Going on holiday alone.

[Boliviabae]

I love going on holiday alone.

I love travelling. However I get really judged if I do! I have no partner and kids before anyone asks.

Earlier in the year, i went to Spain by myself. At the hotel , the man beside me at the bar started chatting to me. He said that he was here with his friend and he asked who was I with.

I said that I was travelling alone. He looked at me in shock and said "why would you do that!" I said "because i like it". He said "are you not afraid". I said "afraid of what?". I said to him "its a weekend in spain, I have been having a great time"

He said "But i like my friends, go with then" i said "I make new friends when i go places" etc etc. I said to him "when you are in your home country, surely you would go to the next city by yourself? It's not that different"

Anyway, I always get some man saying this to me when I go abroad alone.

I have also met lots of male solo travellers on my journeys , no one says anything to them, yet people seem to be absolutely shocked when women do it.

I am going to Spain by myself next week. My annual leave is written on the rota for all to see. My male colleagues have been coming up to me asking me where i am going (fair enough), then they also ask me who i am going with (which i think is a bit of a weird question and.none of their business anyway).

This time , I actually just lied that i was going with a friend, as I cant face all their judgy comments about travelling alone.

Why do men get so shocked at women travelling alone?

How did train woman get places, then? Lots of driving (assuming she could do that alone)? Or she just didn’t go?

And did bar woman wait outside? What if it was raining?!

I currently have a SO

I go on holidays alone or with family or friends

So goes on holidays alone or with family or friends

We both go on holidays together or with family or friends

We enjoy travelling

We enjoy the spur of the moment too

We have one event booked for next year so far

We may go away later this week if the weather cools down

There is nothing wrong with solo travel, do your own thing, to your budget, timescales, meet people, go with the flo
I like things that are not fully planned
Ask local people for recommendations of places to visit or eat or transport
Mix it up !

Not so much nowadays, as all my friends are women who do loads of stuff independently - but certainly when I was a bit younger, or when I’ve spoken to colleagues, some women will, whatever the weather, actually want to meet outside a pub or restaurant rather than go in alone. I felt sympathy for them, and as I liked them my workaround was always just to arrive a bit early, go in and find us a table and settle myself with a drink whilst I waited for them, so they didn’t have to worry about standing around in the dark (also concerning for them) or the cold.

I didn’t say that. You’re fortunate that you can do that. Not everyone can.
Personally I wouldn’t let others opinion bother me. To be fair I’ve travelled alone too and it’s been wonderful but 99% of the time I can’t as i have a very young family. I’m sure that’ll change in the future.
We all have different circumstances so I don’t really take other peoples opinions of what I should or shouldn’t do seriously.

You sound like a lovely person. I don’t think my reaction would have been quite so supportive.

I get that! Again we all have different circumstances too.

I have no issue travelling solo for work which I do regularly these days but I wouldn’t do it for leisure. That’s just me though. But I do get that people don’t want to wait around though and maybe if I was in that situation I’d feel the same as it would be solo travelling or no travelling so I’d choose the solo option. This is something I did when I was younger and pre family.

Also the comment about men not getting this comment. How do we know that’s factual as have we surveyed solo male travellers. Maybe they just don’t pay attention to the comments or no one asks them as the person asking is more concerned about their reaction and worry less about women telling them to mind their own business. Or maybe they assume women prefer being with others. There’s so many stereotypes in the world.

My view is that people should just focus on what they want to do and not worry about others opinions as we don’t have the same life story, situation/circumstances so have to do what we got to do. My point was that the reality everyone has opinions mostly because of what’s important to them. It’s much harder for people to relate to others even when they try. They tend to revert back to how they feel and what they would do.

I think things like movies and TV shows have a lot to answer for on this one: giving this idea that a single woman in a bar will be immediately approached by men trying to pick her up; or a woman waiting alone at a table will get pitying looks from people assuming her date has stood her up. Neither are the case, but if you’re self-conscious, I can see why it would be a big deal.

I’m going on my first solo holiday next week and I’m not in the least bit anxious. When Ive told people Ive mostly had people saying they have a friend who does this, or they’re super jealous that I can do what I want. I’ve only had one ask me if I think it’s safe for a woman to do this. She’d never travel alone anyway.
I am prepared to say that I’m waiting for my (non existent) husband or friend if I’m away and hit on, but apart from that I’m hoping it’ll be fabulous.

