent a week in Madrid by myself last winter, and I saw literally no one the whole time apart from hotel staff and brief exchanges with staff anywhere I bought food — I spent the entire time in total bliss in art museums from the moment they opened to when I got ushered out at night.

I have a husband and a teenager, but I also like doing my own thing. The more people, the more compromises.

I've always had separate holidays from dh ( now ex) and think nothing of it.

Just dont engage with any men In future OP. Have a lovely holiday 🍸

I spend, on average, 8 weeks every year travelling solo. I have never felt judged, nobody has ever queried why. The only comment I get is one of envy - either people feeling they can't go alone because of family commitments or they don't have the confidence to do it.

I'm away right now, currently sitting looking at the sea with a coffee deciding what to do with my day. Total peace, total control, total independence. Love it!

That’s my DH and I.

He would happily lie by a pool for a week and go out for his meals maybe do a few runs while I love to explore.

Travelling to a foreign country to just lie by a pool for a week is pointless to me.

I had my first solo holiday last week. My son is unable to travel atm, so DH and I have decided to take turns going away on our own for the time being.
My menopausal anxiety was through the roof the day before, but I had such a good time. I started small- 3 days, and went to the south of France, which is a fairly familiar area for me. It was so nice just pleasing myself, and gave me the confidence to maybe do something a bit different next time.
Maybe try a UK solo trip first, and work your way up to something bigger.

I'm surprised that so many people have asked you. I also go away alone quite a bit, the only person who has ever really commented one way or another is my gran, and to be fair she is 87! Nobody else has bat an eyelid, and I've seen lots of other people alone too wherever I've gone. Apparently 34% of people are planning a solo break this year https://hnmagazine.co.uk/travel/solo-travel-is-on-the-rise-in-2025/

I think it's fair enough if it's not something someone would fancy themselves - different people get different things out of holidays. But it's so ignorant to literally not be able to even imagine that other people can think differently and like different things to you! I would think the people who say that to you are very unimaginative and unempathetic, so not the sort of people you'd like to be friends with or whose opinions you'd care about anyway!

Only place I was questioned travelling along was India. No one bothers asking in SE Asia, Mexico Canada Europe etc

I’ve only done it once - I went to Tallinn and then across to Helsinki by ferry from there - and I absolutely loved it. As a pp said, it’s the total control of your own itinerary and freedom to choose that is so fantastic.

And the peace to think about what you’re doing and really take it in.

I would love to do it again but need more £££

I do have children but I did this trip whilst they were with their Dad.

You’re only being judged by dick head men who can only make themselves feel good by putting women down. Ignore and have fun.

Same
I've never had a man ask questions about my solo travel but plenty of women have.

I once had a man ask me why on earth I was travelling alone, when he was also travelling alone!