I travel on my own abroad about four times a year. I also go with friends and family.

I have never had anyone question me about it.

You could be travelling home on the train from work on Fri night and something happens to you. No one might fund out about that for a while either

Do you work mainly with men? You mentioned
'my male colleagues have been coming up to me asking me where i am going (fair enough), then they also ask me who i am going with', which sounds odd to me. Do the women in your workplace not ask?
People in my work will ask me what I'm doing with my annual leave if it comes up un a meeting in the lead up, and some will ask who I'm going on holiday with - usually solo. I see it as nosey, not judgy.
Honestly, sounds like you're giving other people's opinions more value and attention than they're worth.

Aw thanks so much! If, at my age it encourages anyone else to try it out, I'd be delighted. Although I do realise that we more or less have to be comfortable in our own company to head off like that!

And yes, Bayonne and S Seb are wonderful spots. Full on Basque with an absolute adoration for rugby in Bayonne thrown in!

Don't be silly. You were 20, drunk and naive. And with a friend, also drunk and naive. So not travelling alone clearly didn't save you from anything.

Taking the usual precautions you'd take anywhere is not putting you at undue risk.

Agree.

I don’t know about other solo travellers but I’m more cautious because I’m traveling alone in an area I’m not familiar with and as another poster mentioned, I also don’t let strangers know I’m traveling alone when asked or volunteer such information.

I've never had people be shocked and I've travelled solo extensively through Colombia, Guatemala, the Philippines, Indonesia among others.

This in a nutshell and women ask because so many are still conditioned to be dependant on others for fun and to not do anything alone for safety (whether that be girls holiday/couples breaks or age specific solo traveller groups).

I know that it's not to everybody's taste (and it wasn't mine until I passed 60) but you might try a short cruise. Lots of different styles of ships, itineraries, dress codes, but they're very safe, look after you terrifically well, and IME they have Solo Traveller meetups arranged regularly, sometimes hosted, sometimes not. If you eat formally, theyn also offer options to sit a table with other solos, or not, as you prefer. Good luck!

I'm going to Crete for a week, on my own, very soon. I'm celebrating 15 years of going on holidays solo, started when I was 40. I've been all over the Med, Europe and the Canaries, Egypt ...it's been great! It all started when I was married to my ex husband and he worked very unsociable hours and there was about 3 months during the summer where he couldn't get a solid week off at all. Going on holiday on my own was something I'd always wanted to do, since I was a teenager. I was lucky to be in a job where I got two months annual leave a year ... I do go away with friends too but I really value and enjoy the solo trips!

I've never felt unsafe, even when I was in Sharm-el-Sheik a week after the bombings. One of the many benefits of being a plump middle aged woman is that I'm invisible to most men! I always travel with full insurance and I also make sure that more than one person back home knows where I'm staying, when I'm due back, etc. I also regularly ring home when away (mainly to check on my cats!).

I've just come back from Crete - I go every year. I have been on holiday with friends in the past. It was OK but I'd much rather be by myself.

i was like this and almost cancelled my first solo holiday a few years ago. I’m so glad I went. I think the key is to do things you enjoy and not try to push yourself out of your comfort zone too much, as the travelling alone already does that. So I visit historical places and art galleries and I go out for meals - but not generally at busy restaurants amongst big groups, often a bit earlier in the evening when it’s quieter. I have also joined half-day food tours and walking tours and enjoy those a lot - they get you company without the pressure to socialise with no focus (which is what I struggle with). I’m not a hostel
person but friends of mine are and always met people there who were interested in going to the same attraction that day.
You could also join a complete tour with a group of other solos as a way of easing yourself into it.

I go away on my own every year, it's a wonderful reset and I enjoy my own company/quiet time. I like to wander around a new city, take it in, eat where/when I want and not have to talk to anyone. I have never, ever had anyone ask me why I'm on my own or be remotely creepy - maybe I'm just lucky! I'd just walk off if it did happen to be honest, unless I was mid meal. You do you, solo travel is one of life's great pleasures!

I like travelling alone too although I haven’t gone abroad on my own as my husband likes coming too. If he didn’t I would be happy to go alone. I often do walking breaks alone in the UK as he hates walking. Maybe they think it’s weird because you are essentially saying you don’t need a man with you to have a nice time or indeed another woman. I think it is often insecure people who question it as if they can’t believe everyone is not like them and some of us like our own company.